


Addicted

by Chameleon777



Series: Inner Loss [3]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Addiction, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Bigotry & Prejudice, Depression, Family Issues, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Other, Post-Canon Cardassia, Social Anxiety, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:35:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 40,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25902166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chameleon777/pseuds/Chameleon777
Summary: Two weeks after the events of 'Inner Loss,' Julian Bashir is struggling with loneliness and depression to the point where he's developed a dependency on real alcohol to help him numb his pain. He is ordered to take a leave from Deep Space Nine, but is first tasked with delivering medical supplies to a recovering Cardassia. His arrival to Cardassia is less than pleasant, but he finds that he is not alone and that there's more to life than he actually believes...
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Series: Inner Loss [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1879732
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	1. Pain

** June 2376 **

The darkness in his quarters was not enough to keep Julian Bashir asleep. 

“Computer…lights,” Julian’s voice, quiet and weak from overuse and constant sobbing, spoke.

Julian swore as the lights flashed on and nearly blinded him. He was sitting up in bed with Kukalaka beside him. His expression was tired and he felt like he was dying; his broken heart from a few months ago had yet to heal and he had been doing his best to self-medicate the pain away. 

“Looks like I need some more liquid medicine,” Julian mused softly, gazing at his bear sadly. “I _hurt_.”

Sighing irritably, he got up and changed into civilian clothes in his bedroom before wandering into his living room. Several empty bottles were on the coffee table along with a dermal regenerator and a small item that looked like a sheathed weapon. Julian eyed the bottles with a look of disdain and let out an angry sigh.

“I _can't_ be running dry,” Julian mused bitterly. “At least I have a day off tomorrow so I can get more.”

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Quark’s Bar was open, but it was quiet because of the early hour Quark, however, was awake and silently cleaning glasses. Julian entered the bar and silently made his way over to Quark, sighing as he took a seat and looked around for a bottle of actual liquor. He had plenty of latinum to waste.

“What'll it be this morning, Doctor?” Quark asked, spotting him there. “Prune juice to wake you up?”

Julian scoffed and shot him a glare, “Do I look like Worf, Quark?” he snipped coldly. “Give me a bottle of actual liquor.”

“It's 0200,” Quark replied in a concerned voice, frowning at him. “Isn't it a little early to be drinking?”

Again, Julian scoffed, “It's the _best_ medicine for nightmares,” he snapped. “You _know_ I can pay.”

Quark sighed as Bashir reached into his pocket and pulled out a few strips of latinum, cursing under his breath as he tossed them on the counter. Quark reluctantly took the latinum and retrieved a small bottle from the shelf. Julian eyed the bottle hungrily before he snatched it away from Quark aggressively.

“Not sticking around?” Quark asked, frowning as Julian stood with the bottle in hand.

A sigh escaped Julian’s lips, “I prefer to drink my pain away in the comfort of my quarters,” he replied.

“Still hurting over Ezri leaving you?” Quark scoffed. “This has become somewhat of a _pattern_...”

A disgusted expression filled Julian’s face, “What, are you a psychologist now, Quark?” he asked in a loud, irritable voice. “I can afford it.”

“I thought Garak came by two weeks ago for a visit?” Quark asked, desperate to keep Julian in the bar and talking until someone could get there to deal with him. “Didn't that help?”

Julian sighed sadly, “We had a meal and a chat, but he's helping run the new government and he had to get back,” he replied sadly. “Everyone's got their responsibilities now and nobody has time for me anymore.”

“So you're having alcohol in the early morning hours because you're lonely?” Quark asked softly.

Julian nodded, his expression pained, “It _hurts_ to be alone,” he moaned as he opened the bottle. “It _hurts_ that people who claimed to care about me like family left me alone when better opportunities came along. This is...what is this you've given me?”

“I think it's a whiskey of sorts, but I don't know,” Quark replied nervously. “I got it a while ago and it's been sitting on the shelf collecting dust. Not many order anything other than synthale anymore.”

Julian smirked, “So the old liquor is left behind...just like me,” he whispered. “Bottoms up.”

Sighing sadly, Julian began to drink from the bottle without stopping while Quark watched, deeply concerned and disgusted by the doctor's behavior. While drank, Kira came into Quark's.

“Julian, we _need_ to talk,” Kira spoke softly, frowning as she approached her inebriated friend.

Julian turned and smiled drunkenly at Kira, “Ah, _my dear darling_ Colonel Nerys!” he slurred, the alcohol hitting him quicker than usual. “What brings you by?”

“Did Garak's visit not help?” Kira asked in a concerned voice. “You're drunk at 0200.”

A drunken scoff escaped Julian’s lips as he took another swig, “ _Everyone_ leaves me, Nerys,” he slurred sadly, his expression weepy and sniffly “ _Nobody_ wants a weak, workaholic, Augment in their lives. I'm too _flawed_ and nobody wants to stay. It's _much too hard_ to love me.”

“So you want to kill yourself with drinking liquor?” Kira responded in a concerned voice. “Do you?”

Julian suddenly looked very somber as he sighed, “Maybe,” he responded, his drunken tone almost a whisper of pain. “Everything just hurts _so much_ right now...”

Not wanting to talk anymore and simply go to bed with the bottle, Julian moved forward with the half-drunk bottle in hand and nearly fell over in the process, but Kira caught him.

“Julian, I think you need to take a break from the station,” Kira spoke gently, frowning. “You should have taken a leave after you recovered from the bar fight, but you didn't. I think you need to take a break now.”

Swear words blew out of Julian’s lips at warp speed as he threw the bottle on the floor, smashing it and sending liquor everywhere, “I AM FINE!” he shouted with an unrestrained fury. “LEAVE ME ALONE!”

Before Kira or Quark could reply, Julian stormed out of the bar with an angry expression on his face.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Two days later, Julian found himself landing a runabout at what was left of the Port of Cardassia after he had been deemed sober enough to fly. His little binge and tantrum had gotten him sent off on a mission to deliver relief medical supplies to Cardassia, but it was Kira’s way of giving him leave without letting Starfleet know what he had become since losing Ricky and since the bar fight.

“ _Landing sequence complete_ ,” the computer chirped. “ _Shuttle powering down_.”

From what Julian could tell, it was nighttime and he hated it. He was scrubbed, polished, and dressed in a Starfleet uniform per Colonel Kira’s request that he look and act presentable while delivering the supplies, but he hated it. All he wanted to do was nurse a bottle of something and cry his heart out.

Instead, he was sitting in a runabout with a bag packed that included Kukulaka, toiletries, and clothes for a few days. He was a relief ambassador until the supplies were delivered and then what was he?

“I can't believe I'm here delivering medical supplies,” Julian scoffed bitterly. “I didn't want to do this!”

Letting out another scoff, Bashir pressed the comms terminal, “This is Doctor Julian Bashir here with a donation of medical supplies from the Federation,” he spoke in a false professional voice. “Would you like them delivered to the hospital or will you just beam them out?”

“ _We can beam them out, Doctor Bashir_ ,” a voice quickly responded. “ _You’re free to go meet up with your host, but be mindful of where you go. Welcome to the capital of Cardassia Prime_....”

Julian silently opened the shuttle door and stared at the mess of the city briefly before he gathered his personal bag and got out. He silently made his way down the street before stopping suddenly, his need for a drink overwhelming his need to get inside. It was easy enough to fish a filled flask from his bag and take a few drinks as he walked, but he didn’t seem to notice that he had attracted attention.

Suddenly, a gang of raggedy looking Cardassians came out of an alley and grabbed Julian’s bag and flask before shoving him, but Julian managed to fell one of his muggers with a combat punch. A fight quickly ensued from there and Julian tried his best to fight, but he was ultimately outmatched and the Cardassians knocked him out quickly before roughing him up. As Julian lay unconscious on the dirt, the Cardassians stole his flask and dump the contents of his bag on the ground to examine everything. His clothes, his toiletries, and Kukulaka were now inhabitants of the dirt, but he didn’t see it.

“ _Stop right there_ , all three of you!” a stern voice suddenly shouted as they saw the man in the dirt and the miscreants pillaging. “Get back to your section of the city NOW!”

The Cardassians scattered, leaving Julian and the items in the dirt. A trio of well-dressed Cardassians, one of which was newly appointed Legate Elim Garak, came into view shortly thereafter and they froze at seeing the mess in their path. His companions, Doctor Galen and Gul Davar, looked equally concerned because it appeared like the homeless population seemed to be getting more violent by the day and there was very little that could be done about it. Simply put, there wasn’t enough security.

“Galen, Davar, it seems we need to get a fence around the city slums so those nutcases can't get out at night and rob people,” Garak snipped irritably, sighing when he recognized the Federation uniform and realized it was a relief worker. “Oh, _dear_...he's from the Federation. That will do _wonders_ for diplomacy…”

Galen and Davar began picking up the items and returning them to the bag while Garak turned the injured person over to check on him. He froze, horrified to see that it was his old friend, Julian. 

“It's my _dear_ friend, Doctor Julian Bashir!” Garak exclaimed, realizing that his feelings for Julian had not entirely faded with time even though he had tried to make them. “Galen, he's _injured_...”

Galen quickly pulled out a communicator, one of the many supplies that the Federation had been handing out like candy since the relief efforts began, “I'll call for medics,” he replied in a gruff, irritated voice. “It's _bad enough_ that those _slummers_ attacked a Federation envoy, but they also tried to rob him. Do you want him taken to the hospital or just to your estate?”

“The estate's safer and you can treat him there,” Garak replied as he picked up Julian’s bag. “He's been beaten quite badly.”

As Galen put in the call, the stench of alcohol suddenly filled his nose and he quickly determined that it had been Julian drinking it, “He also smells like _liquor_ ,” he hissed coldly, frowning. “How _disgusting_.”

“Galen, _stop being dramatic_!” Garak scoffed indignantly, glaring at his friend. “We've got to get him off the street before the slummers come back in greater numbers! You _know_ that they will and if they see him still here...”

Galen nodded, his expression grim as he, Davar, and Garak worked to help Julian as they were able.


	2. Broken Pieces

The news was often on in the house Garak had been given along with his position and he wouldn’t have it any other way because it was a way for him to see what the needs of the people were. A lot of Cardassians rendered homeless and unstable by the war had problems communicating their needs because they didn’t know how or they were afraid of being seen as weak. Media reports, however, told nothing but the truth and so Garak relied on them and observation to get necessary information.

“… _Legate Elim Garak has commissioned more security for the Cardassian Tent Cities after three homeless individuals attacked a Federation envoy who was delivering medical supplies to Cardassia Prime,”_ the newscaster’s voice echoed through the house _. “The Detapa Council is currently debating whether or not such a measure is ethical...”_

Scowling irritably, Garak swore and shut the news off, “The new Detapa Council is absolutely incompetent!” he grumbled as an attendant suddenly came out of the bedroom he had set aside for guests. “Especially the head of it!”

“Legate Garak, you asked me to inform you when your guest was awake,” Delyn, one of the Cardassians who had been rendered homeless by the war, but had found employ at Garak’s mercy, suddenly spoke in a cautious voice as she faced her employer. “Do you wish to see him?”

Garak quickly engaged in a breathing exercise to calm himself so he wouldn’t take his frustration about Julian out on his staff, “Thank you,” he finally spoke calmly. “Please bring the food to his room.”

As Delyn nodded, Garak rose and made his way to the guest bedroom. He and Julian _needed_ to talk.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

_ Where am I? Was I kidnapped by those Cardassians who roughed me up? Am I a prisoner now? _ All those questions and more filled Julian’s mind. He had woken to find himself being tended to by an unfamiliar Cardassian, but had been too scared to say anything in case it wasn’t safe or even real.

Now, Julian was lying in bed awake and sporting bruises and scrapes on his face while his left arm had been wrapped and set in a sling. His head was sporting a bandage and he was wearing Cardassian clothing, as his Starfleet uniform had been dirtied and damaged in the fight. He wasn’t happy, but he was too weak to complain or ask any questions about what was going on and what had happened.

Garak entered the bedroom and Julian instinctively sat up in a fright, but immediately crumpled forward in pain. Julian had not been expecting to see Garak of all people after Garak had left with very few words. Even though he was in pain, Julian couldn’t help himself; he had _missed_ Garak.

“You ought to be more careful given your injuries,” Garak spoke in a quiet voice.

Julian peered at him warily, “ _Garak_?” he asked in a hiss of pain. “Where exactly am I? A hospital?”

“No, you're in my estate just outside the rebuilt Imperial Plaza and just outside what we call the 'market district',” Garak replied with a sigh. “Doctor Galen treated your injuries here, but he had to go back to his work at the hospital. My attendants have been making sure you didn't die in your sleep.”

A pained expression crossed Julian’s face, “Maybe it would have been better if I _had_ died in my sleep,” he spoke in a quiet, subdued voice.

“That's _not_ a very funny joke, Doctor,” Garak replied, his eyes narrowing.

Tiredness filled Julian and he sighed weakly, “I _wasn't_ joking,” he admitted sadly. “It would be best if I _did_ die in my sleep.”

Julian quickly slipped back into sleep without another thought, but Garak stood there with a horrified expression on his face. The attendant, known by Garak as Delyn, came into the room with a tray containing a bowl of soup and a steaming mug.

“The food you requested, Legate,” Delyn spoke penitently. “Shall I feed our guest as well?”

Deeply unsettled by Julian’s behavior and words, Garak shook his head, “Just set the food on the desk for now and let our guest sleep, Delyn.”

Delyn nodded and Garak silently left the room in a hurry, deeply concerned that Julian had basically confessed to being in a suicidal frame of mind. He made his way over to his workdesk in the living room, sat, and used the computer to clear his appointments. Julian needed him and he, Elim Garak, needed to be there for Julian even if Julian didn’t want him. It was too serious of a situation to ignore.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

A few days later, Elim found himself sitting in his living room, silently sharing tea with Galen. Elim had done his best to tend to Julian’s needs with Delyn’s help, but Julian had been unusually silent through all of their interactions and Elim had finally called Galen to discuss the situation over tea.

“…His blood alcohol level was significantly high for a Human considering there's synthehol available,” Galen spoke solemnly between sips of red leaf tea. “Garak, if he's suicidal, he _should_ be in a hospital for treatment.”

A scoff escaped Garak’s lips because he suddenly found himself protective of Julian and what they had once been, “I'd _rather_ protect his reputation, Galen,” he spoke firmly. “Julian helped me through some very difficult times when I was in exile on Deep Space Nine. Now that I'm in a better situation, I...”

“If the Federation comes snooping, I'll say he's recovering from a mugging that happened while he was delivering the medical supplies,” Galen relented, seeing that his friend was determined to see the situation through by protecting Julian as much as possible. “I want your word, Garak, that you'll send him to the hospital if he becomes too much for you...”

Instead of giving his word, however, Garak sighed, “He _never_ gave up on me,” he argued softly. “I wouldn't _dream_ of doing that to him.”

Needing a break from the distressing conversation, Garak rose from the couch and wandered off to the guest room, leaving Galen in his living room. Galen didn’t leave, though, as he was concerned and wanted to personally ensure that Garak wasn’t taking too much on himself with caring for Julian.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Julian was very much awake, but he hadn’t been speaking to anyone. His expression was pained, as if he was suffering simply by being alive. He honestly didn’t know how he felt about anything anymore.

“My _dear_ doctor, it's good to see you awake...” Garak spoke gently as he entered the room.

Sadness filled Julian’s eyes, “I _wish_ I felt happy to be awake,” he confessed in a subdued voice. “I can't feel much of anything...but tired.”

“That's because you're probably hungover from your drunken binge,” Garak replied calmly. “My dear doctor, I'm happy to see you...but you were drunk when you were out walking around in the market area and you made yourself an easy target. I...I really expected more mature behavior from you.”

Almost immediately, upon seeing Julian scowl, Garak realized that he had said the wrong thing, “Because I'm the perfect little Augment, right?” Julian replied coldly. “I'm supposed to do what everyone else expects and be okay when I'm left behind? I have _feelings,_ Garak…or at least I did.”

Overtired, hungry, and weak, Julian suddenly broke into coughing fit and ended up vomiting on the tiled floor. Garak winced, but made his way over to the bed whilst stepping around the vomit.

“I think you could use a friend right now, my dear, _dear_ doctor,” Garak spoke in a pensive voice, knowing full well that Julian would call him on the fact that he left and didn’t keep in touch

Julian looked down at the blanket listlessly, “Everyone _leaves_ ,” he stated in a weak tone. “You already did and Ricky was taken from me. Ezri left without a word. The alcohol...it's _always_ there...”

“Julian, I can't _imagine_ why you would want to damage your perfect body and your brilliant mind with such a toxic substance,” Garak spoke gently, grateful that Julian was at least talking to him. “I left the station because my exile was over...”

Completely disinterested in furthering the conversation, as it would involve revisiting unspoken feelings that he was not yet ready to revisit, Julian sighed, “I puked on your floor,” he spoke in a weaker voice. “What time is it? I feel quite... _dirty_.”

Garak gently helped Julian sit up, but Julian couldn’t stay sitting up. He immediately sank forward into Garak's arms.

“I've got the chief physician of the central hospital here to look at you,” Garak spoke soothingly, wanting Julian to know that he was there and wouldn’t give up on him. “Galen!”

Galen comes into the guest bedroom carrying a medkit and paused at the sight of Garak holding Julian. He had heard plenty from both Garak and Kelas about the elusive Julian, but seeing Garak have such affection for such a messy looking individual was strange and concerning. 

“He can't sit up on his own, Galen,” Garak spoke firmly, his expression insistent, “And he puked on my floor.”

Galen scowled as he sniffed the air, “He _smells_ ,” he replied in a disgusted voice that reminded Garak of how Dukat used to be. “I have my reservations about helping him clean up if he's not willing to stay clean. I know you're a Legate, but there aren't there _resources_ to help someone like...”

“Either do your duty, Doctor Galen, or _get out_ and tender your resignation!” Garak shouted, having had enough of Galen’s harsh judgments against Julian. “You’re a _doctor_ and he’s _in need_ of one!”

Galen reluctantly came over to the bed and yelped as he accidentally stepped in the vomit. He put the med-kit on the bed and opened it, purposely not speaking to Julian as he got a few hyposprays out. Julian sighed weakly and covered his face with his right hand; he was hurting and embarrassed about everything. He could tell Galen didn’t like him and that Garak was on the verge of losing his temper.

“This will help with the injury pain,” Galen spoke in his ‘physician voice’ as he administered a hypospray to Julian’s neck. “You broke a few ribs, cracked your skull, and fractured your arm. I knitted the bones and they should be all right in a week or so. I admit, I'm _very reluctant_ to give you anything else because of your current addiction.”

Julian frowned, “ _Addiction_?” he replied in a confused voice as he slowly sat up. “I'm _not_ addicted...I just use it for my pain.”

Without warning, Garak extracted his disruptor pistol from his pocket, pointed it at the vomit, and vaporized the vomit from the floor, nearly missing Galen's feet in the process.

“Garak, _what are you doing?!”_ Galen snapped, his eyes wide. “You nearly hit my feet! You have cleaning staff to take care of that mess!”

Garak, however, was not yet done and pointed the pistol at Julian next, “Do you think I should shoot you now or later, my dear doctor?” he asked in a cold, very Obsidian-order like voice.

Julian’s eyes widened in shock, “I....why do you want to kill me, Garak?” he asked in a groggy, deeply confused voice. “I'm...I'm a guest...I thought.”

“You're a valuable person, yes, but why should I let you live when you're trying to kill yourself anyway?” Garak asked in a cold voice, his expression murderous. “Me shooting you will save you time and credits. You _obviously_ want to die.”

Julian swore, "No, I don't! I just don't know how to deal with the pain!" he snapped anxiously. "Put the phaser away!"

Galen’s expression was priceless: he was staring open-mouthed at Garak like he'd lost his marbles. Julian, however, was suddenly starting to realize that he had become a suicidal addict who was in great need of help. Garak suddenly smirked before he holstered the weapon and walked over to the desk where a tray containing a steaming drink and a bowl of soup were sitting courtesy of Delyn.

Galen watched as Garak brought the tray over and set it down on Julian's lap, effectively trapping him in the bed. Galen moved himself and his supplies out of the way.

“This soup is a recipe Mila used to make me when I was sick,” Garak said as he sat on the bed, picked up the spoon, and got ready to feed his broken friend. “Open your mouth.”

Stunned speechless by Garak’s rant, Julian quietly obeyed and Garak calmly fed him the soup bit by bit until the bowl was empty. Garak then fed Julian the entire cup of the steaming tea.

“It's a start, I suppose,” Garak said with a sigh, his expression unhappy as he looked Julian over and took in how badly his friend looked and smelled. “Anyway, I've cleared my schedule for the week so I will be able to nurse you back to health until you can take care of yourself. You can't very well do anything productive with that arm and I've already sent a message to Deep Space Nine saying that you were mugged while delivering the supplies. I've also assured the Federation you will be my guest while you recover and you'll be under my estate's protection. You could use a wash now that you’re fed.”

“I could use a lot of things...my sanity and ability to feel...anything.” Julian managed to say softly.

Garak sighed and gently patted Julian’s face, having missed touching him, “I'll help you as best I can,” he promised in a quiet, tender voice, his expression gentle. “You just have to ask for it, my dear Doctor Bashir. (a beat) Firstly, we're going to stop with those _nasty_ alcoholic binges because synthale _does_ exist if you _must_ drink and actual alcohol can be _quite_ damaging to the body.”

Julian nodded, a tired and forlorn expression on his face. Garak promptly got up with the tray in hand. 

“Galen's going to check you over and give you some nutrient shots while I recycle these dishes,” Garak spoke in a calming voice. “When I come back, you are going to have a bath and we _are_ going to talk some more.”

Garak quickly left the room with the dishes and to get things Julian would need for his bath. Galen reluctantly sat on the bed and administered a few different hyposprays to Julian’s neck. Julian accepted them all without complaint and found himself surprised when Galen removes the sling and bandages.

“I'll be here for when Garak thinks you're clean,” Galen spoke softly. “He _does_ want to help you, you know.”

A few moments passed before Garak returned carrying a basket filled with soaps, medicine, and scrubbies he had made in his downtime. “Bath time, Doctor!” he announced in a firm voice.

Galen stood up quickly because he couldn’t stand being around Julian any longer than necessary and Julian did try to get out of bed, but he found he didn’t have the strength. Galen reluctantly helped him up and helped him sit on the edge of the jet tub in the guest bathroom before moving into the living room to wait. Galen found himself concerned enough for Garak that he was going to have a frank conversation about Julian with him even if such a thing took all day to accomplish.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Even though he was sitting in a tub full of warm water, Julian felt cold and uncomfortable. Garak had stripped him of the pajamas and had made him comfortable, but Julian looked and felt absolutely miserable, tired, emotionally drained, and out of place. Garak, meanwhile, was focused on the bath and he set the basket on one end of the tub's edge while sitting on the other end of the edge. He soaped up a scrubbie and tossed it in the water.

“Clean yourself, but don't aggravate your injuries or Galen will have my head,” Garak spoke calmly.

Julian obeyed even though he was absolutely disgusted with himself to the point where he didn’t want to help himself feel better. At the same time, Garak got some water from the tub, used it to wet Julian's hair, and gently washed the man’s hair using water and some shampoo from the basket of supplies he had brought into the bathroom. 

Garak then used medicinal soap to wash the bruised parts of Julian's body before drying the younger man's cleaned hair with a towel. Once Julian was clean, Garak helped Julian from the tub and immediately wrapped him in a giant towel before having him sit on the edge of the tub. Garak promptly left the bathroom briefly and returned with some clean clothes and fresh bandages. He had been counting on Galen to help him get Julian back in bed, but Galen had left without a word.

“Galen had to leave,” Garak spoke gently. “He doesn't seem to like you very much, unfortunately.”

Julian sighed sleepily, “That makes two of us. Garak...thank you for the bath,” he spoke weakly.

Garak nodded and got Julian out of the towel before bandaging his wounds and dressing him.As Garak dressed Julian, he caught sight of self-inflicted wounds on the man’s wrists and thighs. Why would someone as beautiful and gentle as Julian want to hurt himself like that? Garak wondered sadly.

“I think, my dear doctor, it's time for you to go back to bed and get some rest,” Garak spoke gently.

Julian, however, was fighting sleep so much that Garak finally scooped him into his arms and carried him from the bathroom. The mess and tub was left unattended and Garak didn’t care about it; he could and would ask Delyn to deal with it later. Garak’s focus was entirely on Julian and he took great care to settle him into bed before covering him up and leaving the room. Julian mumbled incoherently, but didn’t wake because he was exhausted from everything he had been through up to that point. 

Garak’s journey to the living room was quick and quiet. The self-inflicted wounds on Julian had _rattled_ him and he needed to be alone with his thoughts. He sat at his work desk and sighed heavily.

“Computer, can you play some classical music, please?” Garak asked timidly. “ _Soft_ classical music.”

Soft violin music filled the house and Garak relaxed considerably, but his relaxation was cut short by the computer suddenly beeping. Who was calling him at home at this time of day?

“Computer, end music,” Garak scoffed irritably. “Who's calling?”

Galen's face appeared on the screen and Garak scoffed irritably. Galen, however, wasn’t scared off.

“ _You look unhappy, my friend_ ,” Galen observed softly, frowning. “ _Was it that much trouble cleaning him up?”_

Garak scowled, “Do me and yourself a huge favor, Galen, and _shut your mouth_ ,” he scoffed with an irritated sigh, his expression somber. “I found evidence on Doctor Bashir's body that he's been cutting his skin and he has suicidal desires.”

“ _Garak, you can't hide this_!” Galen replied in an annoyed voice, glaring at his friend as a doctor would an obstinate patient. “ _Starfleet doesn't have the patience for the mentally ill, nor do they have the resources that would allow him to stay in the service. If they find out...!”_

Garak scoffed indignantly, “I _happen_ to know that Doctor Bashir is on leave from the station right now because I checked, so he's not on Starfleet's radar right now!” he hissed irritably. “He's been affected by his recent experiences, but I _wouldn't_ go so far as to classify him as being _mentally ill_ , Galen!”

“And _what_ medical school did you graduate from, Garak?” Galen spat. “You _know_ I'm right.”

Garak sighed softly, “Mentally ill individuals aren't trash to be thrown away...not this one, at least,” he replied in a tired voice, wanting desperately to help Julian without involvement from others.

“ _Garak, you want to help him because you care for him_ ,” Galen replied patiently, unable to stay mad at his friend’s obvious case of lovesickness. “ _Why don't you just admit it_?”

Garak, however, sighed sadly, “He doesn't care for me or for anything right now. I simply want to _help_ a sick friend,” he stated softly even though he wondered if he was simply lying to himself.

“ _Live in denial all you want, you fool_ ,” Galen snipped. “ _If you get overwhelmed, call me_.”

The call ended and Garak stared at the screen briefly before he exhaling irritably and leaned back in his chair.

“Oh, my _dear_ Julian,” Garak lamented in a whisper. “You're so broken and I hope...I _hope_ I can fix you.”


	3. Lessons

Three days later, Garak was tired of Julian doing nothing but being in bed all day as if he were incapable of doing anything else. Today was the day Julian was getting up and actually doing something meaningful whether he liked it or not, Garak determined, as he went into the dark guest room. He had gotten Julian’s runabout from the port and it, along with Julian’s bag were now taking up space in his gated yard, but Julian hadn’t even bothered to go and look at it.

“Julian, my dear doctor, it really _is_ time that you got out of bed,” Garak stated firmly. “Computer, lights.”

As the bedroom lights suddenly flashed on, Julian let out a pained cough and a whimper before putting a pillow over his face rather clumsily, using his good hand to hold it there. Garak marched over to the bed and snatched it away. Julian lay there, much too pale and much too scruffy. He was like a ghost.

“You've been _rotting away_ in bed for three days and I won't stand for it a moment longer!” Garak snapped in an upset voice, his expression upset. “Get up and put some presentable clothes on. I'm taking you for a walk!”

Julian frowned, “Why?” he asked in a groggy voice. “I'm supposed to...”

“You're my guest and supposed to be responsible enough to care for yourself, but you are clearly still in a suicidal frame of mind!” Garak snipped, his expression darkening. “There are clothes on the top of the dresser. Get up and get dressed!”

Julian shakily tried to pull himself into a sitting position using one arm, but he merely flailed miserably before going still again. Garak wanted to help, but he wanted Julian to ask for it and so he lingered beside the bed out of reach with the pillow still in his hands. Julian squinted at him expectantly.

“Am I on display?” Julian asked groggily, frowning. “I can't get up from bed with only one arm.”

Garak tossed the pillow on the floor and sighed, “And I'm not willing to help you if you don't want it,” he replied in a tired voice, his expression firm. “ _If_ you want help...ask.”

“Garak, _please_ ,” Julian pled weakly, a cough straining his voice. “I _need_ some help.”

Coughs continued to escape Julian’s body as Garak came closer and gently lifted him into a sitting position with very little effort. The Cardassian then sat on the bed and produced a bottle from his pocket that he himself used when the air made his throat too dry.

“ _This_ will help your dry throat,” Garak explained calmly, offering the bottle to him. “It’s some cold tea to help you acclimate to the heat. We’ll be going out of doors today and I don’t want you fainting. It’s _quite muggy_ outside.”

Nodding, Julian shakily managed to take the bottle with his good hand and drank it, his tired expression changing to one of relief as the liquid helped his cough slowly disappear. Once the bottle was empty, Garak took it back.

“It’s sweet,” Julian mused, a sigh in his voice as he frowned. “You said we’re going _outside_?”

Garak nodded, “Yes,” he replied calmly. “I’d like to show you something that might enlighten you quite a bit.”

Although the process took quite a bit of effort, Julian managed to get out of bed himself and slowly walk over to the clothes. He stared at the socks, boots, pants, collared shirt, and jacket in wonder; the items all looked so stylish, but he didn’t think he’d be able to dress himself with one arm.

“I…I need some help dressing,” Julian spoke in a subdued voice, sighing. “Please, Garak, I know I’m a _mess_ …”

Garak sighed patiently, “It’s about time you admitted it to yourself,” he replied softly. “Of _course_ I’ll help you.”

Being mindful of Julian’s healing injuries, Garak helped him change into the outdoor clothes, “The hood will keep you at a reasonable body temperature,” he said, covering Julian’s floofy hair with it. “Now that you’re ready, shall we go?”

Julian frowned, but nodded penitently. Garak promptly took him by his good arm and led him out.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

As they began down the street from Garak’s home, they were stared at by Cardassians who are going to and from the Central Imperial Plaza. Nobody, however, dared address them and Garak offered simple nods to the starers. Although Julian was confused and tired, the warm air began to rouse him and he found himself deeply curious as to why Garak had insisted on such an outing.

“Where are we going?” Julian finally allowed himself to ask in a quiet voice.

Garak sighed patiently, keeping Julian firmly on his arm, “Just through this gate to another section of the new capital city you haven’t seen yet,” he explained in a patient voice, giving Julian a kind look. “I thought it might interest you, as you seem to enjoy looking at interesting things.”

Julian nodded, frowning as they pass through the gate and emerge into an environment quite different than the Cardassian marketplace he saw before. The streets were in pieces, tents made by sheets, rags, or dirty blankets were lining every section of land between the streets, and there were sickly looking Cardassians everywhere. There were also a few Cardassian doctors going around with supplies, including Galen, but nobody noticed Garak and Julian enter the area.

“Is this where I’m going to stay now?” Julian asked weakly, his expression confused and sad. “Did you bring me here to leave me?”

Garak looked deeply taken aback, “And why do you think that, my dear doctor?” he asked softly.

“They’re a mess and living in a squalor of pure unhappiness,” Julian mused sadly. “They’re _me_.”

Garak let out a sigh, “Julian…” he began before realizing Julian was gone. “Julian?!”

Garak quickly spotted Julian not too far ahead of him, silently wandering through the streets littered with tents and sporting a confused, slightly disturbed expression on his face. Both intrigued and concerned with the doctor’s thoughts, Garak followed at a distance.

Julian, meanwhile, suddenly stopped and watches as a Cardassian doctor hand fed a sickly looking, thin Cardassian who was sitting on a cracked box and was communicating with hand gestures. As he approached Julian, Garak quickly noticed Kelas was the Cardassian doing the feeding.

“Kelas, is _this_ why I never see you around town anymore?” Garak asked in a surprised voice, eyeing his friend with a look of surprise on his face. “You work _here_?”

The Cardassian doctor, however, continued feeding until the one on the box motioned ‘stop.’ With a simple gesture, “Julian, this is Doctor Kelas Parmak,” Garak explained as they watched Kelas return the rest of the food to a storage container at his feet. “He works at the capital’s hospital…”

“Like Doctor Galen?” Julian asked in a curious, almost child-like voice, his expression tired.

Kelas rose and collected his container, “Oh, you’ve met Galen, have you?” his calm smile quickly morphing into a frown when he saw the condition Julian was in. “What on _earth_ happened to your friend, Elim?! He looks as if he’s been in a fight.”

“He was mugged in the street by tent city residents…three days ago,” Garak explained grimly.

Kelas’s eyes widened, “He should be in the hospital!” he replied worriedly. “Let me find Galen…”

“Doctor Galen hates my guts because I got mugged while drinking and he doesn’t think Garak should have me in his home,” Julian blurted out in a pained voice, cringing because he disgusted even himself with how much of a lost cause he seemed. “I’m sorry…I’m really not well inside…not happy.”

Kelas stopped in his tracks and studied carefully while Garak looked absolutely shocked at the revelation, “Does your illness have something to do with the way your left arm is so still?” Kelas asked in a curious, quiet voice. “Galen’s been telling us all that you’re an _angry mess of an addict_ , but I don’t see that.”

Julian flinched as if he’d been slapped, but he didn’t say anything. Garak scowed and takes Julian’s good arm.

“Well, Kelas, we have to go,” Garak stated calmly. “Do tell Galen to _shut his mouth_ or I’ll be telling Gul Marratt about his unprofessional behavior. My dear doctor…are you _crying_?”

Tears had indeed appeared in Julian’s eyes, as he was feeling very hurt at Galen’s words of truth, but he felt it easier to lie, “It’s the heat,” he sidestepped softly. “It’s drying my eyes out and I’m starting to hurt a little…”

“Oh, you’re a Human,” Kelas prattled anxiously, offering Julian a sympathetic smile. “Of course you’d find the heat here too much, especially since you’re not well. Elim, bring him to the field hospital for some water and let me see if I can’t give him something to help him stop shaking. I’m _surprised_ he hasn’t fallen over.”

Julian, however, simply lowered his head penitently, “Can you trust that I’ll get well?” he asked softly. “I certainly can’t.”

Garak looked horrified and speechless at Julian’s words, but he simply led him along after Dr. Parmak until they reached the area of the camp where a field hospital had been set up. Julian immediately found and sat on an empty cot, completely tired and emotionally shaken by his visit to this camp. Tears began to run down his pale face freely and he lowered his head so Garak or Dr. Parmak didn’t see him crumbling to pieces.

“Oh, he’s _fainting_!” Kelas exclaimed worriedly, frowning at Julian’s movements. “Elim, help me lie him down and move him into the tent. My goodness, you’re not having a very good day, are you?”

Julian sighed softly, “It’s not necessary,” he replied quietly. “Garak is trying to teach me a lesson. I _know_ it.”

“My dear doctor, I wanted to show you what happens to those who let their brilliant minds and passion for life go just because they can’t handle pain properly,” Garak explained gently as he sat on the cot next to Julian. “Many of these individuals lost everything in the Dominion War and they found peace in substance abuse, but their pain relief grew into an utter dependency that ultimately incapacitated them to what you now see.”

Kelas nodded in agreement with Garak’s words, “So _many_ brilliant minds were lost to whatever drugs and drink they could get from off-worlders who came to help with relief efforts,” he explained in a sorrowful voice. “Galen’s not been good to you simply because you’re an off-worlder and he’s _scared_ you’ll influence others for the worse. I can see, however, that Garak means a great deal…”

“I care for Garak a great _deal_ ,” Julian admitted with a sigh, knowing that his romantic feelings for the older man had never fully gone away. “He’s been very good to me over the years even though. I’m flawed, socially awkward, and a mess when it comes to getting people to love me as I am. I always _have_ to be perfect without flaws…even then, that’s not good enough…I’m not…”

A surprised expression crossed Garak’s face, “My _dear_ Julian, that’s simply not true,” he replied firmly. “You _are_ …you’ve just lost that belief.”

“I’m quite tired,” Julian stated, a wistful sigh in his voice as he struggled to stay awake. “I suppose this little field trip has done a bit of good… _maybe_.

Garak nodded, “Maybe when your arm has healed, you can donate some time and help yourself feel useful again?” he suggested gently. “For now, though, we should go. Kelas is _quite_ busy and you _should_ rest.”

“It…it was nice meeting you, Doctor Parmak,” Julian responded as he stood up. “I…I’m sorry…I…”

Kelas gave Julian a long, serious look, “Stop lying to yourself, firstly,” he spoke firmly, suddenly noticing that Galen was watching the entire scene unfold from afar. “It does you _no_ favors to try and hide your illness and act like everything’s all right with you when your voice and your body tell a different story. I need to go yell at Galen. Excuse me.”

“Well, my dear doctor, let’s go back to the house,” Garak said as he took Julian’s good arm. “I think the lesson has been quite effective and I’m sure you’ll have lots to think about while you rest.”

Julian said nothing, but looked very thoughtful as he let Garak lead him back to the estate. The walk was short and quiet and once they were inside the house, Julian found himself being settled on the living room couch.

“Would you like some red leaf tea?” Garak offered gently. “You were trembling on the walk back.”

Julian yawned, “I felt like I was staring in a living mirror,” he replied softly. “It was _terrifying_ to see…”

“Facing one’s own pain often is, doctor,” Garak replied thoughtfully, giving Julian a smile. “As you often told me in the past.”

A sad expression filled Julian’s face, “I’m _supposed_ to be strong,” he wept. “Better than my pain…but I _can’t_ be…I’ve _tried_.”

“You tried finding a relief to pain at the bottom of a bottle…a _lot_ of bottles,” Garak spoke grimly.

Julian sighed, “And by cutting so I could feel something…anything other than empty,” he admitted softly.

“I _did_ notice those scars,” Garak stated worriedly, frowning. “I assume your self-medicating is why you were sent on leave. I know you’re the Chief Medical Officer, but _really_ …you also need breaks sometimes.”

Julian nodded, “All I feel is sadness at seeing those helpless people today,” he mused. “I’m _becoming_ them.”

“Hardly,” Garak scoffed indignantly. “Dearest Julian, you _have_ to feel the sad. It’s a _start_ to other feelings.”

Julian nodded, but looked at the floor with a sad expression. Garak silently went over to his bookshelf and browsed briefly before he pulled a book with a Kardasi title and silver cover off the shelf. He brought it over to Julian and joined him on the couch. Julian looked up at him, deeply confused.

“You are _truly_ an inspiration to me, Doctor,” Garak explained as he showed Julian the book. “This book was one of the first things I created once my exile from Caradassia was over and I was allowed to come home. It’s about my experiences and my pain. You taught me that living with pain, accepting loss, and progressing beyond those things was the only way to live. You endured with me when I was in pain and I repaid you rather poorly.”

Julian’s eyes widened, “I…taught you all that?” he asked softly. “How did _I_ inspire you to write a _book_?”

“If you’d like, I can read it to you,” Garak offered softly. “After _all_ , I dedicated the work to _you_ …dear Julian.”

Julian nodded and became very quiet. He laid down on the couch to relax himself, resting his feet in Garak’s lap as Garak opened the book and began to read aloud.


	4. Opening Old Wounds

Two days after their visit to what Garak dubbed ‘Tent City,’ Julian woke up to a quiet house and also found that he was propped up by pillows in such a way that he could get up without help. 

Sighing, Julian got out of bed and changed from the pajamas into the clean clothes Garak had left him. It was then that he noticed the note, written in English, that was on the bedside table.

_ Julian, I was called to duty early, but I should be back by lunch. Your runabout and things are in my yard if you want anything to help you feel more comfortable. Stay out of trouble! - Garak _

__

Julian left the note where it was and he promptly went into the yard without stopping to worry about breakfast. He was pleased to see his runabout near the furthest wall and he was even happier to see the bag he had almost lost in the mugging. All of his possessions were still in it.

The first thing Julian fetched from his bag was Kukulaka and as he held him close, he suddenly noticed the photo album…the photo album that reminded him of Ricky and his situation. Ricky, as far as he knew, was safe on Earth with the O’Briens and being spoiled excessively, but he didn’t know for certain. He hadn’t written and Miles had been too busy with work to write.

“Computer, do I have messages?” Julian asked in a quiet voice, facing the comms system. 

A beeping sound filled the cabin, “ _Affirmative_ ,” the computer replied. “ _You have one message_.”

“Display message,” Julian replied, holding Kukulaka close as he sat at the console.

The message appeared on the screen and Julian smiled when he saw a photo of Ricky wearing some clothes Garak had made him. He looked happy and healthy and that was good.

_ Julian, _

__

_ Colonel Kira told me you were on leave from Deep Space Nine after you woke from your coma and showed me how to send this to your runabout. How are you doing? Ricky misses you… _

__

Julian sighed heavily as he continued to read the message. He missed Ricky dearly and had buried himself in work to keep himself from hurting, but then he had been thrown into a coma and had suffered a second heartbreak when Garak had visited the station, flirted, and then left.

“ _Incoming message from Deep Space Nine_ ,” the computer suddenly chirped. “ _Marked urgent_.”

Julian frowned, “Display message,” he replied, deeply concerned something was wrong.

_ From: Colonel Kira Nerys, Commanding Officer of Deep Space Nine _

_ To: Doctor Julian Bashir, Chief Medical Officer of Deep Space Nine _

_ I regret to inform you that Lieutenant Nog of the U.S.S. Monroe was killed in the line of duty when the ship hit a cloaked Jem’Hadar mine en route to the Cardassia system to assist in the restoration efforts. All hands and the ship were lost in the explosion. Starfleet has informed Grand Nagus Rom of Feringar and his wife, Leeta, of the tragedy. More information to come. _

“ _Nog_ ,” Julian whispered in a shaken voice, bowing his head as he touched the screen in grief.

The loss of Nog suddenly reminded Julian of why he had lost his mind; he hadn’t ever really come to terms with his ectopic pregnancy and miscarriage. He had told Ezri about it, but he hadn’t ever really healed from it. He also hadn’t healed from his time at the internment camp.

Sighing heavily, Julian looked down at his bear and winced as his entire body began to ache.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

It was nearly lunchtime when Garak returned home after spending his morning meeting with the newly elected Castellan about relocating the homeless population to where they couldn’t be a danger to anyone. A skimmer delivered him home because it had begun to rain during the meeting and Garak hated the rain, especially the cold that came with it and he didn’t like cold water at all. The house was quiet and Garak sighed as he heard thunder rumble outside.

“Julian?” Garak called out in a concerned voice. “Julian, I’d like to talk to you.”

Silence was the only reply Garak got and he first checked the spare room, but found it empty with Julian’s pajamas on the unmade bed. Sighing, Garak figured that Julian had made his way outside to the runabout and so he went outside even though the rain had begun falling.

To Garak’s shock, Julian was sitting in the runabout at the comms terminal with his focus on Kukulaka and a book “You and that teddy bear,” Garak said in a kind voice. “Can we talk, Julian?”

Julian, however, didn’t respond and Garak moved into the runabout, horrified to see that Julian’s eyes were closed, “Julian?” Garak asked softly. “Julian, are you all right?”

“ _No_ ,” Julian managed to reply in a faint voice as his eyes remained closed. “Oh, _God_ …”

Garak peered at the screen, which was flashing and proving hard on the eyes, and his face fell when he read the message, “ _Everything hurts_ …” Julian suddenly moaned in a faint voice.

Frowning, Garak put an arm around Julian, “What’s wrong?” he asked softly, leaning close.

“ _Everything_ ,” Julian replied weakly before he broke into quiet sobs. “I hurt so _bad_ …”

Garak quickly used the comms terminal to contact the local hospital and was surprised when Galen appeared on the screen, “Galen, something’s _wrong_ ,” he spoke anxiously. “Julian…”

Without warning, Julian suddenly toppled off the chair and went limp on the shuttle floor with the items still in his hands, “Beam us to the hospital _now_ ,” Garak commanded sharply.

Seeing that Garak was serious, Galen nodded and began to initiate a site to site transport.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Nearly an hour later, Julian was lying in a hospital bed unconscious and sporting a breathing mask and dripfeed in one hand. Garak was sitting beside the bed with Kukulaka and the photo album in his lap looking troubled while Galen stood at the foot of the bed, frowning as he ran some scans using technology that had been recently donated by the Federation.

“It looks like Doctor Bashir had an anxiety attack that triggered a shutdown,” Galen observed in a quiet voice. “His body’s taken some recent trauma and I’m concerned…”

Garak sighed tiredly, “Well, he was reading a message in his runabout and it must have triggered memories of something,” he spoke quietly. “A colleague of his, a Ferengi Lieutenant named Nog was killed in action recently. We both knew Nog from the station, but I thought he had stayed…”

“No, it’s _more_ than that,” Galen replied in a concerned voice, his eyes narrowing as he looked at the monitor. “He’s a Carrier and his records show that he underwent emergency surgery in 2375 after suffering a life-threatening miscarriage from an ectopic pregnancy at AR-558…”

Garak frowned, as he hadn’t known about that and hadn’t bothered asking because he had already distanced himself from Julian at that point, “The news of his colleague’s death could have triggered memories of that incident,” Galen reasoned softly, suddenly feeling very bad about his earlier misjudgments. “I…would you mind if I got other doctors involved, Elim?”

Instead of responding immediately, however, Garak was staring at Julian’s unconscious form, shocked speechless at the news Galen had just shared, “Elim?” Galen pressed gently.

“ _What_?” Garak replied in an annoyed voice, glaring at Galen. “Why on _earth_ are you asking _me_ about…?”

Galen sighed, “Your friend is unconscious and isn’t able to speak for himself right now,” he explained in a patient voice. “ _Someone_ needs to authorize me to give him better care.”

“What care are you giving him?” Garak asked in a confused voice. “He’s _not_ crazy, Galen.”

Galen shook his head, “I just need your permission to consult with other doctors about Doctor Bashir’s medical records so we can help him with the best of our medicine,” he replied.

“Go ahead,” Garak replied in a quiet voice, his eyes on Julian’s form once more. “Do it.”

Galen nodded and left the room. Garak silently arranged Kukulaka in the crook of Julian’s arm before placing the tablet-like book on the portable table. _So much_ had been left unsaid between them and he now found himself regretting listening to Richard Bashir in the first place. In his absence, Garak realized, Julian had suffered _so much_ and it had broken his heart and his sanity.

Swallowing hard, Garak gently took Julian’s hand in his own, “ _Forgive me_ for what I felt I had to do, Julian,” he spoke in a pained voice, lowering his head. “I didn’t _mean_ to abandon you.”

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Nearly two hours later, Garak lifted his head and found that Julian was awake. Julian was awake and silently looking at his tablet-like photo album with a despondent expression on his face. The mask was laying on the bed and Garak wanted to scold Julian for removing it, but didn’t.

The one thing that Garak noticed was that Julian was still holding on to his hand and it warmed Garak’s heart. In the midst of all the trauma, Julian hadn’t lost his feelings for him or was at least accepting of the affection that had been offered. Either way, Garak counted it as a small victory.

“Julian, it’s good to see you awake,” Garak spoke in a quiet voice. “How are you feeling?”

Julian sighed weakly, his eyes remaining on the album, “Tired and sad,” he responded softly.

Suddenly, Julian set the album back on the table, “I remember being in the runabout, reading about Ricky and then I got the message about Nog,” he spoke in a faint voice. “I _can’t_ remember a thing that happened after that, only that I felt cold and my body began to hurt _immensely_.”

“You complained you were hurting and then passed out,” Garak explained gently, slipping his mask into place so not to overwhelm Julian. “I had Galen beam us to the hospital. He ran a scan and he told me about what happened to you on AR-558. Julian, if I had _known_ …”

Julian’s eyes were suddenly upon him, “So _now you know_ ,” he replied softly. “You _know_ about the ectopic. I’m _not surprised_ Galen told you about that, though. He seems to dislike me…”

A thought suddenly occurred to Garak and a concerned expression filled his face, “Galen also mentioned that you gave birth, which I did know about, but where is Ricky?” he asked in a concerned voice. “Did Colonel Kira offer to babysit him while you came here for leave?”

Sadness suddenly filled Julian’s face, “He’s _gone_ ,” he replied in a somber voice. “To Earth.”

“Oh, _don’t_ tell me Starfleet actually let your parents have their way with that _ridiculous_ petition they filed after Ricky was born,” Garak grumbled, frowning. “I _still can’t believe_ …”

Julian sighed, “I had Ricky put in a _safe_ foster home with a stipulation that my parents weren’t allowed anywhere near him,” he admitted softly. “Captain Sisko was told by Starfleet that the petition would probably be granted after the war, but that I had the right to arrange a foster home for Ricky if I chose. I arranged things with Miles and Keiko and Ricky is in their care now.”

Garak looked taken aback, as he had never heard of a foster home before. On Cardassia, families actually looked after one another. The whole idea of Starfleet stepping in and proclaiming Julian an unfit enough parent that the man had been essentially forced to send Ricky to someone else’s care was _unsettling_. Julian was _perfectly capable_ of caring for a child; he just needed help and time to get through his inner pains first. Although it would take time to do, it could happen.

“I…I found out not long before the war ended that Ricky is like how I used to be before the engineering rebuilt me and I didn’t want my parents to have access to him,” Julian explained in a quiet, tired voice, sighing. “I _know_ I can’t care for him right now, but I want him to be _safe_ …”

Garak nodded, as he understood Julian’s revelation to mean that Ricky was also delayed and Julian did what he could to protect his son from the same evil that had harmed him, “And I want _you_ to be safe too, Julian,” he found himself admitting. “When you showed up on Cardassia…”

“I was a _drunk mess_ ,” Julian responded sadly, cutting Garak off. “I’m really just a _hopeless_ …”

Garak scoffed, “You are _not_ hopeless,” he replied firmly. “A _little messy_ , perhaps…”

A distressed expression crossed Julian’s face, “Elim, I _know_ we need to talk about _us_ , but I’m _not ready_ ,” he allowed himself to admit. “My heart is _hurting_ for so many reasons right now…”

“I _thought_ you were with Lieutenant Dax?” Garak asked, frowning. “You were when I left.”

Julian scoffed quietly, but was saved from having to speak by the arrival of Galen, who was carrying a small collection of medicines in a container, “I spoke with the chief of the hospital, who also happens to be the spouse of our newly elected Castellan, and it’s believed you’re in need of some medicine and counseling for post-partum depression and stress disorder…”

“It’s been a _while_ since Ricky was born,” Julian replied in a tone of disbelief. “The _symptoms_ …”

Galen, however, looked very patient, “You _also_ lost a child not long before the war ended and it can take a while for that type of depression to develop even if you yourself don’t realize you have it,” he explained calmly. “I’ve been a doctor for many, many years and even on Cardassia, that health issue very much exists. Do you _really think_ you being genetically engineered means you’re _immune_ to mental health issues, Doctor Bashir? _Surely_ , you’re not _that_ arrogant.”

“So…what happens now?” Julian asked in a penitent voice, realizing Galen had a point.

Galen sighed, “I give you some medicine to help you deal with the medical side of your condition and then when I can find someone who is in a position to be responsible for you during your recovery, I can release you,” he explained calmly. “I know you were treated at Starbase 371 for the miscarriage and ectopic, but was there any follow-up work done at Deep Space Nine?”

“No,” Julian admitted tiredly. “Everything was so busy when I got back that there wasn’t…”

Garak suddenly felt very ashamed, but didn’t say anything because he was still very scared of telling Julian about Richard Bashir’s nasty letters. Julian sighed sleepily; he was _so tired_.

“Okay, I’m going to hold off on the medicine and do a more detailed scan of everything to make sure you’re really all right,” Galen spoke calmly, setting the medicine on the table. “All right?”

Nodding, Julian closed his eyes, “I _need_ to _sleep_ ,” he replied softly. “I’m _so incredibly sleepy_.”

“I don’t _need_ you awake for it,” Galen reassured him. “Perhaps Elim can get you something to eat because I want to get you eating before you leave. Could you go get him some food, Elim?”

Garak nodded and impulsively kissed Julian’s knuckles before dropping his hand and getting to his feet, “The market is close by, so I’ll get something from there,” he stated. “I’ll be back.”

Galen looked amused at the kiss, but Garak quickly left the room before he had to discuss it.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

_ What was I doing kissing Julian’s hand like that when he’s so helpless, broken, and vulnerable right now?  _ Garak thought to himself, his expression troubled as he silently wandered the marketplace looking for something he thought Julian would enjoy eating. _I was out of line._

Sighing irritably, Garak bought some cold red leaf tea and some boxed gelat from one of the stalls. He had never stopped loving Julian even though he had outright broken the man’s heart at Richard Bashir’s request. The feelings had never faded on his end, but Julian was now very unwell and vulnerable. What kind of message would a kiss to the knuckles send him?

“Elim!”

Garak turned from the stall to see Kelas coming into the market from the Tent City, “Elim, the Castellan and his wife are helping build a village for the street people so they can have a sense of normalcy in their lives again,” Kelas spoke in an enthusiastic voice, smiling at him. “Your report on how Doctor Bashir was attacked made the Castellan decide to allocate land just north of the city to those who lost their homes. He and his wife will be giving a speech this afternoon…”

“I’m afraid I will not be in attendance,” Garak spoke in a quiet voice, sighing. “I need to finish my shopping and get back to the hospital. Galen wants me to make sure Julian eats…”

Kelas frowned, “Julian?” he asked quietly. “You sent him to the _hospital_? Was he too much…?”

“I may be too much for him,” Garak replied in a subdued voice. “I _kissed his hand_ , Kelas. I _took advantage_ of Julian when he was sick and vulnerable and in grief. What kind of _monster_ am I?”

Kelas looked thoughtful, “You _still love_ him, Elim,” he observed. “There’s _no shame_ in that.”

“We’re both _too broken_ for that,” Garak snipped, his expression sad. “I know that…”

Kelas sighed thoughtfully, “Elim, have you thought about taking advantage of the mental health initiative that the Castellan’s wife has been working on setting up?” he asked softly, offering his friend a smile. “I remember you telling me that you had a therapist on Deep Space Nine…”

“I _did not_ have a therapist,” Garak snipped, scowling. “I merely spoke to the counselor once or twice during my time there. Besides, I _do not_ have _any_ spare time to be seeing a counselor now.”

Kelas nodded, although his expression was concerned, “I should get back,” Garak spoke in a guarded voice, sighing. “I don’t wish to leave Julian with Galen for any longer than necessary.”

Before Kelas could protest, Garak speedwalked out of the market with his purchases.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

“…Nerys, I need to extend my leave,” Garak heard a quiet, penitent voice say as he strolled down the hospital corridor to Julian’s hospital room. “Cardassia could use my skills…”

A scoff filled the room, “ _Julian, I already got an earful from Starfleet for sending you to Cardassia with the supplies in the first place because you’re only supposed to serve on the station_ ,” Kira’s voice filled the air. “ _I know why you needed to go, but they don’t_ …”

“Nerys, Doctor Galen’s diagnosed me with post-partum depression and I’m still recovering from injuries I got after being mugged by some of the homeless population,” Julian’s voice responded in quiet, subdued tone. “By the way, do you know anything more about what happened to Nog?”

Garak paused to listen, “… _Starfleet gave control of Nog’s memorial over to Grand Nagus Rom, but the rest is classified_ ,” Kira’s voice replied. “ _They say that it was a cloaked mine that was undetected and that’s all they’re saying. Look, Julian, I’ll do what I can to get you more time on Cardassia so you can get better, but they might use your insubordination as an excuse to extend the time Ricky is in foster care for. I know you need time, Julian, but you may not have it.”_

As Garak wandered into the room, the call ended and Julian sighed heavily, “I _have_ to get it together… _somehow,_ ” Julian murmured softly, his expression sad. “I _don’t know_ if I can…”

“Did Galen step out while I was gone?” Garak asked, causing Julian to look at him mournfully.

Julian sighed, “Galen did his scan and he gave me some medicine before going off to study the results in quiet,” he replied softly. “He mentioned _abnormalities_ and how I’d need someone to look after me if I needed more than just help for depression. I decided to call Nerys…”

“Yes, I overheard that,” Garak replied calmly, showing the boxes. “I brought you a snack.”

Nodding, Julian returned to bed using his drip-feed pole to help him walk steadily, “Julian, you know you can stay with me however long you need to,” Garak spoke calmly, sitting beside him on the bed and offering him the container. “I brought you some cold tea and some gelat.”

“Will you share it with me?” Julian asked quietly, gazing at the food wistfully. “Please?”

Garak nodded and opened the containers and let Julian partake of the gelat and tea first. Julian, however, only ate a tiny bit of gelat and drank a quarter of the tea before surrendering it back to him, “I don’t have much of an appetite, unfortunately,” Julian explained quietly. “My body’s still really weak…”

“That’s all right,” Garak responded as he finished off the tea and gelat himself. “Don’t apologize.”

Julian exhaled softly before yawning, “Did you happen to bring a book with you, Garak?” he asked softly.

“No, but I can get one,” Garak replied reassuringly. “This hospital does have a collection of them.”

Instead of responding, Julian promptly got back in bed and laid down, “You _kissed my hand_ before you left,” he spoke in a tired voice, his expression nervous as he gazed up at Garak. “What did it mean?”

“ _Julian_ , neither of us are in the right frame of mind to have that conversation at this moment,” Garak replied in a gentle, but firm voice as he sighed. “We need to get you healthy first _before_ we can talk…”

Just then, Galen came back into the room holding a tablet-like chart and he looked surprised at the two sitting together on the bed, “Doctor Bashir, were you ever experimented on outside of Adigeon Prime and your time at the internment camp?” he asked in a concerned voice. “The results I got are alarming…”

“Yes, I was kidnapped, put through exploratory surgery, and dosed with chemicals by Doctor Loews and other Augments who visited Deep Space Nine in the past,” Julian replied in a concerned voice, frowning.

Galen nodded and showed him the chart, “The chemicals not only triggered an ectopic in you, but they also created tumors in various parts of your body that may explain why your mental and physical health has been shaky since before the war ended,” he explained quietly. “Did previous scans not detect this?”

“Sarina was trying to make me a surrogate, she said, but it seems all she’s really done is make me very sick,” Julian mused in a quiet, somber voice, suddenly feeling cold and sad. “Is…is this condition fatal?”

Galen sighed, “No, but you will _definitely_ need surgery as soon as I can free up the best medical help Cardassia can offer you,” he replied quietly. “In the meantime, I want to find you a place to rest…”

“Julian is _my_ guest and I will continue to host him as I have been doing,” Garak spoke firmly, his expression daring Galen to argue with him. “I have or can get _whatever_ he needs to be comfortable.”

Nodding, Galen looked relieved, “I’ll release him to you once he’s stable, then,” he said calmly.

Garak looked down at Julian calmly, “And I will take care of you, my dear,” he replied gently, tenderly stroking Julian’s cheek simply because he couldn’t help himself. “I promise.”

“Can you forgive me?” Julian asked in a weak voice. “For whatever I did to deserve this?”

Galen looked appalled, but Garak exhaled softly and removed his hand from Julian’s cheek, “I won’t forgive you because you did _nothing_ to deserve what’s happened to you,” he replied softly.

“Please don’t give up on me, Elim,” Julian spoke in a pained voice. “Patience has its rewards.”

Galen silently left the room, “I _need to sleep_ ,” Julian mumbled, closing his eyes. “ _So much_.”

Garak sighed as he watched Julian’s hand draw Kukulaka close to his body before extending back out again. It was almost as if Julian was _reaching out for help_ … _reaching out for his help_.

“Oh, _my Julian_ ,” Garak spoke softly, taking hold of Julian’s outstretched hand. “I _still_ care.”

Julian, however, remained asleep and so Garak gently peppered his Human hand with soft kisses.


	5. Planting Dangerous Roots

“… _How could you go behind our backs and give your son over to people you served on that filthy station with over your own parents?_!” Garak heard an angry voice fill the air as he stepped outside in search of Julian not long after he had been released from hospital to await surgery.

Garak’s eyes narrowed, but he remained quiet upon approaching the shuttle and he saw Julian sitting at the comms terminal in simple pajamas and slippers. His expression was one of defeat and sorrow as he stared at the screen where Richard Bashir was present, glaring at him.

“ _We knew you were going to lose custody after the war because you barely know how to take care of yourself, but we expected that we would at least have our grandson_!” Richard snapped in an upset voice. “ _Now we find out that he’s with some strange foster family in San Francisco!”_

Julian said nothing, but instead lowered his head because he didn’t know how to explain that Ricky had his learning disability and he didn’t want history repeated. “ _YOU!_ ” Richard Bashir suddenly shouted, spotting Garak. “ _I thought I convinced you to walk away from Julian while you were both still on the station! Is he the reason you’re not back on Earth with us, Jules?!”_

A confused expression filled Julian’s face and he looked at Garak questioningly, but Garak’s glare was focused on Richard, “ _I told you quite clearly that I didn’t want Jules to be a whore to some Cardassian tailor who was involved in God only knows what!”_ Richard screeched, his expression filled with rage. “ _Were my letters not enough for you, you disgusting castoff?!”_

Swearing loudly, Julian ended the call, got up, and marched from the shuttle in such a stony silence that Garak feared the man might end up having a stroke. Garak stopped short when he suddenly noticed Julian standing in the middle of the yard, silently hugging himself. His arm was well enough to be without the sling, but Julian was _far_ from being completely well.

Sighing, Julian went indoors and shut himself in the guest room as Garak came inside. A few moments later, Julian emerged in Cardassian summer clothing complete with boots.

“Where’s a safe place where people can walk to clear their heads?” Julian asked softly, his expression subdued as he gazed at Garak. “I just need a few moments to clear my head.”

Garak looked concerned, “My dear doctor, a mere trip outside to your runabout has left you looking as if you’ve run a marathon,” he replied in a concerned voice. “You _should_ rest.”

“I only went out there to see if there were any messages from the station and in the middle of that, my father called,” Julian spoke in a pained voice, wincing as pain shot through his body.

Garak acted quickly and gently took hold of Julian, not letting go until he was resting on the couch with his feet up with a handmade pillow under him, “Starfleet’s _not_ happy with me,” Julian managed to say in a quiet voice, closing his eyes as he allowed his body to relax.

“Julian, you’re _not_ well,” Garak pressed gently. “You should _rest_ before you do anything…”

A faint snore suddenly filled the room, indicating that Julian had fallen asleep regardless of what his mind wanted to do. Garak quickly retrieved a blanket and Kukulaka from the spare room, as Julian had brought his bag inside after coming back from the hospital to wait for his surgery.

Once Julian was comfortable, Garak went inside the kitchen and began taking inventory of what the house had and what it needed. When Julian woke and if he felt better, they would take a short walk to the market for supplies. They could also sit in the plaza and enjoy a meal together.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

It was nearly noon by the time Julian woke and by then, Garak had taken to checking his things for what was in need of repair with a needle and thread. As Julian opened his eyes, he was greeted to the sight of Garak sitting in a chair, sewing patches on a familiar pair of pants.

“Are those my pajama pants?” Julian asked in a groggy voice, eyeing Garak sleepily.

Garak set the work aside and got up, “I thought I’d mend your clothes to make life a little easier for you,” he spoke in a calm voice. “If you’re feeling up to it, I thought we might take a walk to the market for some supplies. I did some inventorying while you slept and I need some things.”

Julian sighed as he sat up, “You mean you’re not tired of me?” he asked in a sleepy voice.

“ _Never_ , my dear,” Garak responded calmly. “Now, are you feeling up to that walk?”

Nodding, Julian slowly got up and smoothed his hair down, “Yes,” he replied quietly.

Garak nodded and walked alongside Julian as they left the house and walked down the dirt road to the nearby market. Julian kept his hands in the pockets of his jacket and stared straight ahead sporting a troubled expression on his face, making Garak wonder if his father’s call was the only distressing communication Julian had received that day. Julian _had_ mentioned Starfleet…

Sounds associated with the Kardasi language suddenly filled Garak’s ears as they reached the Central Plaza and marketplace. Julian silently made his way over to a tent-like booth that was selling seasonal clothing and footwear. He began looking at work boots and sandals and Garak watched him for a few moments before sighing; something was _definitely_ on Julian’s mind.

“Would you like to eat lunch before we shop?” Garak asked kindly. “Food may lift your spirits.”

Julian hesitated briefly before nodding and slipping out of the stall, saying nothing as Garak took the lead in heading to the nearby outdoor café. Garak gestured to a table in the shade and Julian sat, unsure of why Garak was suddenly being so nice, “What would you like?” Garak asked.

“Maybe I should _forget_ the surgery,” Julian mused softly, his expression one of defeat. “I received a message from Starfleet that was relayed from Deep Space Nine. I’m going to be charged with desertion and dereliction of duty if I don’t get back. My father called after Starfleet contacted him demanding to know where I was since I wasn’t currently on Deep Space Nine. Nerys had declared me on leave, but I guess that was unauthorized because of my…status.”

Garak frowned, “Doctor, you _need_ the surgery or you’re not going to get well,” he replied in a concerned voice as he ordered two teas with hand signals and joined Julian at the table. “I’m sure it will only be a matter of days before the hospital will be able to help you with surgery.”

“…Really, Galenna, do you always have to try and _bribe_ me with food?” Galen’s voice suddenly filled the Plaza. “Have you ever just thought about asking me out for an outing? Such _secrecy_ …”

Galen suddenly trailed off as he noticed Galen come into the café area accompanied by a youthful looking woman sporting dark hair and a Security uniform. They were holding hands and Galen seemed unusually calm, “Galen, isn’t that Elim Garak?” the woman suddenly asked.

Garak immediately tensed as Galen led the woman over to their table, “Minister Galenna, it’s nice to see you out of the office,” Garak spoke calmly, nodding at her. “This is…”

“Julian Bashir, ma’am,” Julian replied in a false polite voice. “I’m Garak’s…”

Galenna looked amused, “Oh, _you’re_ the Julian Bashir that Legate Garak has prattled on about since he came home,” she replied in a pleased voice, eyeing Julian with a look of approval. 

Julian paled and Garak scowled, “I _do not prattle_ , Galenna,” Garak replied irritably.

Just then, a staffer came over to the table with two teas and set them down in front of Julian and Garak, “Do you want anything to eat, Julian?” Garak asked, ignoring Galen and Galenna.

“ _No_ , the tea will be fine,” Julian replied as he busied himself drinking it. “Thank you.”

Galen’s eyes narrowed in concern, but he led Galenna off to another table, “I’m not the only one who’s good at lying, I see,” Garak observed softly, eyeing Julian. “Is it your stomach?”

“It’s a bit sore,” Julian admitted softly. “But you _said_ you _needed_ supplies…I can put up with it.”

Garak scoffed, “I could have come by myself while you rested,” he replied in a worried voice.

“Elim, please, _don’t_ get attached to me,” Julian spoke quietly. “I’ve already hurt you enough.”

Garak frowned, “You are _not_ responsible for your father’s words and I _would have stayed_ by your side had I known the whole story,” he argued, sipping his tea. “I _promise_ you that.”

Julian, however, remained quiet and Garak finished his tea first, “Rest here, dear, and I will go get the supplies myself,” Garak said as he stood. “If you _need anything_ …”

Garak quickly walked off to get what he needed and Julian sighed before closing his eyes to rest because the heat was comfortable enough to. Julian was so relaxed that he didn’t see Kelas and former translator, Jhanathan Dramok, come into the café area and approach him quietly.

“Doctor Bashir, hello!” Kelas spoke warmly, prompting Julian to wake. “How are you?”

Julian sighed quietly, “Just enjoying some tea while Elim shops,” he replied in a false pleasantry, recognizing Jhanathan. “I…I remember you, Mister Dramok. You were at the starbase…”

“Yes, I came home after the war,” Jhanathan replied pleasantly, nodding. “Are you all right?”

Julian shook his head, but didn’t elaborate because he didn’t feel like talking. His mind was on his father’s interactions with Garak, missing his son, and Starfleet’s threats and he just wanted to be alone with his thoughts, but didn’t know how to send the two away without being rude.

“Did you get some lunch, Julian?” Kelas asked warmly. “There’s a nice soup on the menu.”

Julian looked down at his teacup, suddenly unwilling to engage in conversation any further because it might make him want to be well and he didn’t deserve happiness or health. He needed to find the strength to leave so he could get himself together enough to get his son back.

Swallowing hard, Julian rose and left the café in silence with his arms wrapped around himself as if it would ease his pains. Jhanathan looked at Kelas, “Go get some soup,” he spoke softly.

Without waiting for a response, Jhanathan left the café and quickly spotted Julian leaning against a wall with a hand on his abdomen, silently watching Elim shop nearby, “Elim’s _so beautiful_ , isn’t he?” Julian mused softly, his expression full of grief, “I loved him and he loved us at one time. I’m _so broken_ now…”

“Doctor Bashir, please, you should _eat_ ,” Jhanathan spoke softly, deciding to use a tone he used to calm scared children during his weekly visits to the orphanage. “Elim will _worry_ if you don’t.”

A child-like, penitent expression suddenly crossed Julian’s face as he looked at Jhanathan, “He’s been _so good_ to me, but he’s _tired_ ,” Julian spoke tiredly. “I don’t want him to hurt anymore.”

Jhanathan took advantage of Julian’s tiredness and gently guided him back to the café before Garak spotted them. Kelas was waiting for them at the table with a bowl of hot soup and a steaming mug, “You must eat and be strong,” Kelas spoke soothingly, gently hugging him.

Swallowing hard, Julian quietly began to eat without really noticing that Kelas had dragged Jhanathan away, “Castellan, I _didn’t expect_ you two to meet so _quickly_ ,” Kelas spoke in a worried voice, gazing at Jhanathan. “Julian…he miscarried a child last year and Starfleet made him send an older one to a foster home on Earth. He’s been through a lot of _terrible_ things…”

Castellan Jhanathan Dramok nodded, his gaze on Julian as he ate alone, “He’s _really not_ the trouble Starfleet’s making him out to be,” he reasoned simply. “He’s _ill_ and _broken_ and _not_ in any state to be going back to duty even if they demand it. Are he and Elim a couple?”

Before Kelas, who wasn’t entirely sure what Julian and Elim were, could reply, Garak returned with a few bags in hand. He didn’t notice Kelas and Jhanathan as he joined Julian at the table.

Garak smiled at Julian eating, “I’m _glad_ you’re eating, my dear,” he spoke warmly. “How is it?”

Kelas and Jhanathan watched as Elim gently took hold of Julian’s free hand as he talked gently with him, “We _should_ leave them to visit in peace,” Jhanathan spoke. “I’ve seen what I need to.”

Nodding, Kelas followed Jhanathan from the cafe while Julian and Elim continued to visit.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Instead of heading home after Julian was done eating, Garak decided to take Julian down the street to the recently restored Cardassian sauna. It wasn’t glamorous by any means, but Garak felt that Julian could use some rest and the warmth of the stones would help with his pain.

“What are we doing here, Elim?” Julian asked as they entered the sauna. “Are you tired?”

Garak smirked as he quickly retrieved a large blanket from a rack where several towels and blankets hung, “No, but you’re in pain and being too stubborn to admit it,” he replied in a slightly annoyed voice, sighing at him. “You’re going to relax even if I have to make you.”

Julian looked surprised, but didn’t protest when Elim put a blanket on a stone and patted it, “Lie down and relax,” Garak instructed as he climbed on a nearby stone. “You’ll enjoy it.”

Exhaustion filled Julian’s body as he laid atop the blanket that covered the hot stone and immediately felt relief course through him. He closed his eyes and sighed weakly. Garak lazed on his stone, smiling while he watched Julian sleep and eventually curl into a ball on his side.

Footsteps suddenly echoed through the air and Garak frowned when he saw Kelas wander into the sauna, “Oh, Elim, I had no idea you and Julian would be here,” Kelas whispered gently.

Garak frowned and sat up as Kelas approached him, “The hospital asked me to pass along a message,” Kelas spoke in a quiet voice. “They can fit Julian in for surgery tomorrow.”

“So _soon_?” Garak replied incredulously, eyeing Kelas suspiciously. “What did you do?”

Kelas sighed, “The Castellan _personally_ requested that Doctor Bashir be made a priority and he _personally_ contacted the head of the hospital,” he explained softly. “You know how _busy_ the Castellan is, Elim, so he must see some value in Doctor Bashir to make such requests.”

Garak nodded and quickly got up, “Julian, good news,” he spoke in a soft voice. “Julian?”

Incoherent mumbling filled the air as Julian continued to snooze and so Garak gently touched his hand, “… _Garak_ ,” Julian groaned sleepily, not opening his eyes. “I’m _so_ comfortable here.”

“I’ve got a bit of good news for you, my dear,” Garak replied softly. “Will you please wake up?”

Julian groaned, but opened his eyes, “Kelas told just me that the hospital can do your surgery _tomorrow_ ,” Garak explained in a calm voice. “We need to go so you can get ready.”

Silence filled the sauna as Julian slowly sat up and looked at Kelas, “How risky is it?” he asked in a groggy voice, his expression worried. “Is…is there a chance I could die during it?”

“ _My God_ , Julian, what a thing to say!” Garak exclaimed, giving Julian a worried look.

Kelas, however, looked thoughtful, “Galen would have that information,” he replied softly. “Is there any reason in particular you want to know? Something you want to cross off a bucket list?”

A sad expression crossed Julian’s face, “I just want to make sure Ricky doesn’t spend his life without status if I don’t survive,” he explained quietly. “If I make Elim my beneficiary, Ricky will be able to come to Cardassia and possibly gain a citizenship. He doesn’t have one.”

“He’s your _son,_ so he should _automatically_ …” Garak began, deeply confused.

Julian sighed, “And I’m _illegal_ ,” he interrupted softly, sighing. “I’m either supposed to be on Deep Space Nine or on Earth as a civilian and that’s one of the things my father was yelling at me about this morning. I wasn’t _supposed_ to stay beyond delivery, but I was _too sick_ to leave.”

Garak looked surprised, “And you think _I_ would be the best choice if you were not able to raise Ricky?” he asked in a confused voice, eyeing Julian warily. “What about the O’Briens?”

“It’s a _temporary_ arrangement,” Julian replied quietly. “Look, Elim, if you _don’t want to_ …”

Garak sighed, “On Cardassia, that kind of arrangement can only be established between those who are _enjoined_ ,” he explained quietly. “That law was put into place by the Castellan because he wants people to put themselves into family units to help revitalize the population…”

“I’d pop down on one knee if it wouldn’t hurt,” Julian cut him off softly. “Elim, _please_ …”

Kelas’s eyes widened in shock, but Garak found himself trembling, “You’re _serious_?” Garak asked in a confused voice, stunned that Julian would propose such a thing. “You want to…?”

“I _never_ stopped caring, Elim,” Julian replied in a quiet voice. “ _Surely_ …you can feel that.”

Garak sighed and Julian suddenly retreated to the stone and sat, both in pain and suddenly feeling foolish for daring to be open, “You misread me,” Garak said, quickly joining Julian on the stone. “I’m _honored_ that you think me a suitable second parent and enjoinment partner, but I don’t want you to suddenly become well and have regrets about such a sacred commitment.”

“There wouldn’t be,” Julian replied softly. “I only regret that we didn’t do it sooner.”

Garak gasped as Julian leaned against him, “We _don’t need_ any party,” Julian whispered.

A moment passed and Garak finally nodded, “We’ll have to go to the government office to apply for an enjoinment license,” he spoke quietly. “Are you going to be able to walk there?”

“I can get an official to come to your home with the proper paperwork, Elim,” Kelas volunteered in a kind voice, extremely eager to be of help. “Take Julian home and help him take it easy.”

Nodding, Garak helped Julian stand and as they left the sauna together, Kelas smiled after them.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

“You should _really_ plant a garden back here, Elim” Julian mused softly as he and Garak sat on a bench in the massive backyard of Garak’s home and looked around at the landscape of dirt and grass. “It’s such a lovely yard and you could build some flowerboxes out of cement blocks…”

Garak, who had walked Julian back to the house and was now sitting in the yard with him so they could both enjoy the sun, looked amused as he worked on a personal PADD that he had collected whilst walking through the house, “Oh, I _should_ , should I?” he replied, smirking.

“You used to be a gardener on Romulus and since you’ve been taking such good care of _me_ , I believe you can help _any_ living thing out there grow into something wonderful,” Julian spoke in a quiet, thoughtful voice as he gazed at the older Cardassian. “What are you doing on that?”

Garak sighed, “I hacked into your Federation file and you’ve really got yourself in a pickle, haven’t you?” he replied in a slightly amused voice. “I _needed_ access to the information so that I can work on getting you a license to practice medicine and citizenship here if you want to stay.”

“We’re going to be _enjoined_ , Elim,” Julian stated softly, frowning. “Why _wouldn’t_ I stay?”

Garak frowned, “Your _son_ , for one,” he replied firmly. “He’s not here. He’s on Earth.”

“This enjoinment is not just going to be in name, Elim,” Julian explained in a quiet, slightly upset voice, frowning. “I’m _too sick_ to go to Earth. Did you think I’d just marry you and run?”

Garak didn’t say anything and Julian nodded, “I understand and I’m not angry you thought that, but I am serious about wanting to be happy with you,” Julian spoke quietly. “Understand that.”

A beep suddenly filled the air and Garak froze, “Ah, the Castellan wants to _personally_ handle the enjoinment paperwork and wants to meet with us tomorrow at dawn about it,” he replied in a confused, almost frightened voice. “He also wants to come and perform the ceremony before your surgery. I _don’t know how_ you suddenly managed to get the Castellan so interested in you.”

“I don’t even _know_ the Castellan, but it’s _you_ I’m interested in,” Julian replied softly as he suddenly rose and stretched briefly before massaging his abdomen. “I’m getting a bit tired.”

Garak nodded, pocketing the PADD before he stood, “I’ll make us some dinner, then,” he said in a calming voice, putting his arm around Julian to lead him inside. “Would soup suffice?”

Nodding, Julian allowed Garak to lead him into the house. Garak, however, had told a small lie; he had been actually messaging Chief O’Brien about information on procedures when it came to non-Federation citizens taking partial guardianship of Ricky. He had also mentioned that Julian had proposed to him at the sauna and _fully expected_ the Chief to laugh and not provide any help at all.

“Would you be very upset if I rested on your couch while you made the soup?” Julian suddenly asked in a quiet, slightly pained tone as they stood in the kitchen. “I want to cuddle with Kukulaka.”

An amused smirk filled Julian’s face, “ _Not in the least_ , my dear,” Garak replied gently. “Go on.”

Julian nodded and retreated to the couch where his blanket and bear were still at. Instead of sleeping, however, he laid down and pulled the tablet from his pocket that contained his photos of Ricky. He had photos of himself with Ricky and others with Ricky, including Garak, and they were happy ones.

A button on the tablet suddenly flashed, indicating that a message was coming in. Julian pressed it.

_ Doctor Bashir, I’m sending this message on an encrypted channel so that nobody, especially Starfleet, will find out that I sent it. Admiral Ross actually came to Deep Space Nine to talk to Colonel Kira about your absence and about possibly getting a Starfleet commanding officer to be in charge of the station. They had a lot of arguments and Admiral Ross also made a lot of private calls from holosuites, which I of course monitored to make sure he didn’t go over the time he paid for. Anyway, he said some disturbing things about you, Luther Sloan, and Sarina Douglas… - Quark _

__

The message had cut off, Julian realized, frowning as he re-read it. Quark must have been detected using an illegal channel and had to stop. His enjoinment and surgery were on the horizon, Julian realized, but Quark’s message definitely served as a warning that his problems were _far_ from over.


	6. Defying Expectations

** San Francisco, California **

“Miles?”

Miles O’Brien was awake, but not for any reason that was good. He and his family had been spending the last several months living in an apartment on Starfleet property at Command’s insistence while they searched for a place of their own. The arrangement had made all of them feel uneasy, but Miles had accepted it. Lately, however, the feelings of unease had grown.

Keiko O’Brien approached the window where her husband was standing with a mug of raktajino in hand, silently looking out the window at the paths below. The same man, one who had taken to following Miles to and from his outings recently, was lingering on the grass near the complex.

“That same attaché of Admiral Ross’s is hanging around again,” Miles observed softly. 

Keiko frowned, “Does it have anything to do with the message Garak sent you?” she asked in a concerned voice, watching as the attaché lingered inconspicuously as possible.

Miles shook his head, “I think it has to do with what Julian and I did to Luther Sloan to save Odo right before the war ended,” he replied worriedly. “It has to be that. Between the apartment and having such tight surveillance on me all of the time, I think Admiral Ross _knows_ I helped…”

Sighing heavily, Miles turned away from the window, “I already know that Julian’s in trouble with Starfleet cause he wasn’t authorized to stay on Cardassia after delivering the supplies from Deep Space Nine,” he mused solemnly. “Garak’s message was _odd_ , though…”

A beep suddenly filled the room and Miles frowned as Keiko went over to the comms terminal, “Captain Picard, how are you?” Keiko asked as Picard suddenly appeared on the screen.

“ _I’m quite well, Keiko, and I’m happy to tell you that Starfleet approved your proposal to transplant some botany projects from various planets and donate them to Cardassia as part of the relief efforts_ ,” Captain Picard spoke in a kind voice. “ _They want you to oversee it from the Enterprise and you’re welcome to bring Chief O’Brien and your children with you_ …”

Miles frowned, “We’re fostering a child too, Captain,” he replied quietly. “We might have to…”

Captain Picard suddenly looked concerned, “ _Oh, so Doctor Bashir being forced to surrender his son at Starfleet’s order wasn’t a rumor_?” he asked worriedly. “ _That’s very concerning to hear. At any rate, you are welcome to bring Doctor Bashir’s son with you on the Enterprise if you wish.”_

“I’ll have to get leave granted from the Academy,” Miles began, nervous about leaving.

Captain Picard sighed, “ _It’s all been arranged_ ,” he replied. “ _Admiral Grayson’s handled it_.”

“ _Admiral_ Grayson?” Miles replied in a confused voice. “Is she related to Captain Grayson?”

Captain Picard nodded, “ _The Spokane took heavy damage in the final battle and lost a lot of crew, but Captain Grayson survived to make it home_ ,” he explained. “ _I believe she was promoted shortly after the war ended. She’s involved in the Cardassia Restorative Efforts quite heavily_ …”

“When do we leave?” Keiko asked in a quiet voice. “And who are we coordinating with?”

Captain Picard smiled, “ _I believe the Castellan of Cardassia asked Legate Elim Garak to oversee this project because he used to be a gardener on Romulus_ ,” he explained. “ _The Enterprise is set to visit Cardassia to deliver relief supplies and whatever aid they require. While we’re there, Keiko, you’ll tour with Elim to see what the planet needs in way of plants. We leave tomorrow_.”

“Well, we’d better get things packed and get Molly, Kirayoshi, and Ricky ready,” Miles said as the call cut out. “Did you want to wake them or do you want me to help you wake them?”

Keiko frowned, “Ricky’s been awake for hours and he’s in the playroom with simple toys,” she replied in a concerned voice. “He eats when he’s instructed, but he has a real issue with talking and sleep. I think he’s reacting to not having Julian around, but I don’t know for sure.”

“At any rate, Julian will be happy to see his son,” Miles mused as he moved off to pack.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

It was early on Cardassia, but Julian and Garak were wide awake because they were expecting a visit from the Castellan about their marriage license. After the Castellan’s visit, Julian was due at the hospital for surgery, so the two had carefully packed a bag the night before while talking.

For the moment, though, the two were sitting on the couch together. Julian was lying down with a pillow behind his back, silently listening and resting while Elim read a tablet novel aloud. The bag they had packed was sitting on the table and Julian’s eyes would occasionally wander to it.

“Julian, the surgery will go fine,” Garak said, looking up from the novel. “Please, dear, _relax_.”

Before Julian could reply, a knock sounded at the door and Garak set the novel on the table before getting up, “Stay there,” he ordered as he went to the door and answered it.

To Julian’s surprise, Jhanathan Dramok was standing outside, “ _Oh_ …” he spoke softly. “What…?”

“Julian, this is _Castellan_ Dramok,” Garak explained, letting the Castellan come inside.

Castellan Dramok smiled at Julian, “I just came by to deliver your enjoinment license and say that the Enterprise will be here in a couple of days to kickstart a project that will be in Legate Garak’s hands,” he explained calmly. “Having an enjoinment license is _enough_ for you to be able to request co-guardianship of Doctor Bashir’s child. Save the ceremony for after the surgery.”

A relieved expression crossed Julian’s face, as he wanted to _enjoy_ the wedding whenever he and Elim had it, “Elim, it’ll be _better_ this way,” he spoke softly. “I want to _enjoy_ our wedding.”

“I wasn’t aware I was being considered for a project at the same time that Julian would be recovering from surgery,” Garak replied uncertainly, frowning at the Castellan. “As honored as I am that I was chosen, Castellan, my _priority_ will be overseeing Julian’s recovery…”

Julian sighed, “Elim…” he spoke in a quiet voice, his expression sad. “You have _work_ …”

“If the work can’t be modified to accommodate my priorities, then I _do not want_ it,” Garak spoke in a cold voice, sighing as he took the PADD containing the license from the Castellan’s hand. “Castellan, I appreciate you coming by with the license, but we _do_ have an appointment.”

Julian gave Garak a look and silently collected the bag from the table before leaving the house in silence. Almost immediately, pain filled Julian’s body and he doubled over, swearing as he dropped to the dirt because the pain was too much. He cringed and proceeded to vomit.

A hand suddenly touched his back, “I was _going_ to order a skimmer,” Elim’s voice spoke in a quiet voice, sighing softly. “You’re very stubborn, trying to walk. Can you get up?”

“ _If_ you help me,” Julian managed to say shakily, sighing. “I _know_ I’m stubborn. I’m _sorry_.”

Garak nodded and gently helped Julian to his feet, taking the bag away from him as he did, “Is there any assistance you require?” Castellan Dramok asked as he came over to them.

“I…I’m _not_ feeling my best, Castellan,” Julian spoke nervously. “I…I apologize you had to…”

Castellan Dramok, however, gave Julian a look of amusement before he tapped a symbol on the chest of his outfit, “Doctor Parmak, this is Castellan Dramok, are you there?” he asked firmly.

“ _Doctor Parmak just went off shift_ ,” Galen’s voice responded. “ _What is it, Castellan_?”

Castellan Dramok sighed, “Doctor Dastra, please use the emergency transporter facilities to beam myself, Legate Garak, and Doctor Bashir to the hospital _immediately_ ,” he ordered sternly.

Before Julian could reply or argue, he felt himself being whisked away by a transporter beam.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

_ “…How was I supposed to know he’d pass out? He must be sicker than he looks!” _

__

_ “…I put in a call to Julian’s surgeon and explained things…” _

__

Julian sighed weakly as he opened his eyes and found himself staring at a ceiling, “Castellan, Galen, do you mind arguing somewhere else?” Julian suddenly heard. “Julian’s awake.”

A clicking noise suddenly filled the air and Julian quickly found himself sitting up enough that he could see Garak standing beside wherever he was laying, “You passed out during the transport,” Garak explained before Julian could speak. “Castellan went to get your surgeon.”

It was then that Julian suddenly felt intense pain rocket through his body and he found himself fighting to stay awake because the pain was so intense. A strange noise filled the room.

“The bio-alarm says his blood pressure is _dropping_!” Galen exclaimed as he rushed over to the biobed and began tapping on the controls to see what the problem was. “Doctor Bashir…”

A whine filled the room and Julian felt very woozy, “…Get him in a gown and prep him _now,_ Doctor Dastra!” an anxious voice suddenly filled the air. “Okay, I see the problem…”

“…Julian, _hold on_ ,” Julian heard a concerned voice say as he surrendered to the darkness.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Nearly 12 hours had passed and Elim Garak hadn’t moved from Julian’s bedside.

After being rushed through emergency surgery that had involved the removal of a burst ovary, Julian had nearly died on the table from that and blood loss. Fortunately, and Elim found himself feeling very fortunate for it, Dr. Grayson-Dramok had been the one operating on Julian with Galen’s help and they had stabilized the poor man before putting him on antibiotics.

Sadly, Julian was _far_ from well, Elim mused, but Dr. Dramok and Galen were conferencing about that and had left him to watch over his fiancé. Elim had been doing so willingly, but Julian had been unconscious long enough that he had been put on a respiration device and drip-feeds of other medication to try and help him. All Elim could do was make the room as comfortable as possible and alternate between talking to Julian and holding his hand.

“…Kukulaka’s been stuffed in your bag all day and he might be happier closer to you,” Elim spoke in a calming voice as he settled Kukulaka in Julian’s arm. “ _There_ we go…”

Elim sighed, gently giving Julian’s hand a squeeze. Suddenly, Elim felt the hand squeeze back.

“Julian?” Elim spoke in a quiet voice, frowning as Julian woke and peered up at him. “ _Hello_.”

Julian immediately tried to speak, but he quickly found he couldn’t, “You’re on a respiration device, so don’t try to talk,” Elim spoke calmly. “I _know_ being quiet is very hard for you...”

An eye-roll was the response Elim got and he smiled at it because it meant Julian could understand what he was saying. He promptly hit the silent alarm to get someone in there because now that Julian was awake, he needed to know what was happening as far as his health went.

A few moments later, both Dr. Grayson-Dramok, who was wearing simple scrubs and a gray cardigan, and Galen came into the room, “Julian’s awake,” Elim explained in a quiet voice. “He’s _definitely_ himself. He rolled his eyes at me.”

“Garak, you’ve been sitting beside his bed for 12 hours,” Galen spoke calmly, eyeing his friend. "You should take a respite."

Garak scoffed as Dr. Grayson-Dramok came to the other side of the bed and quickly checked the bioreadings, “I think this can come off,” she said, gently removing the device from Julian’s face.

“I didn’t _realize_ there were other Starfleet personnel here,” Julian spoke, his voice weak from being on a respiratory device. “At any rate, it’s good to see you. Were you my surgeon?”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok nodded, although she didn't comment on his mention of Starfleet, “Do you want some water or anything for your throat?” she asked in a concerned voice, watching worriedly as he swallowed repeatedly to loosen his throat up.

“What _exactly_ did you do to me?” Julian asked groggily. “I feel like I’ve been asleep forever.”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok sighed, “I’m not going to lie to you, Doctor Bashir,” she replied, seeing that she would get no peace until she told him the truth. “You had an ovary burst and you’ve got growths inside of you that were chemically induced. They’ll have to be handled with medicine.”

“ _Growths_?” Julian asked weakly, frowning. “Diseases like that are _supposed_ to be…”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok sighed, “I know,” she cut him off. “The same chemicals that were responsible for your ectopic last year seem to be the cause of the growths. With your permission, I want to get you started on a drug that Doctor Dastra and Doctor Parmak believe will help you.”

“What will this drug do?” Julian asked in a weak voice, suddenly feeling tired again.

Elim suddenly looked taken aback, “It’s going to hopefully eradicate the growths and save your life,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok explained quietly. “The chemicals…seem Starfleet in origin and when I came to Cardassia last year, I was taught of many medicines that are _only_ available here.”

“I thought the Cardassians _didn’t_ trust Starfleet with their secrets?” Julian asked softly, frowning.

Elim smirked, “They _don’t,_ my dear doctor,” he replied gently, smirking. “You’re right.”

Julian frowned, “I set my commission aside after the war because Starfleet had issue with me having a relationship with a Cardassian dissident,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok explained in a calm voice. “My sister helped me return to the Interspecies Medical Exchange and is overseeing the relief efforts. She started her assignment by serving as a witness to my wedding here.”

“Julian, _this_ is the Castellan’s wife,” Elim cut in, smirking as he nodded at Dr. Grayson-Dramok. “Kelas and Galen _don’t_ have the patience or the time to oversee the entire hospital because they’re working in dangerous areas, but the Castellan _doesn’t_ want his wife among the _ruffians_. He gave her run of the hospital to keep her from working on the streets and protect her.”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok made a face at Elim, but she looked pleased at his compliments, “I’m getting _tired_ ,” Julian spoke in a tired voice. “ _Please_ , however you have to help me, _do it_.”

“I’ll prepare doses of the drug while you rest,” Galen spoke in a quieter voice, suddenly feeling very sorry for the Human doctor because he hadn’t asked for what was happening to him.

Julian peered up at Elim, “ _Will you stay_?” he asked in a quiet voice as he began fighting sleep.

“Of _course_ ,” Elim promised, sighing softly. “I know you need me and I…need you too.”

Galen quietly excused himself and Dr. Grayson-Dramok followed, wondering why the Cardassian seemed so subdued, “Galen, what’s wrong?” she asked in a concerned voice.

“I feel _remorseful_ ,” Galen admitted softly. “I misjudged Doctor Bashir _quite_ harshly.”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok sighed patiently, “Galen, you’ve seen _many_ terrible things,” she spoke in a kind voice as she offered him an encouraging smile. “That is why I send Kelas to the camps more often than you. I know that type of environment reminds you of what you’ve seen.”

“And I thank you for that,” Galen replied resolutely, nodding. “I’ve seen a _lot_ of things…”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok nodded understandingly and Galen quickly composed himself, “I am the one with the best knowledge of the medicine that will help Doctor Bashir, so I will prepare and administer it,” he spoke quietly. “Although, I admit, I am _highly disturbed_ about something.”

Silence filled the air, so Galen continued, “Why would there be traces of Federation chemicals in the tumors you found in Doctor Bashir’s body?” he asked quietly. “It’s almost as if they did that to him on _purpos_ e. It seems _odd_ that the Federation would seek to harm one of their own.”

“I’m honestly not sure, but I’ll ask Jhanathan and Elim to look into it,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok spoke in a quiet voice. “I’m going to update Doctor Bashir’s chart and then I’ll be back.”

Nodding, Galen went to a nearby lab and began to make a dose of the medicine for Julian. It would take a small amount of time for the medicine to be ready, but Galen would do his best to ensure that it would successfully help the doctor get well.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Captain Picard had assigned them guest quarters on the Enterprise and Keiko had to get to work quite quickly preparing for the project she would be doing with Garak, so Miles was left on his own to tend Molly, Yoshi, and Ricky. He quickly got some simple puzzles and other toys out for them and settled them in sight of himself while he focused on preparing a light supper.

As Miles replicated a meal for them, as he didn’t want to drag the kids to the Mess, he noticed that Molly and Yoshi were busy with the puzzles. Ricky, however, was focused on the toys that were easy to play with and he seemed uninterested in even acknowledging anyone else.

Sighing, Miles replicated some easy meals and set the table, “Molly, Yoshi, dinner,” he spoke in a gentle but firm voice. “Molly, can you help get Ricky to the table, please?”

Molly set her puzzle aside and picked up Ricky before coming to the table, but Ricky began to cry just as he reached the table, “ _Oh_ , come here,” Miles said warmly, taking Ricky into his arms.

“Daddy, how come Ricky isn’t with Julian?” Molly asked, taking her seat at the table while Miles bounced Ricky on his knee to quiet him. “Julian’s his daddy and mommy and you said that kids should always be with their mommies and daddies.”

Miles frowned, as he didn’t know how to explain the concept of foster homes to Molly. He personally thought it _absurd_ that Starfleet had forced Julian to give his child up, as Julian had done a spectacular job parenting considering everything that had happened on Deep Space Nine.

“Daddy, the food’s not very good,” Molly suddenly complained. “Can we go to the Mess Hall?”

Miles sighed, “Molly, I don’t want to take Ricky out and about and overwhelm him,” he explained in a concerned voice. “He’s young and he might find the ship a little scary.”

“Is Ricky special?” Molly asked thoughtfully. “He doesn’t act like other little kids.”

Before Miles could respond, the door chime sounded, “Come,” he said in a worried voice.

The doors slid open and Miles was surprised to see Commander Troi at the door, “I saw Keiko chatting with Captain Picard in the Mess and she mentioned you were here,” Troi spoke in a kind voice, offering a smile. “Keiko said she invited all of you to dinner, but you declined…”

“Oh, um, Ricky’s a bit young to be going around the ship,” Miles lied, not wanting to admit that he was afraid to take Ricky in the public areas for fear that others would mock the boy’s obvious delays or try to hurt him because he was Julian’s child. “I thought a quiet dinner here would…”

Commander Troi, however, could sense that Miles wasn’t being honest, “Has something happened?” she asked in a confused voice, frowning. “I had heard that you and Keiko had taken custody of Doctor Bashir’s son, but why do you seem uneasy? I can sense you’re _nervous_ …”

“I’m _not sure_ I want to discuss it in front of the kids,” Miles admitted anxiously before sighing heavily because he knew there was no hiding with Troi. “Julian and I did something on Deep Space Nine right before the war ended that might be coming back to haunt me…and him. I’m gonna have to talk to him once we reach Cardassia if I can find out where he’s staying.”

Commander Troi frowned, “I wasn’t aware that Doctor Bashir was on Cardassia,” she replied.

“He’s _not_ supposed to be, but he _is_ ,” Miles replied in a concerned voice. “And as far as dinner goes, I don’t want to take Ricky out into public areas of the ship because it might be _unsafe_ …”

Yoshi whined and pushed his food away, “ _Oh_ , I give up,” Miles said with a sigh. “Mess Hall.”

Molly quickly got Yoshi out of his chair while Miles lifted Ricky to his shoulder, as he knew from Julian that Ricky couldn’t yet walk more than a few steps without falling. Commander Troi carried Yoshi as they went to the Mess Hall in silence. Keiko and Picard were indeed talking quietly at a corner table while looking over PADD’s, so Miles sat at the opposite end of the room and kept Ricky on his lap, “I can take them to get what they want to eat,” Troi offered kindly.

“Molly’s old enough to get her food and she can get Yoshi’s too,” Miles replied quietly, quickly shooing Molly and Yoshi off towards the galley and replicators. “Molly, help your brother.”

Sensing that he wanted to talk, Troi joined him at the table, “Near the end of the war, Julian and I tortured Luther Sloan from Section 31 to get a cure for the morphogenic virus that was crippling Constable Odo because he was our friend,” Miles explained in a hushed voice. “We got the cure, but Sloan ended up dying. Ever since my family and I came back to Earth, Starfleet…Admiral Ross in particular…has been monitoring my movements and having people follow me.”

Troi frowned, but said nothing, “I think they wanted to keep an eye on me because they know what we did and I worry that Julian might be in similar trouble, but I don’t know how to get a hold of him to warn him,” Miles admitted softly. “Right before this mission, though, I got a message from a Cardassian named Garak and he was asking about Federation custody laws.”

“Perhaps this Garak wants to help Julian regain custody of his son?” Troi suggested softly.

Miles sighed, “I’m not sure _why_ Garak would want to take on the responsibility of Julian’s child when Cardassia is in shambles,” he replied with a sigh. “Why do you think he asked about it?”

As Troi and Miles continued chatting, they were unaware that Captain Picard and Keiko had finished their meeting and Keiko had gone. Captain Picard, however, was watching Miles intently and silently because he had heard rumors about Miles that made him wonder what had happened on and after Deep Space Nine. If the rumors were true, why had he done those things?

Miles O’Brien did not look like a killer, Picard reasoned, but the rumor was that he and Julian Bashir had murdered someone before the end of the war to help a Changeling. In addition to the project, Picard had also been ordered to approach and speak with Julian Bashir about why he was ignoring Starfleet orders to return to Deep Space Nine. He had accepted the order reluctantly.

* * *

* * *

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* * *

* * *

* * *

Night had fallen and Julian was sound asleep, overpowered by fading anesthetic and pain medication, but Elim Garak was wide awake. He was reading a novel aloud to Julian while silently caressing the man’s hand to keep it warm. Such simple acts were still acts of love and Elim was determined to defy expectation and actually let himself love Julian regardless of what others thought. Julian's return to Cardassia was truly a second chance for them and he wasn't about to let it slip away.

Suddenly, Julian’s PADD, which was on the bedside table along with his holo-album, flashed to life and Elim instinctively grabbed it. He saw that Julian had received a new message from Quark, but not on the regular Deep Space Nine channel. No, this message was sent a less legal way.

Wondering why _Quark_ was messaging Julian, Elim opened the message and his eyes widened. Quark had closed his bar temporarily and was on his way to Cardassia courtesy of the _Xhosa_ under the guise of delivering supplies and doing a news story on how Cardassia was recovering. The _Xhosa_ would arrive at the Port of Cardassia in two days and Quark _needed_ to talk to Julian. Garak found himself stunned speechless as he stared at the message, wondering what Quark wanted.


	7. Manipulating Diplomacy

**_ Two Days Later _ **

The Port of Cardassia’s processing building had been heavily damaged by the Dominion, but the landing pad was still intact and had been used for ships bringing relief to Cardassia. Elim arrived to the center just in time to see the _Xhosa_ land and its engines shut off almost immediately after.

Elim hadn’t told Julian about Quark’s message nor about the _Xhosa_ ’s visit, but he had simply decided to take some respite time while Galen took Julian through the first dose of treatment at the hospital. Julian hadn’t argued and had simply told Elim to take care of himself, but Elim knew that Julian had his opinion; he was simply too weak to engage in a discussion.

As the boarding ramp went down, Elim was surprised to see that Quark was the first off the ship carrying a duffel over his shoulder. Quark froze in his tracks at seeing Garak there to greet them.

“I was _expecting_ Doctor Bashir,” Quark spoke nervously. “I sent him a _private_ message…”

Garak nodded, “Doctor Bashir’s _unavailable_ ,” he replied firmly, giving the Ferengi a suspicious look. “I saw the message you sent him, though, and I’m _very_ curious about it…”

“ _Look_ , we _can’t_ talk here,” Quark hissed darkly, his expression nervous. “The Siskos are guests of the Castellan and I’m simply a _passenger_. Is there somewhere quieter we could go?”

Before Garak could reply, he noticed the Castellan’s skimmer arriving and he quickly escorted Quark off into the shadows. The two watched as Castellan Dramok came through the ruined building and out to the Xhosa. A moment later, Kasidy came out with Jake, who was holding a little girl in his arms, and greeted the Castellan warmly. Quark sighed quietly.

“We can talk as we walk back to the city,” Garak hissed, figuring Quark was being secretive for an important reason. “If you tell me _anything_ but the truth, I’ll have you arrested and jailed.”

Nodding, Quark followed Garak through the shadows as they walked away from the port.

* * *

* * *

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* * *

* * *

* * *

The space of desert between Cardassia City and the Port of Cardassia was quite large and that small fact allowed Quark to keep a distance from Garak once they were in the open. Since it was early, none were about on desert skimmers and yet, the tension in the air was very thick.

“So why are you _really_ here?” Garak asked, giving Quark a look. “That bar is your _life_ …”

Quark sighed, “ _Not anymore_ ,” he replied nervously, unable to look at Garak. “I abandoned it.”

Garak’s eyes widened and Quark sighed before looking at him, “Ever since Captain Sisko disappeared and you left, Starfleet’s been doing what they can to change Deep Space Nine to make it more of a _Starfleet_ -run outpost,” Quark explained in a serious voice. “Admiral Ross has been placed in charge of reorganizing things and everyone I knew has been leaving for new opportunities. I had planned on staying, but after hearing what I overheard, I knew I _couldn’t_ …”

“And _what_ did you overhear?” Garak asked curiously, frowning when Quark looked up at the sky as if he were trying to determine if he was being overheard. “We’re quite safe here.”

Quark looked at him, “When Admiral Ross and some other Starfleet bigwigs were on the station talking to Colonel Kira about Doctor Bashir’s unauthorized leave, they came into the bar and got drunk enough that they started _talking_ ,” he explained in a hushed voice. “They were bashing Doctor Bashir and mad that a guy named Luther Sloan and the Augments from the Institute _couldn’t be bothered_ to do the job they were ordered to do. Admiral Ross hired Sloan to dispose of Bashir, but apparently, Sloan got lazy and asked the Augments from the Institute to do it…”

Garak’s heart dropped as he processed this, as it meant that Starfleet had been trying to _purposely kill_ Julian…most likely because of his enhanced status, “Doctor Loews of the Institute was ordered to give Doctor Bashir a chemical that would eventually kill him, but Sarina Douglas found out the doctor was a Carrier and impregnated Doctor Bashir at the same time…”

“And what _proof_ of this do you have other than your word?” Garak asked suspiciously.

Garak silently reached into his pocket and pulled out a data rod, “When I told Colonel Kira what I overheard, she pulled this for me,” Quark explained softly. “I got the first transport I could and as soon as I can, I’m going to visit Nog for a while until I can figure out what to do next.”

Silence filled the desert as Garak studied Quark intently before taking the rod and securing it in his jacket pocket, “I’m afraid transports are quite rare these days,” Garak explained softly.

“At least I’m away from Deep Space Nine,” Quark mused quietly. “It’s _dangerous_ there.”

Garak sighed, “As _productive_ as this conversation is, I really must go see Doctor Bashir,” he spoke in an annoyed voice. “Since you’re a passenger of the _Xhosa_ , you need to register…”

“I’m a _civilian_ ,” Quark argued anxiously, frowning. “I have _no reason_ to register.”

Garak scoffed, “Go back to the port and talk to the Castellan!” he snapped. “I’ll submit your evidence to the Ministry of Justice and then I have other things to do! _Good day_!”

Quark gaped at Garak as the Cardassian turned and marched into the city. Swallowing hard, Quark jogged back to the port just in time to see Castellan Dramok, Kasidy, and her crew unloading supplies while Jake, who had the girl at his side, was taking photos of them.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

The sunlight streamed through the window and enveloped Julian, prompting him to sigh. He had been woken by Elim that morning and had felt concern when the Cardassian had stated he needed a few hours of respite. Was his presence and frail health suddenly too much for Garak?

Gritting his teeth, Julian sat up and swung his legs over the bed. He rose and moved over to the window, ignoring the pricks of pain that had filled his healing abdomen. Even though he could smell food in the air, Julian had no appetite and all he could think of was how he hoped his son would be all right if he didn’t survive. It was absolute irony that the almighty Augment doctor, who was supposed to be infallible under any circumstance, was now a hospital patient.

“Doctor Bashir?” a deep voice spoke. “I…I have a dose of your treatment prepared…”

Julian turned, deeply surprised to see Galen in the doorway holding a medical kit that resembled a toolbox, “If you were trying to _escape_ , please go ahead,” Galen spoke in a quiet voice, his expression concerned. “I _know_ I haven’t been kind and I do apologize. If you’d prefer another doctor, I _can_ contact Doctor Parmak or even Doctor Grayson-Dramok to do this…”

“I was just thinking about my son,” Julian replied softly. “He’s on Earth right now…”

Galen immediately looked confused, “What are you doing _here_ if your son is on Earth?” he asked in a confused voice, wondering if Julian’s dependence on alcohol was the reason, although Julian hadn't drank for a while now.

“My parents petitioned for custody because they thought I was unfit, but I got a friend to step in as a caregiver,” Julian explained in a quiet, solemn voice. “Starfleet made me surrender my son…”

Pain shot through Julian’s body like a rocket and he leaned against the window, not bothering to comment that the hospital pajamas didn’t offer much warmth. Galen found himself both confused and angry at Starfleet, but his priority at that very moment was Julian’s treatment.

“I’m sorry, you don’t need to hear my troubles,” Julian suddenly apologized as he eased off the wall and slowly returned to his bed. “I’ll be fine on my own once you get things started.”

Galen paused briefly before following Julian to the bed and getting the dripfeed containing the medicine out of the case. He silently attached it to Julian’s right hand and hung it up carefully.

“You’ve probably got to get going to the tent cities today,” Julian spoke softly, sighing as an expression of sadness filled his face. “I’ve got to figure out what to do once I’m well…”

A throat suddenly cleared as Elim entered the room, “When you’re well enough to be out of here, you’ll be coming home with me and we’ll have a wedding ceremony in the living room if we have to,” he spoke in a firm voice, eyeing Julian. “Unless you’ve changed your mind?”

“I _thought_ you had?” Julian asked quietly, staring at him. “You asked for a _respite_ …”

Elim sighed, knowing he couldn’t lie to Julian any longer, “The _Xhosa_ is here delivering supplies and Quark wishes to speak with you, but I didn’t want him interfering in your treatment,” he explained frankly, walking over to the bed. “The crew are guests of the Castellan for as long as they are here and I believe young Mister Sisko is also doing a story on Cardassia’s re-birth.”

Julian nodded, “Do I _have_ to meet with them?” he asked softly, his expression tired. “I…”

“Not if you don’t feel up to it, my dear,” Elim explained softly, sitting beside the bed.

Julian sighed, “I _don’t_ ,” he admitted softly. “I also want you to agree to that project…the one the Castellan mentioned. I’m sure the Enterprise was sent simply because Starfleet’s going to try and force me back to duty. I want you to play nice and do what you can to foster peace…”

Elim scoffed, “You will _not_ be forced to do anything,” he sniffed. “I _will not_ allow it.”

“If I might make a suggestion, I believe you can keep the Enterprise from forcing Doctor Bashir back to work by invoking _spousal rights_ ,” Galen spoke up, unable to resist eavesdropping.

Julian frowned, “We’re only engaged on _paper_ and that might be enough for Elim to request co-guardianship of Ricky, but it’s not going to stop Starfleet from requesting my return to duty,” he replied in a tired voice, sighing. “I’m probably facing a _court-martial_ at this point, though…”

“I can request that the Castellan come here and marry you two _before_ the Enterprise arrives,” Galen offered in a quiet voice, sighing calmly. “The wedding can be in the courtyard.”

Elim gazed at Julian longingly, “I’m in _hospital pajamas_ ,” Julian spoke in a quiet voice even though the idea of a wedding that day was appealing. “And I’m _not_ very nice to look at…”

“My dear, you’re a _divine_ _masterpiece_ as you are and I would be _very happy_ to marry you even if you are in _hospital pajamas_ ,” Elim spoke in a kind voice. “You _do_ have some summer clothes in your bag, though, and if you’re so concerned about how you look, I can help you dress and make you pretty while Galen arranges things. It’s a bit _quick_ , I know, but _please_ …marry me, Julian.”

Julian was silent for a moment before nodding, “I _will_ ,” he replied softly, his expression tired.

Elim smiled and motioned for Galen to come over to him, plucking the data rod from his pocket with his free hand, “Galen, when you’re arranging things, can you also arrange a Security detail so we can have a safe ceremony?” he asked, passing the rod to him. “And send _this_ to Galenna.”

Galen took the rod and nodded before leaving the room. He sensed the rod contained sensitive information related to Julian and knew Elim wouldn’t want it addressed in such secrecy unless it was important.

A tired smile filled Julian’s face as he held his hand out for Elim to take, “Can you remind me of what the declaration of intent is so I can use them as part of my vows during our wedding ceremony?” he asked. “You read them to me once, but I’ve forgotten them.”

“ _Always_ , my dear doctor,” Elim replied, sighing as he took Julian’s hand and began to speak.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

“Daddy, how come Ricky doesn’t talk?” Molly asked softly as she sat with her parents, Yoshi, and Ricky in the Enterprise school room after getting clearance from the teacher to engage the kids in some learning activities privately. “He’s the same age as Yoshi and Yoshi talks.”

Keiko sighed as she looked up from the book she had been reading the kids and saw Molly staring at Ricky while and Yoshi sat on Miles’s lap together. Yoshi had been making small sounds of words, but Ricky simply sat there quietly and looked uninterested in the book.

“Ricky’s a little slower than Yoshi in the way he learns and responds to things, Molly,” Keiko explained in a kind voice, offering a smile. “He might also know his daddy’s not here…”

Molly’s frowned deepened, “How come Julian’s not here?” she demanded in an upset voice. “I saw them on the station and Julian loves his son so much! How come he’s not here now?”

“Molly, Julian’s not here because Julian’s parents asked Starfleet to take Ricky away from Julian,” Miles spoke in a solemn voice. “Julian’s parents didn’t think Julian could look after Ricky, so Julian asked us to do it because he trusts us to keep Ricky safe. Understand?”

Molly nodded, but she didn’t look happy or satisfied with the answer. She was, however, prevented from speaking by the arrival of one of the teachers, Miss Kyle, “Do you and Yoshi want to be in the school today?” Miles asked, smiling at Molly. “You can if you want.”

“Can Ricky stay with us?” Molly asked hopefully. “I’ll take special care of him.”

As if sensing he might be left in a strange place, Ricky’s face suddenly crumbled and he began to wail openly before burying his face in Miles’s uniform, “No cwy,” Yoshi spoke quietly. 

“Ricky doesn’t like being left alone in strange places, Molly,” Miles spoke apologetically. “Keiko, do you want me to take him so you can stay with the kids or do you want to take him?”

Yoshi extended his hands towards Keiko, “Mama!” he called out, suddenly wanting his mom.

Keiko took Ricky and Miles sighed as he rose with Ricky in his arms, “Didn’t Ricky’s father teach him to _socialize_?” Miss Kyle asked in a confused voice. “Or was Doctor Bashir too…?”

“I _don’t_ want to hear a word against Julian,” Miles growled, cutting her off with a scowl. “I served with Julian for seven years and he gave all of himself to raise Ricky the best he could.”

Miss Kyle scowled back, “And _obviously_ Doctor Bashir did a crap job of it since Ricky’s with a foster family by order of Starfleet,” she replied coldly. “Don’t think I haven’t read the reports.”

Miles scowled, but left the room with Ricky without offering a retort because he knew it would only hurt Julian’s case. Julian had tried socializing Ricky as much as circumstances would allow, but it hadn’t worked and Julian had been reluctant to push it once he found out about Ricky’s learning delays because he feared his son would be bullied for being behind other kids.

Sighing, Miles returned to their guest quarters with Ricky and quickly got a picture book before settling them down in a comfy chair, “ _Picard to Chief O’Brien_ ,” a voice suddenly filled the air.

Miles sighed and tapped the combadge he was wearing, “O’Brien here,” he replied with a sigh.

“ _I’d like to talk to you privately in my Ready Room_ ,” Picard’s crisp voice filled the air.

Miles frowned, “Captain, I’m babysitting at the moment,” he said worriedly. “Perhaps later?”

“ _I can come to you_ ,” Picard replied calmly. “ _I need to discuss an urgent matter with you_.”

Tapping his combadge off, Miles activated the book and began to read whilst showing Ricky the pictures in hopes of engaging his interest. Julian had done the same thing back on Deep Space Nine and it hadn’t worked then, but Miles figured it couldn’t hurt to keep trying.

A few moments passed before the door chime rang, “Come,” Miles said in a tired voice.

The door opened and Picard came into the room, his expression morphing into one of surprise when he saw Ricky there, “We do have a schoolroom,” Picard commented as he sat in a chair near where Miles and Ricky were sitting. “You’re welcome to leave Ricky there for the…”

“What is it you wanted to talk about, sir?” Miles asked in a quiet voice. “You said it was urgent?”

Picard sighed, “I heard some disturbing talk from Command that you and Doctor Bashir were responsible for the death of an officer because you wanted to help a Changeling overcome the morphogenic virus?” he asked softly. “As I understand it, the Changeling was your friend?”

“Yes, Constable Odo was the Chief of Security on Deep Space Nine and we wanted to help him,” Miles explained in a solemn voice. “Doctor Bashir didn’t make the decision alone, if that’s what you’re thinking. We both made the decision and doing what we did doesn’t make Julian dangerous. If you’re going to punish him for it, you had better punish me as well.”

Picard looked thoughtful, “At this point, I’ve been ordered to ask Doctor Bashir why he’s disobeying a direct order to return to Deep Space Nine,” he explained, not willing to lie after Miles had opened up so freely. “Starfleet gave authorization to Colonel Kira Nerys for a supply delivery to Cardassia, but Doctor Bashir was to return straight after the delivery was complete. His failure to do so has caused Starfleet to look at assigning a new commander to the station because his disruptive behavior calls her ability to command into question.”

“I’m sorry, but I think it’s _ridiculous_ that Julian’s getting so much grief over giving himself a little break,” Miles replied coldly, sighing irritably. “Maybe he decided to stay and serve as a doctor to the citizens of Cardassia. I heard they lost a lot of very skilled people in the war.”

Picard sighed, “I’ve also heard rumors that Legate Elim Garak contacted you regarding custody laws?” he asked quietly. “You are aware that the Federation is trying to get Cardassia to join their ranks? This mission is not only for Keiko and Legate Garak to work on their horticulture project; it’s also an opportunity for the Enterprise to present the Castellan with an opportunity to join.”

Miles, however, said nothing because he wasn’t going to spread rumors about Julian and Garak even though he thought that Julian might have stayed on Cardassia for Garak, “I think it might be best if you help me approach Doctor Bashir once we arrive,” Picard said softly. “Don’t you?”

“Whatever you think best, sir,” Miles replied nervously, hating Picard’s take on things.

Nodding, Picard rose and silently left, “Oh, _God_ ,” Miles muttered anxiously, exhaling softly before he turned his attention back to the book. “I don’t like being made to go against Julian, but that’s what I’m being forced to do. I need to find a way to _warn_ him about all of this.”

Just then, Keiko came into the room having left once Yoshi calmed down, “Keiko, can you contact Garak under the premise of talking about the project?” Miles asked worriedly.

Keiko frowned, “What’s wrong?” she asked. “Why was Captain Picard here to see you?”

“It’s _complicated_ ,” Miles admitted in a concerned voice. “But I’ll explain as best I can.”

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

“…I appreciate you contacting me, Keiko and Chief O’Brien,” Julian heard Elim’s voice speak in a quiet tone. “I assure you that everything will be _firmly_ in place for the Enterprise’s arrival.”

Julian woke just in time to see Elim end the call, “Was that Miles?” he asked groggily.

“Yes,” Elim replied smoothly, quickly returning to Julian’s bedside. “Keiko decided to call to talk about the project while I was in the middle of communicating with Galen about the arrangements. Chief O’Brien also warned me that Captain Picard _will_ take you to task…”

Julian sighed weakly, “Elim, I’m _not_ strong enough for such a conversation,” he spoke in a tired, almost cross voice as he pulled Kukulaka close to him. “I’m feeling…how is the treatment?”

“My dear, I _know_ you’re not strong enough,” Elim spoke soothingly. “We have to move quickly, though, so that the Enterprise won’t have a leg to stand on as far as ordering you back goes.”

Julian nodded, although he could barely move, let alone stand at the moment, “The Castellan has left his wife to help the crew of the Xhosa enjoy Cardassia City while he sends a communication to Captain Picard that our marriage ceremony be included in the Enterprise’s visit here,” Elim explained in a soft voice. “It would make Starfleet look _very bad_ to the rest of the Federation if a Human and a Cardassian were not allowed to marry and make a family…wouldn’t it? If the Enterprise wants to come in the name of _diplomacy_ , they’ll have to witness our wedding in order to keep the peace. If Starfleet wants to play dirty, Cardassia's certainly ready for it. The Castellan is well aware that Starfleet wants Cardassia to join the Federation, but he's...shall we say... _reluctant_ to do so?”

“When we talked about marriage before, you said that the couple had to recite the declaration of intent in front of a witness the day before the ceremony,” Julian spoke in a tired voice. “We…”

Just then, Kelas and Galen both came into the room and Kelas looked pleased with himself as he handed a PADD to Elim, “I found a copy of the procedure in the archives,” he declared.

Elim held the PADD with one hand while he took hold of Julian’s hand with the other, his expression full of love as he gazed at Julian, “I offer all that I have in the hopes that it will be enough to win your heart and claim your love as mine,” he spoke in a clear, but serious voice because he wanted Julian to know that he meant and loved every word that was said. “Although I have very little, I offer it freely and hope you will take it with love and trust me enough to offer all that you have to me.”

“It is enough,” Julian replied, suddenly remembering the declaration. “Can I see the PADD, Elim?”

Elim handed Julian the PADD and Julian sighed as he gazed at Elim longingly, “I offer all that I have in the hopes that it will be enough to win your heart and claim your love as mine,” Julian spoke in a clear, but serious voice because he wanted Elim to know that he meant every word even though he was tired. “Although I have very little, I offer it freely and hope you will take it with love and trust me enough to offer all that you have to me. I also offer the life and love of my son for your keeping.”

“It is enough,” Elim replied in a calm voice, lifting Julian’s hand to his lips. “You _remembered_ it.”

Julian offered a tired smile and Elim quickly took the PADD back, tossing it over to Galen and Kelas to sign as they were required to do having served as witnesses, “And now I think it’s time for you to rest some more, my dear,” Elim spoke softly. “When you wake, we’ll share a meal together.”

“That sounds _absolutely lovely_ , Elim,” Julian replied sleepily as he closed his eyes to rest.


	8. Harsh Realities

_What if I slip back into using alcohol to relieve my pain?_ Julian thought worriedly as he stood at the window of his hospital room, silently gazing into the street below. He wasn’t feeling well that day and he was worried about what would happen once the Enterprise arrived. Would the wedding even happen or would Elim change his mind about marrying someone who had abused a substance?

The nausea was so intense that Julian was leaning against the window and gravitating between watching the street and closing his eyes to rest. He wasn’t aware that Elim, who had spent the night and gotten up early to prepare things, had returned with Kelas and a plate of breakfast. Now, the two Cardassians were watching Julian worriedly and trying to figure out how to be of help to him.

Elim murmured to Kelas before moving forward and setting the plate on the table next to the bed before moving over to his intended, “My dear doctor,” Elim spoke in a smoothing voice as he gently ran his hand across Julian’s back. “I _know_ you’re anxious about today, but you don’t _need_ to be.”

“I haven’t had a drop of booze since I’ve been here, but I’m worried that I won’t feel better and end up slipping backwards,” Julian spoke with a sigh. “I’m in pain, I feel sick, and I’m _scared_ …”

Elim sighed patiently, “Did you know that Cardassian means ‘people of discipline?” he asked in a quiet voice, gazing at Julian tenderly. “When I recited the declaration of intent yesterday, I meant it and I _meant_ all the promises that come with it. Tell me, Julian, did you _mean_ what you recited?”

Julian was silent for a moment before he turned to look at Elim, “Of _course_ ,” he replied in a quiet voice, his expression somber. “It wasn’t until after the fact that I realized that I’m _very flawed_ and I see why Ricky was taken from me. If I can’t care for myself, how can I possibly care for anyone?”

A stern expression crossed Elim’s face, “Ricky was taken from you because your parents _petitioned_ Starfleet to see you as unfit,” he corrected Julian softly. “Your parents’ pride and the pain that Starfleet has caused you is _making_ you see yourself this way. You have flaws, yes, but we _all_ do.”

Julian’s face crumbled and Elim pulled him into a gentle embrace just before quiet sobbing filled the air. A few moments passed before Julian pulled away and sighed weakly, his expression still sad.

“I brought you breakfast and Kelas wants to check you over after yesterday’s treatment,” Elim spoke in a soothing voice, gently wiping the tears from Julian’s face. “Galen’s off doing some relief work and helping young Mister Sisko get some photo ops, but he’ll be back in time for the ceremony.”

Julian nodded and allowed Elim to lead him back to bed, “When we’re married, you will inherit Cardassian citizenship and you will become one of us,” Elim explained as Julian sat back under the covers and waited for breakfast. “You are correct in that you are of no worth to your parents or Starfleet, but you are of _infinite_ worth to me. We are very much about family here on Cardassia and I will help you and Ricky grow into people that love themselves and see themselves as valuable.”

“Ricky…has learning difficulties,” Julian mused sadly. “Will Cardassia really accept him?”

Elim sighed and sat beside the bed, “Him _and_ you,” he replied softly. “Kelas, do you want to check Julian over before he eats or after?”

“I think I’ll get more accurate readings after Doctor Bashir calms down and has something to eat,” Kelas explained in a kind voice, offering a smile. “Besides, neither of you should have an empty stomach on their wedding day, Elim. Especially when you’re going to be hosting _troublesome_ guests. Enjoy the scones, jam, and tea and I’ll be back in a few minutes to do my exam.”

Elim nodded and looked at Julian, smiling only when Julian picked up a scone and began to eat.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Tent City was quieter than usual simply because it was an unusually cold day and most of the residents were inside their tents, trying to keep warm. It didn’t deter Galen, however, and he kept his head held high as he led Jake Sisko through the mess. Jake had wanted to do stories on Cardassia in hopes of trying to get more Federation member worlds involved in the restoration efforts and Kasidy had been more than willing to have him along provided he help with the supplies, which he had done.

Now, with Kasidy at the Castellan’s residence with Rebecca, Quark, and the rest of the Xhosa’s crew, Jake found himself shocked at how much still needed to be done to help the war-torn planet. Galen had personally collected him from the Castellan and had _warned_ him that things would be bleak, but Jake had been determined to do his work so that his father’s disappearance would not be in vain. His father had not yet come back as far as he knew, but then again, he wasn’t around all the time. Jake had walked with the doctor, silently recording all that he heard and saw in hopes of making a story.

“I’m _sorry_ if this isn’t providing you with enough insight,” Galen’s voice suddenly filled the air.

Jake turned and looked at Galen just in time to see him eyeing Galenna, who was walking the streets of the desolate area in her Security uniform, “Doctor Dastra?” Jake asked curiously. “You okay?”

Galen sighed, eyeing Galenna one last time before turning back to Jake, “I’m _fine_ , Mister Sisko,” he replied in a patient voice, though his expression was distracted. “You had a question?”

“I was just wondering if you wanted to be interviewed?” Jake asked in a quiet, curious voice.

Galen looked taken aback, “Why on _earth_ would you want to talk to _me_ when your goal is to get more aid for Cardassia Prime from Federation worlds?” he asked in a confused voice.

“Well, you’re a doctor here and were probably here during the war,” Jake explained in a cautious voice, worried he had caused offense. “I’d like thoughts from medical staff on how the lack of aid is making it hard for Cardassia to reclaim its former glory. If you’re not comfortable, I apologize…”

Galen looked shocked, “Cardassia lost its former glory _long before_ the war ended, you must understand,” he explained patiently. “We lost our might when we decided to join the Dominion and when we tried to make things right, we paid a heavy price. We may _never_ get our glory back.”

Jake nodded, “So, do you like that Security officer?” he asked softly. “You were watching her.”

“She is a _Security officer_ and I need to be aware of where the daily Security patrol is in case I need assistance!” Galen replied firmly, his voice rising in anguish. “You wish to interview a doctor?! Talk to Kelas Parmak at the hospital! I’m more than happy to guide you around, but I am not some little _poster boy_ who wishes to remember the past any more than I have to! Do I make myself…?!”

Without warning, Galen suddenly began wheezing and coughing to the point where he had to seat himself on one of the flat stones that lined the street. Jake frowned as Galenna immediately rushed to Galen’s side and pulled an emergency breathing device from her pocket, “Use _this_ ,” she spoke in a quiet voice, forcing it over his face before gazing at Jake. “What _exactly_ happened over here?”

“I asked Doctor Dastra if he wished to be interviewed as part of the articles I’m writing to try and get more Federation worlds to deliver aid to Cardassia,” Jake replied apologetically. “I’m _sorry_ if I…”

Galenna sighed, her expression patient because Jake wasn’t aware of Galen’s past, “Galen doesn’t like attention,” she explained quietly, looking back at Galen. “Don’t you have an inhaler?”

“I…I’m all right now,” Galen rasped, pushing the mask away. “You know very well that I cannot carry that medication with me in Tent City because it will be stolen. I will get some later.”

Jake looked concerned, “Do you have asthma?” he asked worriedly. “If you need the hospital…”

“I’ve had issues since before the war ended, but I don’t have the time to get my needs attended to because I am one of only _three_ doctors in the entire region,” Galen explained in a weak voice, his expression carefully neutral. “Since the Castellan will only allow his wife to work in secure medical facilities, that leaves Doctor Parmak and I to tend to those who cannot or will not go there.”

Jake nodded, “Why are there only three for the region?” he asked softly. “That seems…sparse.”

“Many gifted minds were killed during the war, including many medical personnel,” Galenna spoke up in a calm voice, seeing that Galen was tired. “If you want to help, Jake Sisko, take Doctor Dastra to the hospital and get Doctor Parmak to come take over his duties. Doctor Dastra needs rest.”

Galen scowled, “Galenna, Doctor Parmak is tending to Doctor Bashir and will be until after the wedding ceremony is over,” he argued weakly. “I will finish my rounds and then go see Doctor Grayson-Dramok in private for a stimulant shot. I know I’m not well, but it cannot be…mmph…”

Galenna suddenly cut Galen off by planting a deep, passionate kiss on his lips and Galen didn’t resist or push away, “You’re a _stubborn idiot_!” she breathed as she pulled away. “And I love you too much to let you keep being a stubborn idiot! I will get some junior personnel to help me here! Now go!”

“ _Really_ , Galenna, in front of Mister Sisko?” Galen replied, a simple smile on his face. “How _utterly scandalous_ of you to declare your love for me and kiss me _senseless_ in front of a _reporter_ …”

Galenna smirked, “You’re _not_ going to get better just by skulking off to your tent,” she replied softly.

“ _Very well_ ,” Galen acquiesced softly, sighing. “Will you check on my tent during your rounds?”

Galenna nodded and Galen looked to Jake before stalking off out of the mess that was Tent City. Jake silently followed after Galen, shocked by the revelation that a _doctor_ lived in such squalor.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

The mirror in the patient bathroom was cracked, but Julian used it anyway because Elim wanted him to see how handsome he looked. After breakfast and Kelas’s exam had been completed, Elim had dressed him in clean clothes from his bag and had worked with his hair til it was well-styled.

“You look _absolutely delightful_ , my dear,” Elim’s voice suddenly filled his ear. “Do I look all right?”

Julian turned to see that Elim was still in his tan suit and had merely styled his hair, “You look _lovely_ ,” he replied in a sincere voice, sighing. “Any word on the Enterprise’s arrival?”

“The Castellan will see to them when they arrive,” Elim replied softly. “Don’t worry so much.”

Julian nodded, “And I have heard rumors that Quark is organizing a small reception for us, but that is supposed to be a surprise,” Elim spoke with a smirk. “How are you feeling now, my dear?”

“Less tired, but I should probably sit until it’s time for the ceremony so I don’t wear out,” Julian spoke in a kind voice. “Do you think we could go sit in the fresh air? It might help my nerves.”

Elim nodded, “Before we go out, would you like me to call the Castellan to see where the Enterprise is so you don’t worry about it?” he suggested calmly. “It will only take a moment…”

“I’ll meet you outside,” Julian spoke quietly, sighing. “The exercise will do me some good.”

Elim caressed Julian’s cheek before letting him go and Julian was careful to go slow as he made his way through the hallways of the hospital to the lift. The only viable courtyard was on the first floor, so a ride in the lift was necessary. A hacking sound suddenly filled the air and Julian frowned; someone was obviously very sick. His doctor’s instincts quickly kicked in.

It only took a few moments to follow the sound and Julian froze in his tracks as he spotted Kelas standing beside a bed where Galen was sitting, pressing a breathing mask to his face. Jake was standing beside Galen looking concerned, “What’s going on?” Julian asked worriedly.

“Oh, Doctor Bashir, it’s good to see you up!” Kelas spoke warmly. “Galen’s just a _little_ unwell…”

Julian frowned as he moved over to the bed, “A _little_?” he scoffed. “He sounded like he was coughing up his lungs bit by bit. I could hear the hacking all the way down near the lift.”

Kelas sighed and Julian paused, “Do you mind if I have a look?” he asked in a thoughtful voice. “I might be able to help in one way or another. Doctor Dastra’s helped me so much…”

Galen shoved the mask off his face, “Shouldn’t you be with Legate Garak preparing for your ceremony?” he asked in a weak, but curious voice. “I am _quite used_ to feeling this way…”

“Even though you are _used_ to it, it doesn’t mean you should _have_ to feel this way,” Julian replied in the tone he had often used as a physician on Deep Space Nine. “Would you let me run a scan?”

Jake looked intrigued as Galen laid down, as he had been recording the entire time and knew this would send a powerful message. Julian, meanwhile, looked at the display and frowned because while he was well-versed in xenobiology, his knowledge of the Cardassian language was lacklustre. Miles had adapted the systems on Deep Space Nine to him, so there hadn’t been a need to learn it before.

“Doctor Parmak, how do I activate a scan on this thing?” Julian asked softly.

Kelas smiled and pressed a few buttons, translating the entire panel into Standard, “If you’re going to stay here with Elim, you’ll really need someone to teach you the language because not everyone is going to speak your language,” he spoke gently. “If you need the stool to be more comfortable…”

Julian quickly sat and initiated a scan while Galen relaxed as much as he was able to considering he wasn’t feeling good, “Galen, you really ought to see if your parents’ house is salvageable and claim it so you don’t have to live in that _broken dustbowl_ that’s Tent City,” Kelas observed quietly.

A concerned expression crossed Julian’s face as he looked at Galen, “You _live_ there?” he asked softly, now worried because based on what he had seen of it, Tent City was _far_ from safe.

“I’d rather _drink poison_ than live in the house where I had the life beaten and starved out of me for seventeen years,” Galen spat weakly. “Gul Dukat wasn’t inherently good, but he _did_ help me get out of that terrible environment. When Cardassia joined the Dominion, I did _not_ agree with the decision, but I owed my life to Dukat and so I _chose_ to come home and serve as a doctor among my people.”

Kelas looked thoughtful, as did Julian, “When the Dominion started killing Cardassians, I did what I could to preserve myself and it _obviously_ worked,” Galen spoke weakly. “How’s the scan?”

“You’ve got growths in your lungs,” Julian spoke in a concerned voice, eyeing the scan carefully. “I can remove them if you’d like, but you’re going to need to stay in the hospital to recover. At the very least, it’s a warm bed and decent food for a while. If you need time to think about it…”

Galen frowned, “And what about your _wedding_?” he asked weakly. “If you don’t show up…”

“It will still happen, but you need me right now because it will only get harder for you to breathe if I don’t remove the growths from your lungs,” Julian explained in a quiet voice. “Will you let me?”

Kelas gave Galen a look, “And you were accusing _Doctor Bashir_ of being problematic?” he asked softly, recalling the discussions he and Galen had had about Julian. “ _Don’t be prideful_ , Galen.”

“Oh, _very well_ ,” Galen acquiesced softly. “I haven’t got the strength to argue with you about it.”

Kelas looked at Julian, “Are you up to doing the surgery?” he asked softly. “If not, I can…”

“I’m not sure about procedures here, so I’ll need some help getting things prepped,” Julian replied in a professional voice, determined to help Galen as best he could. “Could you help with that, Doctor Parmak? It might _help_ Doctor Dastra if he had someone _familiar_ assisting me with this.”

Kelas brightened, “Of _course_ I can!” he replied calmly, relieved that Julian was there to help Galen after he himself had tried and failed to get Galen to agree to anything more than breathing aids.

As the two doctors prepared for the surgery, Jake slipped out of the room because he had to get to the Port of Cardassia for photos and dialogue about the Castellan meeting the Enterprise. He had promised the Castellan he would do everything he could to tell stories and he would indeed do that.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

“Elim, _stop scowling_ ,” Castellan Dramok spoke in a firm voice as he and Elim made their way to the Port of Cardassia on a skimmer to meet the Enterprise. “You know I had to ask you to come because you’re in charge of the Botanical Restoration Project and it would look silly if you didn’t come.”

Elim sighed, “And _what_ about Jake Sisko?” he asked. “Will he be there too?”

“I asked him to only spend a _short_ time with Doctor Dastra before meeting us at the Port, so I trust he will,” Castellan Dramok replied calmly. “Elim, I _hope_ I can trust you to behave diplomatically?”

Elim scoffed, “I _know how_ to be _diplomatic_ , Castellan,” he replied in a firm voice, sighing.

Castellan Dramok nodded and the two walked to the Port’s landing pad in silence, neither of them speaking as a shuttlecraft suddenly came into view from above. As he had promised, Jake was already there and filming the shuttle’s arrival. Soon enough, the shuttlecraft landed and powered down before the boarding ramp opened. Captain Picard, Commander Troi, Data, Keiko, and Miles, who was holding Ricky, came out on to the pad. Ricky squealed and reached towards Elim.

“Well, hello again, Ricky,” Elim spoke warmly as he walked over to Miles and smiled at Ricky.

Captain Picard couldn’t help but be amused by that, but he quickly composed himself and looked to Castellan Dramok, “Castellan, I am very grateful you agreed to this project so that Starfleet can help restore some of the beauty Cardassia had before the war,” he spoke in a diplomatic voice. “I’d like you to meet the liaison for the project that Starfleet provided, botanist Keiko O’Brien.”

Miles suddenly paled, as he was worried that the Castellan would call him out for having assassinated Cardassians in the past. He didn’t know _what_ Garak had said about him and he shoved Ricky into Elim’s arms before muttering something about needing some air and walking off. Commander Troi frowned, as she could sense anxiety and regret coming from Miles.

Castellan Dramok looked deeply surprised and Captain Picard looked highly concerned, “Miles!” Keiko called out in a concerned voice, wondering why Miles had suddenly run off.

“Castellan Dramok, we can provide other helps along with the Botanical Restoration Project,” Captain Picard spoke, quickly composing himself. “Perhaps we could have a discussion about it?”

Castellan Dramok nodded, “I’m scheduled to officiate a wedding later today, but I can take you on a tour of Cardassia City in the meantime,” he replied calmly. “That’s a good place to start, isn’t it? If you can see what needs we have, perhaps you can determine if you actually wish to help us?”

“I was also wondering if I could speak with Doctor Julian Bashir?” Captain Picard asked calmly, wondering why Bashir wasn’t there. “I _know_ it’s his wedding day, but Starfleet has requested…”

Elim scowled, “Julian doesn’t wish to talk to you because he _knows_ why you’re here,” he replied coldly, glaring at Picard. “Have you ever taken a moment to consider the _pain_ he’s been caused?”

“Captain, Legate, this is _not_ the place for this conversation,” Castellan Dramok interjected firmly, his expression upset. “Legate, why don’t you take Doctor Bashir’s son to visit him? I will take Captain Picard and his group around the city and we will all meet up later for the ceremony. All right?”

Elim nodded and Castellan Dramok turned to Picard, “Shall we?” Castellan Dramok spoke firmly.

Once the Castellan had taken the group away, Elim sighed and looked down at Ricky, “Chief O’Brien, you can come out now,” he spoke loudly, knowing Miles hadn’t gotten very far.

“I’m _not_ comfortable going against Julian,” Miles admitted as he came out of the ruins of the port’s processing center. “Picard asked me to _help_ him _talk_ to Julian, but I’m not comfortable with it.”

Elim looked thoughtful, “And you were uncomfortable because you thought I’d tell the Castellan about your past and your orders,” he reasoned calmly, gazing up at him. “I told him that you and Keiko warned me about Starfleet’s true intentions behind sending the Enterprise to Cardassia.”

Miles nodded, his expression troubled, “Where’s Julian, by the way?” he asked worriedly.

“I’ll take you and Ricky to him,” Elim replied solemnly, sighing. “I’ll explain on the way.”

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

“…Are you doing all right on the excision, Doctor Julian?” Elim heard a voice ask as he and Miles made their way down the hospital hallway to the lift that would take them up to Julian’s room.

A tired sigh filled the air, “I’m a little tired and having an extra pair of hands definitely helps,” Julian’s voice spoke calmly. “There were _definitely_ more growths than the scan showed, but I think we’ve gotten them all out. I just want to make sure we’ve gotten everything that’s abnormal…”

Miles and Elim exchanged a look and moved down the hallway, pausing in the doorway at the sight of Julian seated beside a biobed where Galen lay unconscious, intubated, supported by a respiration device, and held in place by a stasis field. Kelas was standing next to him and both of them were working together at a monitor, “Julian?” Elim asked quizzically. “ _What_ are you doing to Galen?”

“Doctor Dastra had growths in his lungs,” Julian spoke in a concerned voice, not looking up from the monitor as he spoke. “I hope you don’t mind I’ll need a nap before the ceremony later on? Doctor Parmak and I got to work quickly and I hope we’ve gotten them all. I really do… ”

Elim’s eyes widened and Kelas looked up from the monitor, a smile appearing on his face when he saw Elim with Miles and Ricky, “Well, _hello_ ,” Kelas spoke warmly. “Who are you two?”

Julian looked up just in time to see Ricky extend his arms out, “Dada,” Ricky spoke quietly.

“Go be with your son and your friends, Doctor Bashir,” Kelas spoke softly. “I can finish up.”

Sighing tiredly, Julian rose and walked over to Miles, Elim, and Ricky, “Dada,” Ricky repeated.

“Oh, _my Ricky_ ,” Julian spoke in a tired voice, smiling as he peppered Ricky’s face with kisses.

Ricky giggled, a huge smile on his face, “Miles, hi,” Julian spoke in a kind voice, smiling at his friend and immediately catching the expression on the older man’s face. “What is it?”

“Do you think we could take a walk?” Miles asked nervously. “I _need_ to talk to someone.”

Julian nodded, “We can go up to my room and I can rest while we talk,” he replied softly, sighing tiredly. “I seem to have _overdone it_ in operating on Doctor Dastra. I _hadn’t expected_ to be doing anything…”

“My dear, let me help you,” Elim said as he put an arm around Julian. “We can go as slowly as you need.”

Miles looked extremely worried, watching the two carefully whilst walking alongside them through the hospital corridors. Ricky looked perfectly happy, but Garak looked concerned while Julian looked ill.

Instead of peppering Julian with concerns or questions, however, Miles simply watched Elim settle Julian in his assigned hospital bed, “Just set Ricky on the bed,” Julian spoke softly. “I want him close to me.”

Elim obliged and Julian smiled as Ricky smiled and babbled happily, “You’re not well, are you?” Miles asked in a concerned voice, suddenly realizing that Picard’s and Starfleet’s demands were unreasonable.

“No, Miles, I’m _not_ ,” Julian replied in a tired voice, his expression sad. “I don’t know if I’ll _ever_ be well.”


	9. Three Hearts Become One Family

“I heard the Enterprise is here now,” Quark mused worriedly as he walked through the Cardassia City Marketplace with Kasidy and Rebecca while the rest of the Xhosa crew stayed at the Castellan’s residence. “I’m worried they’ll find out I shared that Starfleet caused harm to Doctor Bashir on purpose and I’ll be arrested. I’m _very_ grateful that you let me come with you as a passenger.”

Kasidy looked concerned, “You’re _not_ Starfleet, Quark, and it was _very brave_ of you to pass the information along to Garak,” she replied worriedly. “I admit that since Ben’s been gone, I’ve spent less time at the station because it’s not the same as it was. I prefer living on Bajor with Rebecca and Jake whenever he’s not working. Do you know what you’ll do when you reach Ferengar?”

“Be a merchant, I guess,” Quark replied nervously, sighing. “I have to go there for Nog’s memorial anyway and Rom suggested that I stick around afterwards. Him and Leeta…they’re _heartbroken_.”

Kasidy nodded, her expression sympathetic, “…I must say, Castellan, Cardassia has been working very hard with their remaining resources,” Picard’s voice suddenly filled the air. “I applaud you.”

Quark paused as they turned the corner and saw Castellan Dramok walking with Captain Picard, Commander Troi, Data, and Keiko through the market. Galenna was also walking with them. Around them, Cardassians worked quietly at their stalls, all of them intimidated by the Starfleet presence.

“We _haven’t_ had the luxury of sitting around and doing nothing, Captain,” Galenna spoke in a quiet voice, sighing. “Millions are _dead_ and it took _months_ to bury all the bodies. Now that we’ve done that, we’re working on taking stock of what we do have in terms of resources and people…”

Captain Picard sighed, “Starfleet wishes to help, of course, but there’s only so much they can do for a world that is not within the Federation,” he explained calmly. “There are advantages to joining…”

Castellan Dramok suddenly stopped in his tracks, “Captain, I can _tell_ that you’re not just here to invite Cardassia to join the Federation, so let’s _drop_ the act,” he spoke calmly, sighing as he gazed at Picard and Troi calmly. “You’re here because Starfleet _demands_ that Julian Bashir return to service.”

Captain Picard’s mood suddenly soured, “Castellan, Doctor Bashir was given a _direct order_ to return to service at Deep Space Nine after he delivered the supplies to Cardassia, but he has not yet returned,” he replied in a firm voice, scowling. “Disobeying a direct order is a court-martial offense and given Doctor Bashir’s illegal status, it might be enough to even send him to prison.”

“Oh, I know _all about tha_ t,” Castellan Dramok replied calmly, having been told that ages ago by his now-wife. “I also know that Doctor Bashir served honorably in the war. _What a way to treat a hero_!”

Captain Picard scowled, “He also _murdered_ a fellow Starfleet officer to save the life of a Changeling, according to Admiral Ross of Starfleet,” he spoke firmly. “He’s been on Starfleet’s radar since he got pregnant and refused to terminate it despite Captain Sisko’s recommendation! And now that he’s…?”

Kasidy’s eyes went wide, as she hadn’t known that Benjamin had told Julian to terminate his pregnancy two years earlier. She had done her best to be a friend to Julian through the experience and she had originally thought that Benjamin felt the same way, but her world was now shattered.

Castellan Dramok sighed, “And now that he’s _sick_ and possibly _dying_ at Starfleet’s hands, you want to strip him of his dignity too,” he spoke in a cold voice. “Starfleet’s _nothing more_ than a pack of _cold-blooded killers_ who have no shame in being that way. Look, I’ll allow the Botanical Restoration Project to take place, but I want the Enterprise to _leave_ once the preparatory work is done. If Starfleet wants the project to continue, they can send other ships. I know very well that you were captured by a Cardassian years ago and tortured, Captain, but your behavior has been _less than gracious_. Time clearly doesn’t heal all wounds or prejudices and you’ve clearly shown me that with your behavior.”

Captain Picard’s eyes narrowed, deeply confused, “What do you mean by _sick_?” he asked quietly, frowning because it was now clear that Julian hadn’t obeyed because of underlying circumstances.

“ _Like you care_ ,” Castellan Dramok hissed coldly. “You and Starfleet already have your minds made up about Doctor Bashir. I’m afraid I’ve got to go soon because I am officiating the enjoinment ceremony for Legate Garak and Doctor Bashir. I don’t want to stop them from being happy.”

Captain Picard’s eyes narrowed, “I _do_ care,” he insisted calmly, sighing. “I care very much about what you said because _that_ is a _mitigating circumstance_ I can use to _defend_ Doctor Bashir.”

Castellan Dramok sighed and Quark quickly stepped into their view, “Perhaps I can shed some light on the situation,” the Ferengi spoke nervously. “Doctor Bashir is my _friend_ and I want to do the right thing even if it does put Starfleet in a less than glamourous light…if you’ll care to listen.”

Captain Picard nodded, “ _I do_ ,” he replied frankly, wondering what Quark would have to say.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

“Julian?” Julian heard a soft Irish brogue speak. “Julian, you gotta wake up now. You’ll be late.”

Julian groaned as he woke and realized that he had fallen asleep shortly after returning to his hospital bed. Miles was standing beside the bed, but both Elim and Ricky were nowhere to be seen.

“Garak took Ricky to get dressed in something nice for the ceremony,” Miles explained in a concerned voice, frowning at Julian. “You don’t look so hot, Julian. How are you feeling?”

Julian sighed as he sat up, “A little groggy and weak,” he admitted. “Is it time to talk?”

“ _No_ , Julian, I don’t even want to be pitted against you,” Miles replied. “I stayed behind to help you get ready again when you woke from your rest. Some Cardassian named Doctor Parmak has also been in and he said that another Cardassian named Doctor Dastra’s okay because of what you did.”

Julian nodded, “At least _someone_ is,” he said softly. “Can you help me out of bed? I can’t be late.”

Miles obliged and Julian staggered into the bathroom, pleased to see that Elim had left the hair supplies there, “I’m _sure_ Captain Picard will want to talk to me at the wedding,” Julian mused.

“I _think_ you should just focus on the wedding,” Miles stated. “Don’t worry about Picard.”

Julian nodded and quickly styled his hair the way Elim liked it, “Will you walk me down the aisle, Miles?” he asked softly, sighing. “I really don’t have anyone else to do it, you know?”

“Of _course_ I’ll walk you down the aisle,” Miles replied, grinning. “Are you ready to go?”

Julian set the supplies aside and nodded, relieved when Miles helped him move from the room down to the corridor near the courtyard. Castellan Dramok was waiting there looking very solemn.

“It will be a simple ceremony because I have ordered Captain Picard and his crew back to their ship for the rest of the day,” Castellan Dramok spoke in a solemn voice. “A former friend of yours, a Ferengi named Quark, provided some information that Captain Picard needed to consider…”

Julian frowned, “So you _know_ …” he spoke quietly. “About me and my past…and what happened.”

“I think you’ve been through a lot of _pain and suffering_ at the hands of some _very selfish, narcissistic individuals_ and you _deserve_ happiness,” Castellan Dramok spoke thoughtfully, his expression calm as he eyed Julian. “Those who are welcome at the ceremony are waiting outside. Come.”

Deeply surprised, Julian nodded and let Miles lead him after the Castellan out into the courtyard. He was pleased to see Kasidy, Jake, Rebecca, Quark, Keiko, Molly, Yoshi, and the small crew of the Xhosa all sitting in simple chairs. Dr. Grayson-Dramok was sitting next to the Siskos and looked extremely happy to be there. Near the front of the courtyard, just in front of a small fountain, stood Elim holding Ricky in his arms. Castellan Dramok silently made his way over to Elim and Ricky.

Miles helped Julian walk down the aisle and quietly took Ricky so that Julian and Elim could focus on each other. He then sat with his family and smiled as Elim and Julian took each other’s hands.

Right before Castellan Dramok began, Kelas slipped into the courtyard and lingered at the back. He was tired from making sure Galen was comfortable after Julian had done the surgery, but Elim was his friend and he wanted to see that friend get married. Galen was drugged to the gills, but he had managed to communicate his well-wishes for the couple that Kelas hoped to pass along for him. He noticed that Galenna was lingering in the other corner and he silently ambled over to her.

“I didn’t know we needed _security_ at the wedding,” Kelas whispered. “What happened?”

Galenna sighed, “Let’s just say things between the Castellan and the Enterprise are tense right now,” she whispered softly, her expression tired. “I see Mister Sisko didn’t bring Galen here as he said…”

“Galenna, Galen’s _here_ ,” Kelas whispered. “Doctor Bashir did surgery on Galen to remove growths from his lungs. I helped Doctor Bashir because it took all of his energy…but he wanted to help.”

Galenna’s eyes widened, “Tell me which room he’s in,” she whispered. “I’ll go sit with him.”

Kelas replied softly in Kardasi and Galenna left, “We are gathered here today to celebrate the enjoinment of Elim Garak and Julian Bashir,” Castellan Dramok spoke in a kind voice, smiling at Elim and Julian. “As per tradition, each will recite the Declaration of Intent to each other and then exchange rings. Legate Garak, please recite the declaration to your intended…”

Miles’s eyes widened and he suddenly stood as he dipped into the pocket of his uniform, “When I heard you were getting married, I replicated these for you,” he said, holding out two simple gold bands with Kardasi inscribed on them. “The inscriptions say ‘love is forever’….I think.”

Julian smiled and took the rings, “Thank you, Miles,” he said, handing a ring to Elim as Miles sat.

Elim smiled being careful to be gentle as he slipped the ring on Julian’s left ring finger, “I, Elim Garak, offer all that I have in the hopes that it will be enough to win your heart and claim your love as mine,” he spoke in a quiet voice, his smile tender. “Although I have very little, I offer it freely and hope you will take it with love and trust me enough to offer all that you have to me.”

Julian’s smile and expression clearly reflected how tired he was, but his eyes sparkled with the joy he felt, “It is enough,” he replied before slipping the other ring on Elim’s scaly ring finger. “I offer all that I have in the hopes that it will be enough to win your heart and claim your love as mine. Although I have very little, I offer it freely and hope you will take it with love and trust me enough to offer all that you have to me. I also offer the life and love of my son for your keeping.”

“It is enough and I also claim your son as my blood,” Elim spoke sincerely, flashing a smile.

Castellan Dramok smiled, “With the Declaration of Intent said and accepted by both parties through tokens symbolizing the agreement, I declare you, Elim Garak and Julian Bashir, enjoined for as long as you are both alive,” he declared calmly. “The Castellan has declared it so. You may now kiss.”

Applause filled the air as Julian and Elim kissed before applying their signatures to an enjoinment contract that Castellan Dramok produced on a PADD. As the Castellan got signatures from those who had witnessed the event, Elim and Julian went over to Miles and Elim collected Ricky.

Jake quickly got to his feet with his camera, “How about pictures of the new family?” he offered. “I took some of the wedding itself, but now that you’re married…you deserve a few more.”

Elim nodded, but Julian said nothing because he was beginning to feel tired. Jake quickly took a few photos of the three and then moved off to take photos of the other guests, “Elim, I want to go _home_ ,” Julian mused softly, sighing as he leaned against his new husband. “To our house…please?”

A thoughtful expression crossed Elim’s face and he nodded, “We can have the reception there, but you are going to _rest_ until then even if I have to tie you to the bed,” he spoke in a firm voice.

Julian smirked, “We need to get my things from the room before we go,” he spoke softly.

“Castellan, if you would please tell all the guests that the reception will be at our residence, I will be helping Julian gather his things from his hospital room,” Elim spoke, gazing at the Castellan.

Castellan Dramok nodded as Elim led Julian back into the hospital while holding tight to Ricky.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Nearly half an hour later, Julian allowed Elim to help him into the bed within the master bedroom of the Legate’s residence where Elim lived. The spare bedroom, a place where Julian had spent his time recovering from his pain and alcoholism, was to be converted into a secure bedroom for Ricky.

All of Julian’s things sat on the dresser except for Kukulaka, who sat securely in Julian’s arms because the man didn’t yet have the strength to hold his son. Determined to make sure Julian would rest peacefully, Elim lay on the other side of the bed with Ricky on his lap and a novel in hand.

It hadn’t taken much for Julian to go back to sleep, though, and so Elim simply read the novel to Ricky in Standard in hopes it would encourage the child to speak and understand language and communication. Elim personally had no qualms about adopting a child with learning disabilities because it could and would be overcome with the help of parental love and the learning systems that Cardassia had despite losing many teachers. 

A knock sounded at the door and Elim set the novel aside before looking at Ricky, “Well, my little one, it seems our company is here,” he spoke in a kind voice. “Do you want to help me greet them?”

Ricky smiled and so Elim got up with the toddler in his arms, leaving Julian to rest as they went to the front door. Elim opened the door to find Quark, Kasidy, Rebecca, Jake, Miles, Keiko, Molly, and Yoshi there, “The Castellan and his wife had some business to tend to, but I came to put together a meal for us all to share,” Quark explained. “As you can see, they all _insisted_ on coming with me.”

“You’re welcome to utilize the kitchen and the yard,” Elim spoke calmly. “Julian’s resting.”

The group filed into the house and Elim was surprised to see them carrying supplies that looked as if they had come from the market, “I’ll work on the food,” Quark quickly spoke. “Go work outside.”

Elim watched as Quark went into the kitchen while the rest of the group went out to the yard with their supplies. The Cardassian wasn’t fooled; he could tell that Quark was grieving over the loss of Nog and had tried to come alone so he could have space, but the others hadn’t let him do that.

* * *

* * *

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* * *

* * *

* * *

_Perhaps the Castellan has a point._ Captain Picard thought as he sat in his Ready Room aboard the Enterprise with a cup of Earl Grey tea in hand, musing about his time with the Castellan. He had merely been following orders when it came to offering Cardassia Federation membership and trying to get a hold of Doctor Bashir, but it was _obvious_ that Starfleet had either missed or not given him the full picture.

“ _Captain, we’re receiving an incoming message from Starfleet Command_ ,” Riker’s voice suddenly filled the air. “ _It’s Admiral Ross. He’s insisting upon speaking with you personally_.”

Captain Picard sighed, “Put it through to my Ready Room,” he replied in a somber voice.

A few minutes passed before Admiral Ross’s face appeared on the screen, “ _Captain Picard, you should have Doctor Bashir in your custody by now_ ,” he spoke in a calm voice.

“Actually, I don’t and I have _concerns_ about whether or not it would be a good idea to take him away from Cardassia,” Captain Picard replied in a concerned tone, frowning. “It seems he has gotten married to a Legate here and is also struggling with an illness that he had since before the war ended.”

An expression of pure disgust filled Admiral Ross’s face, “ _Bashir married that Cardassian tailor from the station_?!” he hissed in a cold voice. “ _We gave that Cardassian free run because there was a war happening and he was able to work for us, but I certainly didn’t expect Bashir to run off and marry him. First, he kills a Starfleet officer and then he runs off and marries a Cardassian!”_

Captain Picard frowned, but said nothing because he didn’t know what to say, “ _At this point, I can see no further option than to initiate court-martial proceedings against Doctor Bashir_ ,” Admiral Ross spoke in a formal voice. “ _Can you handle it? I’m busy overseeing help for Federation worlds_.”

Picard opened his mouth to protest, but Admiral Ross nodded, “ _Good_ ,” he replied. “ _Ross out_.”

Sighing heavily, Captain Picard put in a call to the Castellan’s residence, “ _Captain Picard_ ,” Castellan Dramok spoke in an indifferent tone as he appeared on the screen. “ _I just filed the enjoinment contract with the proper authorities and so Doctor Bashir is legally married to Legate Garak…”_

“Admiral Ross of Starfleet wants me to initiate court-martial proceedings against Doctor Bashir,” Captain Picard explained grimly. “I would _appreciate_ your help in requesting his cooperation.”

Castellan Dramok scowled, “ _You do understand that by becoming enjoined to a Cardassian citizen, Doctor Bashir and his son have automatically inherited Cardassian citizenship themselves_?” he asked in a cold voice. “ _My wife will help him become registered to practice medicine here, so he has no need for Starfleet or Federation bigotry anymore. Besides, today is his wedding day and he has the right to enjoy it. If you wish to talk to him, it will have to be on another day and in my presence.”_

Captain Picard was silent for a very long time before he nodded, “Agreed,” he replied calmly. “Do you think it would be a problem if my crew and I came to offer our congratulations to them?”

“ _No, as long as you behave yourselves, it’s fine_ ,” Castellan Dramok replied calmly. “ _I’ll give you the coordinates to the reception site and you and a limited party can come in your dress uniforms.”_

Captain Picard nodded, desperate to salvage the poor impression he had made earlier. What he didn’t know, however, was that Admiral Ross was already making plans of his own to deal with Julian because it was _clear_ Picard wouldn't do it himself.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Quiet weeping filled the air, prompting Julian to wake and realize that he had actually gotten a decent rest. He slowly got out of bed and followed the weeping, deeply surprised when he saw Quark working in the kitchen with his back to the door, “Quark?” Julian asked in a groggy voice.

The Ferengi, however, didn’t reply and continued sniffling while preparing whatever he was making, so Julian moved to where he could see him. Quark was indeed crying quietly while preparing what looked like a very delicious stew, “Are you all right?” Julian asked in a quiet, concerned voice.

“Not really, but it’s not like I can show it,” Quark replied shakily. “Too many people around.”

Julian nodded, his expression concerned, “Are you thinking about Nog?” he asked gently.

Quark nodded and sighed weakly, his expression sour, “Starfleet wouldn’t even hold a service for him simply because there was nothing left,” he mused bitterly. “They left it to Rom and Rom’s busy being the Grand Nagus, so neither he nor Leeta have time or energy to organize anything. We’ll have something when I make it there, though, because I’ll organize it. Nog was like a son to me.”

“It’s _okay_ to grieve, you know,” Julian mused softly. “You don’t _have_ to _pretend_ that you’re _not_ sad.”

Quark looked thoughtful, “It’s _your_ wedding day, you’re sick as a dog, and you’re giving _me_ advice for my problems?” he asked in a quiet, but surprised voice. “That’s really kind of you…”

The sound of transporter energy suddenly filled the air and Julian frowned as moved to the back door just in time to see Captain Picard, Commander Riker, Commander Troi, Doctor Crusher, Data, and Geordi materialize in the far corner of the yard wearing dress uniforms and carrying containers. Julian watched as the group walked over to Elim, who was holding Ricky while talking with Miles Keiko, Kasidy, and Rebecca, looking rather apologetic. The group talked for a few minutes, while everyone else set up things around them, and Elim offered them all a smile.

“Maybe they’ve come to enjoy your reception,” Quark spoke calmly from behind. “I _know_ you’re nervous, but you _should_ go out. You don’t have to pretend to be happy if you don’t want to be, but _you_ did just get married and your son is back with you. Aren’t those things worth celebrating?”

Julian sighed and nodded, exhaling softly before he stepped out into the yard whilst smoothing his hair down. Elim spotted him almost immediately and passed Ricky to Miles before coming over.

“It’s good to see you awake and walking around, my dear,” Elim spoke warmly, gently embracing him before stroking his cheek. “We seem to have some extra guests for the reception…”

Julian nodded, “I’m sure they mean no harm, Elim,” he spoke softly. “Let’s just _enjoy_ today.”

Elim studied Julian briefly before nodding calmly, “I haven’t forgotten about the trouble I’m probably in, but let’s just have this day,” Julian continued, smiling. “We’re _married_ now…”

“ _Yes_ , Julian, we _are_ ,” Elim replied, smiling tenderly. “While you were napping, I filled out the adoption paperwork and sent it to the Castellan. We also need to talk about the family surname.”

Julian didn’t hesitate, “Bashir-Garak,” he replied softly, smiling. “We’ll use both our names.”

Music suddenly filled the air and the two turned to see that the attendees from the Enterprise had brought some food, a music player, and some simple presents, “Dance with me, Julian,” Elim spoke in a warm voice, sighing. “The day is beautiful and warm, as are you. A perfect time to dance.”

As the two began to engage in a slow dance, the Castellan and his wife came out of the house and into the yard after being granted access by Quark. Jake immediately began taking photos of the dance and décor while the Castellan and his wife walked over to the crowd on the other side of the yard.

Castellan Dramok and Captain Picard eyed each other warily before exchanging a cordial nod; they would discuss the more serious matter of Julian Bashir _later_. Today was a day to be _enjoyed_.

The current song ended and Elim led Julian over to the group, knowing it was important for them to socialize with their guests. Instead of engaging in conversation, however, Elim sat them down on the bench and motioned for everyone to come to them. Julian had rested, but he was still quite weak and so Elim knew he had to do whatever he could to make his now-husband as comfortable as possible.

“How about a group photo?” Jake suggested eagerly, smiling. “So we can all remember the day?”

Murmurs of agreement filled the air and Miles deposited Ricky in Elim’s lap before taking his place next to his family. Seeing what they were doing, Quark came out and joined the crowd surrounding Elim, Julian, Ricky. Jake set the camera up to a timer and joined the photo in the nick of time. Little did everyone know that this happy day and feelings of love would soon be shattered by indifference.


	10. Ethical Dissonance

It was nearly a week before Julian was well enough to do more than just spend time in bed with Elim and Ricky as close as possible. The Enterprise had stayed in orbit of Cardassia and from what Elim had observed in his daily walks of the market for supplies, the senior staff was merely getting the lay of the land and assessing the needs without offering criticisms. Elim, meanwhile, had invited the O’Brien family over to the house quite often. While he and Keiko worked on the Botanical Restoration Project, Julian and Ricky had the chance to visit with Miles, Molly, and Yoshi.

The crew of the _Xhosa_ , however, had gone because they needed to deliver Quark to Ferenginar. All except for Jake, as Jake had decided to stay and continue his news work on Cardassia for a time. He was staying at the Castellan’s residence and had found a friend and Security escort in one of Galenna’s junior officers: a Cardassian named Malko Marratt who was about Julian’s age. Malko had lost his wife and unborn child when Lakarian City had been reduced to ashes. He was also a friend of Galen’s; the two of them lived in the Capital’s Tent City and looked out for one another.

Such thoughts made Elim tired and he had slept soundly all night. As he lay there, allowing himself to slowly wake, he heard Julian’s soft voice in the living room along with Ricky’s pleasant cooing.

Sighing tiredly, the Cardassian forced himself to get up and wandered into the living room. Julian was laying on the couch cuddling Ricky while reading a children’s book to him quietly. Ricky, who was wearing Cardassian clothes that Elim had bought him along with other things for toddlers, was smiling and giggling every so often because Julian would stop reading and gently tickle him.

“Good morning, Elim,” Julian spoke warmly, looking up at him. “Ricky was up _early_ this morning.”

Elim nodded, “You were both already in bed last night when I got home from my meetings, so I didn’t get a chance to mention that Galen put in a request with the Castellan’s wife to see you,” he spoke in a calm voice. “Galen’s still in the hospital because Kelas refuses to let him recover in Tent City and everyone’s trying to find housing for him where he can get proper support.”

“Perhaps we should all go and visit Doctor Dastra, then,” Julian spoke quietly, sitting up with Ricky and setting the book aside. “We already ate a meal and I left a portion of it in the kitchen for you.”

Elim sighed, “Julian, the Castellan’s wife also wanted to talk to you about the surgery you did for Galen and she wants to see us rather soon, so I will eat later,” he spoke calmly. “All right?

“I _know_ it was unauthorized, but I couldn’t just sit and do nothing when it was within my power to help,” Julian replied, lifting Ricky to his shoulder as he got to his feet. “I’m ready if you are.”

Elim nodded, his expression content, “We have to go by the government office and collect your identification and credit chip anyway,” he replied. “Now that we’re _married_ , you’ll need them.”

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

_“I got you out of prison and made you the new commander of Deep Space Nine in exchange for you doing what I asked. You do what I ask and the station is yours. Fail, and I’ll make sure you die.”_

Admiral Ross’s words filled Stephen Drammell’s mind as he materialized in an alley just outside of the marketplace with two masked individuals that the Admiral had sent with him to help apprehend their target if necessary. Newly minted Captain Drammell knew, however, that the individuals were there to make sure he didn’t fail. Julian Bashir, Admiral Ross had said, was a _threat_ who needed to be captured, contained, and taken to where none would have to be endangered or bothered by him.

Drammell sighed: he had been arrested by Starfleet for trying to abscond during the war when all active duty personnel were being conscripted. He had been imprisoned in the penal colony in New Zealand and there, he had met a man named Richard Bashir. Richard had ranted about how upset he was that he had fallen on his sword for his illegally enhanced son only to find that his son had taken up with a Cardassian and was raising a bastard child. Drammell recalled becoming friends with the man and now that he himself was free, he wondered if he could be of help to his former cellmate.

During one of his parole hearings, Drammell had mentioned Julian Bashir and Admiral Ross had stated that Julian Bashir was an illegal individual who only had value because there was a war. The conversations about Julian Bashir had continued, Drammell remembered, and one day, after the war had ended, Admiral Ross had approached him with a request to do a job in exchange for a posting.

The market was quiet, Drammell observed as he inched out of the alley and tried to look as if he were just browsing and part of the Enterprise crew. Admiral Ross had hired a ship to get them to Cardassia, but that ship had one advantage that many did not; it was equipped with a cloaking device that had been gotten off the black market. It was also equipped with unusual torture equipment and the captain of the vessel allegedly didn’t care about anything except getting paid for their time.

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, Drammell spotted Julian walking through the market with a toddler in a Cardassian stroller and Elim at his side. The three were wearing Cardassian clothes and talking pleasantly while watching the toddler. Drammell watched them pass by before turning and heading off into one of the buildings just on the other side of the market. He tapped his combadge.

“I have the package in sight,” Drammell reported softly. “We’ll prepare to move in.”

Quickly motioning for his accomplices to follow, Drammell walked the path the couple had tread.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

“…I had _no choice_ but to bring your things, Galen. The _nutters_ were trying to steal them…”

A sigh filled the air as Julian and Elim entered Galen’s hospital room with Ricky just in time to see Galen scowl at a male Cardassian who was sitting at his bedside, “ _Stop apologizing_ , Malko,” Galen spoke in a tired voice. “What little I have, I value deeply. You were right to bring it here.”

“ _What_ are you doing here, Officer Marratt?” Elim asked quietly. “You work for Galenna.”

The male Cardassian scoffed as he looked at Elim, Julian, and Ricky, “Galenna sends her staff where she pleases them to be and she asked me to look after Doctor Dastra today,” he explained curtly before nodding pleasantly at Julian. “Malko Marratt, Cardassian Security Forces. And you are?”

“Julian Bashir-Garak,” Julian replied calmly. “Legate Garak and I got married a week ago.”

Officer Marratt grinned, “Oh, _yes_ …it’s been the _talk_ of the city!” he replied enthusiastically.

“Malko, go and tell Doctor Grayson-Dramok that Doctor Bashir-Garak is here, will you?” Galen spoke in a tired voice, sighing. “And take Elim with you. I want to visit with the doctor a moment.”

Elim sighed, “I’ll take Ricky so you and Galen can visit in peace,” he spoke, collecting Ricky. “I have to go get Kelas to register his records with the Cardassian health system anyway.”

Julian nodded and wandered over to the bed as the two Cardassians left the room with the toddler in tow, “Kelas told me that you operated on me while he assisted,” Galen spoke softly.

“I knew what was wrong and I knew I could help you, so I did,” Julian replied, his expression calm as he took a seat beside the bed so Galen didn’t have to move. “How are you feeling today?”

Galen sighed tiredly, “ _Very_ weak and tired, but able to breathe better than I have in a long time,” he explained in a tired voice, his expression tired. “And how are you doing? Your treatments…”

“I suppose I should talk to someone about those, shouldn’t I?” Julian asked softly. “I…”

Before Galen could reply, Dr. Grayson-Dramok came into the room, “Ah, Doctor Bashir-Garak,” she spoke in a warm voice, smiling at Julian. “Galen, do you mind if I borrow him for a moment?”

“Go ahead,” Galen responded softly. “I’m thinking of taking a nap before breakfast is served.”

Julian nodded and kept very quiet as he rose and followed his former doctor from the room. They walked to the nearby common area, which was in the process of being rebuilt and thus, was still half outside. The air was warm, so it didn’t bother either of them to be out there.

“I wanted to talk to you about what you did for Doctor Dastra despite not feeling good yourself,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok spoke in a calm voice, sighing. “It was a very kind thing for you to do…”

Suddenly, Drammell and his masked associates materialized in the common area after following Julian and Elim to the hospital and tracking Julian’s signal, “Julian Bashir, you’re _under arrest_ by order of Starfleet Command,” Drammell stated coldly, aiming a phaser at Julian.

“I’m a Cardassian citizen by marriage!” Julian replied anxiously, his eyes wide. “I don’t…”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok scowled and got in front of Julian, but she was grabbed by Drammell’s accomplices and pulled away from Julian, “You’re nothing but a _disgusting Augment_ who deserves to _die_ ,” Drammell spoke coldly before lunging at him and grabbing him into a headlock.

Julian struggled to get free, but Drammell dropped the phaser and quickly procured a hypospray out of his pocket and jabbed it into Julian’s neck, “LET’S GO!” he howled, looking at his accomplices.

The masked accomplices shoved Dr. Grayson-Dramok against the far wall, sending her to the ground in a heap before moving towards Julian. Dr. Grayson-Dramok, however, didn’t stay down for long and she grabbed one of the accomplices, managing to hold them back despite her smaller frame. She saw a combadge on their chest, managing to knock it off the person before being shoved away again.

“Energize!” Drammell shouted anxiously as Julian passed out from whatever was in the hypospray.

Dr. Grayson-Dramok swore loudly as the two others dematerialized with Julian in tow. She began to fight with the masked person, unaware that Kelas and Elim had heard the shouting and had arrived just in time to see Julian be beamed away. Ricky, thankfully, hadn’t seen it because Elim had left him inside with a nurse Kelas trusted to help, “Julian!” Elim called out anxiously, his eyes wide.

“Elim, go call the Ministry of Justice and the Castellan!” Kelas snapped. “We have to act fast!”

Elim, however, gazed at the spot where Julian had been beamed away from in a daze, “ _Picard_ ,” he hissed in a cold voice, anger suddenly filling his face. “He _planned_ this! He is _responsible_!”

Dr. Grayson-Dramok moved over to Elim with shaky steps, beginning to feel sore from hitting the wall, “My dear Mary, you’re _injured_ ,” Elim spoke, suddenly noticing her shaky steps.”

Swallowing hard, Dr. Grayson-Dramok continued over to the communications terminal and painstakingly pressed a few buttons, “This is Lady Dramok,” she spoke in a shaky voice. “Doctor Julian Bashir-Garak has been abducted by Starfleet officers. I want every single member of the Enterprise crew who is currently on the planet detained and the ship ordered to land at the Port. I also want Security officers to the hospital to investigate the crime as soon as you can get them here!”

Tears filled her eyes as she heard acknowledgment of her orders, “Doctor Parmak, stay here so the scene of the crime remains undisrupted,” she spoke in a firm voice. “Excuse me.”

Elim, however, followed Dr. Grayson-Dramok inside and saw her struggling not to cry and throw up while making her way down the corridor, “Mary, you’ve been through something _traumatic_ and you witnessed a kidnapping,” he spoke worriedly. “Perhaps you should sit down and breathe?”

“Elim, I must do my duty even in times of crisis,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok replied shakily, giving Elim a look. “I am the Castellan’s wife and I share his power and his burdens. I also share authority…”

Suddenly, Dr. Grayson-Dramok’s voice crumbled and Elim silently embraced her in the fashion that siblings would. He knew it was socially appropriate and it seemed that his dear friend needed it.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

“I assure you that neither me nor my crew had anything to do with Doctor Bashir-Garak’s abduction!” Captain Picard spoke in an upset voice as he sat at a table within the Ministry of Justice after he, Riker, Geordi, Data, and Troi had been detained and brought in for questioning. “We have been assessing the needs your people have so we can make a detailed report to Starfleet…”

Castellan Dramok scoffed, his expression angry, “If you were so eager to make peace, why did you not accept the invitation to stay at my residence like the O’Brien family did?” he asked coldly. “It is _quite an honor_ to be asked to stay at a residence on Cardassia and you refused it quite rudely.”

Just then, Miles came into the room with Galenna, having been summoned to the meeting, “I just heard what happened to Julian,” he spoke in a concerned voice, frowning. “Who took him?”

“Security officers are investigating the scene and also talking to the witnesses,” Castellan Dramok replied in a calm huff, sighing. “I would not mind your assistance with the investigation….”

A beep filled the room, “ _Castellan, we have identified the combadge as belonging to a Starfleet officer named Stephen Drammell who was last listed as being a prisoner at the New Zealand Penal Colony_ ,” a brisk voice spoke. “ _There are also DNA traces from an Admiral William Ross on it.”_

“New Zealand Penal Colony?” Miles replied worriedly. “Julian’s father was there a while back.”

Castellan Dramok nodded, “I’m _already aware_ of Doctor Bashir-Garak’s genetic status and it’s _irrelevant_ to his status here,” he replied firmly. “He is a citizen of Cardassia who has been abducted by Starfleet officers. The only Starfleet officers I know of that are here are _you and your crew_!”

“Stephen Drammell is _not_ on my crew and Admiral Ross is _supposed_ to be the interim head of Starfleet Command and too busy to be this far out!” Captain Picard replied angrily. “Counselor, can you sense Doctor Bashir-Garak at all?”

Castellan Dramok looked at Deanna quizzically, “I’m not sure,” she admitted softly, frowning. “I sense a lot of intense emotions by individuals who are nearby, but I can’t determine where they are.”

“Castellan, please allow the Enterprise to prove our innocence in this situation by letting us use our ship to investigate,” Captain Picard spoke in a concerned voice. “We have many resources that…”

Castellan Dramok sighed irritably, “Legate Garak is Doctor Bashir-Garak’s next of kin and he has the right to decide who is involved in the search for his husband,” he replied. “It’s Cardassian law.”

“Then please allow us to go to the hospital…” Captain Picard began as Miles cleared his throat.

Miles sighed, “ _I’ll_ go talk to Garak,” he commented anxiously. “I’ll be able to get through to him.”

“And this group of officers can keep me company while you do,” Castellan Dramok spoke in a commanding voice, nodding at Miles. “And _do_ check on my wife while you’re there, will you?”

Miles nodded and bowed as he left the room nervously, well aware that he was on thin ice with both Picard and Starfleet because he had chosen to stay on the planet rather than stay on the ship.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Julian’s brain was foggy as he slowly regained consciousness and immediately found himself staring up at an old style surgical lamp. He tried to move, but he found himself firmly bound in place.

“What in Prophet’s name is _he_ doing here?!” a cold voice suddenly asked. “I _didn’t_ agree to this!”

A growl filled the air, “You agreed to take me and the Admiral to Cardassia so we could do some _important business_ , you _half-breed trash_ ,” a voice hissed. “I didn’t say it was to capture a dangerous Augment criminal because I _know_ you don’t see people as cargo, but Starfleet does…”

“I’m _not_ agreeing to this,” the same cold voice, distinctly female, replied firmly. “Let him go.”

The sound of a slap filled the air and Julian suddenly felt himself being raised enough that he could see the man who grabbed him along with an anxious looking half-Bajoran, Humanoid woman standing near him. The woman looked nervous and uncertain, but the man looked angry. A red handprint was on the woman’s cheek and Julian could immediately tell that the man had slapped her.

“Good to see you awake,” Drammell spoke in a cold voice. “This is Captain Myrina Staveli of the cargo vessel _Lionheart_ and she and her crew are the ones you should _thank_ for us getting here.”

Myrina glared at Drammell, “I _didn’t know_ we’d be helping with a kidnapping!” she argued in an upset voice. “Now that you have him, what do you plan to do with him? He doesn’t seem…”

“I have a _date_ with my new job at Deep Space Nine and my first act as station commander will be to torture every bit of useful information out of this worthless Augment and then kill him in the name of making Starfleet safer!” Drammell crowed coldly, smirking. “Besides, Richard Bashir asked me to. He used to go on and on about how his worthless brat wouldn’t let him be a grandfather and took up with some _slutty_ Cardassian! I _didn’t see_ a Cardassian or a kid when we grabbed _him_ , though.”

Julian swallowed hard, horrified beyond belief that his own father would corroborate with Starfleet to _kidnap, torture, and eventually kill_ him just because he was an Augment, “My child’s on Earth,” he lied in a groggy voice, knowing he had to lie to keep Starfleet away from Elim and Ricky. “Starfleet ordered me to give him up after the war was over because I was dangerous…I _am_ …”

Offering a mocking laugh, Drammell backhanded Julian hard across the face, breaking his nose and causing it to bleed, “ _DID I SAY YOU COULD SPEAK, AUGMENT?_!” he shouted angrily. “Richard always _said_ that you had a loose tongue and didn’t know when to shut your mouth!”

“Captain Drammell, we’ll be getting underway soon,” Myrina spoke softly. “Go get settled…”

Swearing, Drammell left the room and Julian watched as Myrina took a communicator and spoke a different language into it. What he didn’t know, however, was that she was ordering her crew to sabotage the engines so they could stay dead in the water for as long as possible. She knew they were under cloak, but she could at least keep the Lionheart from leaving Cardassian space until she could figure out a way to get Julian off the ship without angering Admiral Ross or Captain Drammell.

Tears filled Julian’s eyes and he began to weep whilst fighting the effects of the sedative. Myrina silently took a rag from a stack of rags that were on the counter in what she had used for her ship’s Sickbay ever since getting the ship. She walked over to Julian and began to clean his face up.

As Julian lay there, fighting the effects of what he realized was a near overdose of sedative, Myrina sighed anxiously, “ _Julian,_ ” a soft voice suddenly filled the air. “ _Julian_ , it’s been _so long_ …”

Myrina turned just in time to see Sarina Douglas, who had been recruited by Admiral Ross to help handle their little ‘problem’ come into the room. Sarina smiled, but Julian’s expression was one of groggy terror; he knew immediately what she was looking for and he had miscarried it a while back.

“Julian, my _darling_ ,” Sarina cooed, caressing Julian’s face. “Was it a boy or a girl? My baby.”

Julian cringed and Myrina’s expression was one of disbelief and horror. _He was a Carrier?!_

“I…I _lost it_ after AR-558,” Julian managed to speak in a sleepy voice, the sedative quickly pulling him into a state of oblivion that was impacting his ability to think clearly. “It was an…ectopic…”

Sarina was very quiet and she frowned, “You…you’re _lying_ …” she stammered. “The formula…”

“I…I almost died,” Julian spoke sleepily, his expression drooping. “I’m _sleepy_ …”

Sarina’s eyes widened in anger, “Tell me where my baby is!” she shouted. “Stop lying!”

Julian promptly passed out, the sedative sending him back into unconsciousness. Sarina swore and stormed from the room, not stopping until she reached the conference room where Drammell and Admiral Ross were arguing about the ship’s poor condition. Almost immediately, they stopped and looked at her questioningly. Sarina’s expression was one of determination and calculated rage.

“Julian’s _lying_ about the baby I put in him,” Sarina growled. “Where’s the truth serum you have?”

Admiral Ross produced it from his pocket, “The ship’s experiencing technical difficulties, so we may be stuck here under cloak for a while,” he explained grimly. “We might have to begin the interrogation sooner than anticipated. I had _hoped_ that we could use the technology at Deep Space Nine, but that…”

“I’ll _work on_ Myrina,” Drammell growled, scoffing. “I will _make_ her get this ship running.”

Tears filled Sarina’s eyes, “I just want my baby!” she wept. “He _promised_ me he would carry it!”

“We’ll get to that matter, but we have to know why he was on Cardassia _against orders_ first,” Admiral Ross replied in a firm voice, sighing. “Captain Drammell, is Bashir awake?”

Sarina paused, “He’s passed out,” she explained softly. “Captain Staveli is with him.”

Admiral Ross, however, merely reached into his pocket and produced a small shocking device, “ _This_ will wake him,” he spoke in a cold voice, his expression stern. “I’ll begin the interrogation now.”

Deeply intrigued, Drammell and Sarina followed Admiral Ross through the ship and stopped only when they were back in the interrogation room, “Captain Staveli, perhaps you ought to go ensure that your crew are working on getting the ship functioning as quickly as they can,” Admiral Ross snipped.

Myrina frowned at them, but Drammell came forward and grabbed her away from Julian, “Get _going_!” Drammell snarled in an angry voice, ignoring her whimpers of pain. “Or else!”

As Myrina was shoved from the room, Admiral Ross marched over to Julian and jabbed him in the side with the device. Julian whimpered, but promptly woke at feeling the shock jar his system.

“It’s time for some _truth_ between us,” Admiral Ross spoke coldly, holding up the hypo that contained a truth serum he had acquired through abusing his authority. “ _Why_ were you on Cardassia?!”

Julian, however, squinted at Admiral Ross as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing, “I don’t know what you mean,” he finally responded in a weak, groggy voice. “Where am I?”

“Since you’re _determined_ to lie, it’s time for more _drastic_ measures,” Admiral Ross spoke sharply.

It took only seconds to hit Julian’s neck with the hypospray, but before Admiral Ross could ask questions, Julian suddenly began to convulse and vomit violently while shivering uncontrollably. Sarina screamed anxiously and Drammell swore, as even _he_ was horrified and disgusted by Ross’s pure cruelty.

Instead of backing down, however, Admiral Ross began administering the shocking device into Julian’s side repeatedly in hopes of stopping the seizure, “Are you _mad?!”_ Drammell shouted. “You are _mad_!”

“ _You_ wanted him dead anyway!” Admiral Ross shouted angrily. “I’m just _speeding up_ the process!”

Suddenly, Julian stopped seizing and went limp while twitching at random intervals in response to the electrical shocks coursing through his body. His eyes were glazed over and his expression was neutral.

“ _Worthless waste of space_ ,” Admiral Ross growled before pocketing the shocker and leaving the room.

Sarina spat at Julian and left the room, but Drammell remained behind because he was suddenly feeling very uneasy about what he had agreed to be involved in. At first, it had _seemed_ like fun, until it _wasn’t. I dodged the Dominion War draft because I was afraid of killing and now look what I've done to this man because Starfleet said he was dangerous._ He thought bitterly.

It was only the sight of Julian managing slow, weak breaths that kept Drammell from crying right then and there.


	11. Panic and Pandemonium

**Two Days Later**

_Knock, knock, knock._

Elim Garak-Bashir scoffed irritably as he rose from the couch with the sleeping Ricky in his arms and went to the door. He and Ricky were both very much distressed and sleep-deprived because the loss of Julian had hurt them both. To his surprise, he found Chief O’Brien at the door.

“Garak, I thought I’d come check on you,” Miles spoke calmly. “How are you two doing?”

Elim scoffed before moving away from the door, signalling to Miles that he was welcome inside, “The Castellan requested that I stay out of the public eye during the investigation for my own safety and for our son’s,” he spoke in a tired voice. “I am kept apprised of everything, of course.”

Miles frowned, “If you ever need a break, Keiko and I are still staying with the Castellan and his wife and we can take care of Ricky so you can rest,” he offered worriedly. “It has to be a _lot_ …”

“When Julian and I became enjoined, I legally adopted Ricky as my own and it is _my_ responsibility to care for him while Julian is not here,” Elim replied firmly, sighing. “This child may have some difficulties, but it is nothing I cannot manage. Ricky is unusually perceptive and seems to _sense_ when I need him to behave. He is also _quite_ upset at times, but we endure those times together.”

Miles nodded, “Um, I also came by because Counselor Troi expressed concern that you might need someone to talk to about all this,” he spoke quietly. “You’ve had work on the project and Ricky to keep you busy, she knows, but she’s worried about your mental and emotional well-being.”

“A _counselor_?” Elim spoke in a tired voice. “Chief O’Brien, _really_. I see _no need_ to communicate with the crew of the Enterprise any more than I already have. I gave my permission for them to participate in the investigation even if they have to leave the planet. I communicate with Keiko as the project requires and I communicate with others as I need to. I see _no need_ to leave the house.”

Miles suddenly went quiet as Ricky woke and looked up at Elim, “Well, good morning, little one,” Elim spoke in a quieter voice, smiling at the toddler. “Let’s have some _breakfast_ , shall we?”

Ricky babbled and Elim proceeded into the kitchen. Miles followed just in time to see Elim settle Ricky in a Cardassian-style highchair with some simple oatmeal, “You must have been up for hours to have that ready,” Miles spoke quietly, watching as Elim sat and began feeding Ricky.

“ _Yes,_ ” Elim replied in a deadened voice, sighing. “I _tried_ to sleep, but I didn’t get more than two hours before I was awake. In the week since we’ve been married, we’ve grown _used_ to each other.”

Miles nodded and Elim suddenly cringed as he felt pain surge through his chest, “What?” Miles asked in a concerned voice, frowning when Elim massaged his chest. “Are you all right?”

“I’m having a small anxiety attack,” Elim admitted in a quiet voice, exhaling. “I have had them once every hour since Julian was taken and I should rest, but I have responsibilities to attend to.”

Elim set the food aside and exhaled weakly, his expression pained, “Do you want me to call for medical assistance?” Miles asked in a worried voice, frowning. “You don’t look so good.”

“I do _believe_ that would be _useful_ ,” Elim replied in a pained voice, clutching his chest.

Miles quickly hurried into the living room and accessed the comms terminal to call for help.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Half an hour later, Elim found himself resting in a bed at the hospital while Miles sat on a chair beside the bed with Ricky in his lap. Kelas was lingering at the biobed’s control console, sighing as he had just learned from a scan that Elim had suffered a panic attack caused by lack of self-care.

“It was just an anxiety attack this time,” Kelas spoke in a calm voice. “Elim, you need _help_.”

Elim sighed weakly, but didn’t argue because he knew Kelas was right, “I know you’re not fond of Picard’s crew, but they have a counselor…something you _need_ ,” Kelas stated gently. “Since your husband’s abduction, Commander Troi has been frequently visiting the planet and has actually been talking to a few individuals. If you’d like, I can arrange for her to talk with you.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a single parent right now,” Elim replied in a tired voice.

Kelas sighed, “I think you and Ricky should both take a respite somewhere,” he spoke in a gentle voice, gazing up at his friend. “I know for a fact you haven’t left the house in two days.”

“And where _exactly_ would I take Ricky?” Elim asked softly. “He _doesn’t like_ unfamiliar…”

Miles sighed, “Maybe you could take him to one of the holodecks on the Enterprise and spend some time relaxing together,” he suggested calmly. “They’re still in orbit doing their investigation…”

It was then that Elim caught the expression on Miles’s face, “What?” he asked in a groggy voice.

“ _Elim_ , take your son and go to the Enterprise for a break,” Kelas spoke firmly. “Please?”

Elim sighed, but sat up and eyed Chief O’Brien, “Am I right in assuming you’ve already told Captain Picard of your idea?” he asked groggily. “If you hadn’t already gotten permission, you…”

“He’s set aside a holodeck for you and Ricky,” Miles finished calmly. “Just give it a chance, Garak.”

Elim nodded, his expression resigned, “ _Fine_ ,” he replied in a tone of defeat and utter disdain.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

_“I’ve about had it with this garbage crew and this garbage ship! Get it working NOW!”_

Julian suddenly felt a hand brush his face as he slowly regained consciousness and found himself staring up into Sarina’s eyes. He suddenly felt cold fill his body. Where was he?

“ _My Julian_ , you’re going to try again,” Sarina spoke soothingly. “We’ll try _it all_ again.”

Julian froze, his expression one of horror as he quickly deduced that he wasn’t wearing any clothes at all, “I…I _can’t_ ,” he spoke in a trembling voice. “ _Please_ , Sarina…I’m _cold_ …I have no clothes…”

“Augments are _stronger_ than a little cold,” Sarina cooed. “You’re in my quarters. I took your clothes because you’re so much more pretty to look at without them. I want you to give me a baby.”

Julian’s eyes widened and he whimpered, forcing his battered body up and out of what he realized was a bed, “ _No_ ,” he spoke in a trembling voice. “Give…give me my clothes… _please…_.”

As Sarina advanced on him, pressing him into the wall, Julian let out a scream of agony loud enough that it prompted the door to open and Drammell to poke his head in. He knew that Admiral Ross had given Sarina leeway, but he now wanted to talk to Julian himself and learn what he told Cardassia.

“Cover that _thing_ up and let’s go,” Drammell hissed in a disgusted voice. “Admiral Ross wants him.”

Sarina pouted, but collected Julian’s Cardassian clothes from the floor, “Get dressed,” she ordered.

Wondering how long he had been in Sarina’s room, Julian shakily dressed and nearly toppled over as he shakily moved towards Drammell. Sarina followed Julian and Drammell through the ship to Admiral Ross’s assigned area. Admiral Ross was standing beside a chair that sat at a computer.

“ _Come sit down_ , will you?” Admiral Ross spoke in a formal voice. “It’s time for another _talk_.”

Drammell dragged Julian over to the chair and forced him to sit. Admiral Ross reached into his pocket and pulled out a couple of devices Julian recognized as Romulan mind probes, the same he himself had been interrogated with the year before. Admiral Ross scowled at his expression.

“I take it you remember _these,_ ” Admiral Ross replied frostily as he attached the probes to Julian’s temples. “I got them from what Luther Sloan left behind after you and Chief O’Brien _murdered_ him…”

Julian, however, didn’t respond because he knew that trying to tell the truth wouldn’t work; it wouldn’t be believed and so it was better not to speak. Admiral Ross smirked before extracting a capped syringe from his pocket that he had stolen from the Lionheart’s small Sickbay.

“You’re an _illegal Augment_ and a _traitor_ to the Federation,” Admiral Ross spoke in a cold, unfeeling voice, his expression dark as he uncapped the syringe. “What information did you give Cardassia?”

Everything happened in a flash: Julian anxiously knocked the syringe away and tried to flee, but he was overpowered by Admiral Ross and Drammell. Julian quickly found himself pinned to the chair and as he felt the syringe enter his neck, he felt something hard smash into one ankle at a time.

Nobody on the Lionheart missed hearing the noise as Julian began emitting high-pitched screams of pure agony.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

The program Elim ultimately chose was a simple swimming pool where small children could play. He had replicated Ricky a swimsuit and was now sitting on the edge of the pool with his bare feet in the water and his boots in his lap while Ricky sat in shallow water with a few simple toys. Wanting to feel better, Elim had made the water a little warmer than normal, but it was fine for both of them.

“Are you having fun?” Elim asked in a soft voice. “I thought you might like the water since I’ve seen your daddy use holoprograms with water sometimes. You’re quite a _natural_ in the water.”

Ricky smiled and babbled whilst waving a toy boat in the air. The door suddenly opened and Deanna, who was holding Yoshi, came into the holodeck. Elim sighed as he gazed at them. Deanna was wearing a simple uniform, but Yoshi was dressed for swimming and holding a toy boat.

“I thought Ricky might enjoy a playmate,” Deanna spoke kindly. “His parents are busy and his sister is at school. Chief O’Brien mentioned you’d be here and I wondered if you’d like company?”

Elim shrugged and Deanna sat next to him, gently shooing Yoshi towards the water before sighing, “I had an _anxiety attack_ earlier and Doctor Kelas Parmak of the Cardassia City Hospital _insisted_ that I bring Ricky up here for _relaxation_ ,” he found himself speaking. “I _suppose_ Ricky’s enjoying it.”

“And what about _you_?” Deanna asked softly, frowning. “Are _you_ enjoying yourself here?”

Elim sighed and shook his head, “ _Not really_ ,” he admitted softly, his expression sad. “It’s been _two days_ since Julian was kidnapped and nobody’s discovered anything that might bring him home.”

Deanna’s expression, however, had suddenly changed as she sensed agony beyond any normal levels of emotion that she often felt on the Enterprise, “I…I sense _agony_ ,” she spoke in a quiet voice, her expression haunted in realizing that Julian must not be very far away. “I sense great _agony_ …”

Elim frowned, “Well, I’m in _grief_ ,” he replied softly. “And I’m _numb_ …but _agony_?”

Deanna tapped her combadge, “Troi to Picard, I’m sensing an intense agony that is associated with high levels of pain,” she reported in a concerned voice. “Is something happening on the ship?”

Ricky’s face suddenly crumbled and he began to scream while wailing, “ _What’s the matter_?” Elim asked in a confused voice, alarmed enough to get up and pluck Ricky from the water. “ _Shh_ …”

“He’s got telepathic powers!” Deanna spoke in an anxious voice, realizing she could sense powers similar to her own within the toddler's young mind. “He’s _sensing_ something and responding to it the only way he knows how!”

Elim frowned as he cuddled Ricky close, “I _don’t know_ who the other parent was because Julian was impregnated in the internment camp _before_ I arrived,” he replied worriedly. “I wonder…could Julian be on a _cloaked_ ship close to where we are? It might be _why_ you and Ricky are sensing… _agony_.”

“ _Scan for any sign of a cloaked vessel in the area_!” Picard’s voice filled the air. “ _Immediately_!”

Elim exhaled anxiously, his expression distraught as he considered that his theory might be true.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

Loud swearing filled Admiral Ross’s quarters aboard the Lionheart as Julian sank out of the chair and to the floor, landing unceremoniously in a pile of bloody vomit that had come from his body as a result of the latest interrogation. Both his ankles were broken, he couldn’t breathe, and pain was shooting up and down his entire body because of the interrogation. He was almost finished.

“Bashir is _soft_ and _worthless_!” Admiral Ross shouted, glaring at Drammell. “Where’s Captain Staveli? I want you to take him to her and make her send him out the airlock so he can _die_! I’ll make sure you get to Deep Space Nine even if I have to fix this pile of scrap metal myself!”

Admiral Ross stormed from the room and Drammell hauled Julian into an upright position, “No…” Julian moaned weakly, fighting hard to stay conscious. “I… _please_ …I _don’t know anything_ …”

Instead of responding, Drammell hauled Julian from the room and down the corridor, “ _I…I need Elim_ ,” Julian moaned weakly. “ _And my son. I…I’m addicted to them…I love them…I need them_.”

Drammell’s eyes widened and he stopped. He hadn’t realized that Julian had outright lied to Admiral Ross about where his son was and about his relationship to the Cardassian Elim Garak. A glint of gold flashed against a wall and Drammell’s heart dropped when he saw a band on Julian’s ring finger, indicating that the man was married, “ _What_ did you _do_ to him?!” an angry voice filled the corridor.

Intense anger filled Myrina’s face as she came into view and saw Drammell holding on to a semi-conscious, heavily battered Julian, “Admiral Ross wants Bashir thrown out the airlock,” Drammell stated in an anxious voice. “Bashir’s _not acting_ like an Augment, so maybe Ross was lying?”

“It _doesn’t matter_ if he was or not,” Myrina spoke anxiously. “My crew has done _everything_ we can to stall, but Admiral Ross is personally overseeing repairs now, so we’ve run out of time…Oh!”

Blood trickled from Julian’s mouth as the man coughed weakly, “The Enterprise is nearby, so maybe we just beam Bashir over there and then _leave_ ,” Drammell spoke anxiously. “It might be safer.”

Myrina nodded, knowing that just simply doing that wasn’t enough. _Someone_ had to take responsibility for what had happened and even if she had to be the one, someone had to do it.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

“If you wanted to stay the night on board, I’m sure Captain Picard could find you both some quarters,” Miles offered as he led Elim, who was holding a dry and dressed Ricky, into the transporter room after Elim had decided to go back home with his son. “It’s not any trouble.”

Elim sighed, “We have a _routine_ ,” he replied patiently. “The holodeck was beneficial and it will help us to at least get through the night. I appreciate you intervening on our behalf, but we _do need to go_.”

Nodding, Chief O’Brien moved over to the transporter console and the officer on duty left the room to give the friends privacy, “Just beam us inside our home, please,” Elim spoke, holding Ricky close as he walked over to the pad with a tired expression on his face. “I think we both need a meal and…”

“Hold on, there’s an incoming transport!” Chief O’Brien said anxiously. “The lifesign’s Human!”

Without hesitation, Miles energized it and swore when the limp, unconscious battered form of Julian Bashir-Garak materialized on the pad. Julian’s clothes were a mess of rips, blood, and vomit and Elim quickly covered Ricky’s face so that the toddler wouldn’t see his other father’s condition.

Before Miles could contact the Bridge or Sickbay about Julian’s sudden return, alarms filled the air, “ _A vessel has just decloaked off the port side_!” a voice announced. “ _All stations, Red Alert!”_

Elim’s eyes widened in shock, but he said nothing while Miles quickly called for a medical team.


	12. A Sacrifice Of Love

The Enterprise-E and the Lionheart had been in a silent faceoff for the last three hours, neither wanting to do anything now that the truth was out. Cardassia City had been informed of what had happened and now Captain Picard was praying he wouldn’t have to charge that crew with murder.

“Run a scan,” Captain Picard spoke in a firm voice. “I want to see who we’re dealing with.”

Data worked quickly at his console, “Sir, my analysis of the crew manifest tells me that it is a cargo vessel run by Bajoran civilians,” he responded. “The ship itself is called the Lionheart and before now, it was a supply runner and also involved in a botanical expedition on Bajor…”

“Botanical expedition?” Captain Picard asked in a quiet voice, his mind working quickly. “Data, do you think it’s possible that Keiko O’Brien might know of the ship? She herself was on Bajor…”

Data tapped a few keys, “Shall I summon her to the Bridge?” he asked in as curious a voice as he could manage. “She and Chief O’Brien are currently in Sickbay waiting for news on Doctor Bashir’s condition, as is Doctor Bashir’s husband, Legate Garak. If you deem it necessary, however…”

Captain Picard sighed anxiously as he looked to Troi, “Deanna, can you please go down to Sickbay and ask Keiko if she remembers the Lionheart and its crew?” he asked in a quiet voice. “Please.”

Deanna nodded, quickly rising from her chair, “Of course, Captain,” she said before leaving.

“Captain, scans are telling me that more than just Bajorans are aboard the vessel at this present time,” Data reported once Troi had gone. “Perhaps Captain Drammell is also aboard and had a hand…”

Captain Picard looked grim, “Get them in a tractor beam and hail them,” he ordered sternly. “I don’t want them to have a chance to get away before we learned what this is all about.”

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

“Captain Staveli, they’ve caught us in a _tractor beam_!” Loran Eli, the Lionheart’s Helmsman, spoke in a concerned voice as the Lionheart shook violently. “Should we try to break it?”

Admiral Ross, who had quickly realized what Drammell had done, let out a little growl from the back of the Bridge. Drammell, meanwhile, was working at the Communications station simply because he wasn’t for Starfleet’s fun and games anymore. He had beamed Julian to safety, but the Enterprise-E obviously wanted answers and it was quite apparent that the Lionheart was severely outmatched.

Myrina, meanwhile, sat in the center seat looking troubled and concerned. She had paid a visit to her personal quarters after watching Drammell beam Julian to the Enterprise-E and she had packed her personal PADDs and data-rods while leaving everything else because it would be no use to her where she intended to go, “We’re being _hailed_!” Drammell replied in an astonished, scared voice.

“Put it on the screen,” Myrina replied in a quiet voice. “Admiral Ross, _stop_ growling.”

As the Bridge of the Enterprise-E appeared on the screen, Admiral Ross marched up to Myrina with an infuriated expression on his face, “You and your _worthless_ crew sabotaged the ship so Bashir would be found, didn’t you?!” he snapped coldly, glaring at her. “And then you beamed him…”

“To _safety_ ,” Myrina finished firmly, glaring at him. “I could _care less_ about what you or Starfleet or even the Federation wants, Admiral Ross. What you did to Doctor Bashir is _truly unforgivable!_ ”

Admiral Ross scoffed irritably and Picard cleared his throat as he rose on the screen, “Captain Picard, on behalf of my crew, I would like to take responsibility for what has happened to Doctor Bashir,” Myrina spoke in a penitent voice, sighing. “I was _unaware_ of Admiral Ross’s true intent…”

Swearing, Admiral Ross backhanded Myrina hard and ignored her expression of pain as he turned to face Picard and the others on the Bridge, “You and I both know that Bashir’s _dangerous_ , Picard,” he spoke in a cold, commanding voice. “You were _ordered_ to apprehend him and you _obviously_ …”

“ _I chose what was right over what was easy!_ ” Picard replied in an angry voice. “ _You didn’t!”_

Admiral Ross scoffed, “Have what’s left of the Augment, then,” he sneered. “Captain Staveli…”

“Our agreement is _terminated_ ,” Myrina spoke coldly, glaring at Admiral Ross. “ _Get off my ship_.”

Admiral Ross froze, “ _Excuse me_?” he asked in a cold voice. “I hired you and paid you to…!”

“I _didn’t_ agree to kidnap an innocent man and watch as you and Sarina Douglas brutalized him to a near-death state!” Myrina shouted, rising from her chair with an infuriated expression on her face.

Swearing angrily, Admiral Ross looked to Drammell, “I arranged for you to take command of Deep Space Nine and _this_ is how you repay me?!” he asked in a disgusted voice. “You aid an _Augment?!”_

Drammell, however, said nothing, _“…Attention, crew of the cargo vessel Lionheart_ ,” a stern voice suddenly broke through the open comms channel. “ _This is Castellan Dramok of Cardassia Prime_ _and I demand your crew surrender your hostage. Doctor Bashir-Garak is one of our citizens and Cardassia has a right to protect him as we see fit. You have one hour to comply or I will deploy what of the military we have to assist in retrieving our citizen. We are a small, but mighty nation.”_

“We no longer have Doctor Bashir,” Myrina replied. “We beamed him to the Enterprise.”

Silence filled the air and Admiral Ross looked angry, realizing his plan had just blown up.

“Castellan Dramok, I can confirm that Doctor Bashir-Garak is safe aboard our vessel,” Captain Picard spoke up in a concerned voice. “We are prepared to arrest those involved in this.”

Admiral Ross scoffed angrily, “There will be no need for that, Captain,” Myrina spoke in a calm, penitent voice. “If none else will turn themselves in, I will hand myself over willingly.”

Just then, the turbolift on the Enterprise opened and a very confused Keiko came on to the Bridge after being talked to by Deanna. She froze at seeing Myrina on the viewscreen along with a simple looking crew and an infuriated looking Admiral Ross. Keiko felt sick; she knew from Miles that Admiral Ross had it in for Miles and Julian, but she had no idea how far the Admiral had gone to deal with the problem that he perceived Julian to be. It appeared he had hired a Bajoran crew.

“You are aware of the consequences of turning yourself in?” Captain Picard was asking.

Admiral Ross scowled, “Pay _no mind_ to _them_ ,” he sneered. “Now, do us a favor and let us go because I’ve got to deliver _Captain_ Drammell to his new posting. You can have Myrina if you want.”

“We stand with our Captain,” Loran Eli spoke up, gazing at the screen. “We do not serve Starfleet.”

Myrina looked touched, but Admiral Ross’s scowl deepened, “Captain Drammell, take command of the Lionheart so that these Bajoran _weaklings_ can turn themselves in to Starfleet, will you?”

Drammell, however, remained seated and stared at his console hard, “Stephen, do what you’re told or I’ll _make sure_ you return to the penal colony once we get back to Earth!” Admiral Ross snapped, glaring daggers at the man. “And I’ll make sure you don’t get out this time! Do you understand?!”

“Captain Staveli, you’d better go,” Drammell spoke nervously, his eyes downcast. “I have to stay.”

Myrina rose from her chair, “Give me time to gather the crew and allow them to make their own choice,” she spoke, gazing at Picard. “Those who want to come will beam over with me.”

The viewscreen shut off as Loran rose from his station and followed Myrina from the Bridge to gather the other crew, as all of them were busy with ‘repairs.’ Admiral Ross smirked and walked over to Drammell, his expression calm as he rested a hand on the former prisoner’s shoulder.

“You made the _right_ decision,” Admiral Ross spoke calmly. “ _Everything_ will be fine for you.”

Drammell nodded, his expression neutral as he stared at the controls silently and numbly.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

“That _was_ Myrina Staveli from the project I did on Bajor, but she’s _changed_ ,” Keiko spoke in a concerned voice, frowning at Captain Picard and Commander Riker. “I _don’t understand_ …”

Captain Picard sighed, “I don’t either, but I am determined to find out and also work with the Cardassian government to ensure justice for Doctor Bashir-Garak,” he replied. “How is he?”

“ _Captain Picard, with your permission, my wife would like to come on board your ship to help with the doctor_ ,” Castellan Dramok’s voice spoke. “ _She was Doctor Bashir-Garak’s physician before…”_

Captain Picard rose from his seat, “I’ll meet your wife in the transporter room,” he replied calmly, sighing as he made his way to the lift. “Commander Riker, you have the Bridge.”

As the Captain moved into the lift, Keiko joined him, “Captain, I hope you don’t mind that I asked Counselor Troi to stay in Sickbay with Miles and Garak,” she spoke softly. “Doctor Crusher’s doing her best, but it’s anyone’s guess if Julian will respond. He was hurt pretty badly over there.”

Nodding, Captain Picard remained on the turbolift as Keiko got off on the deck where Sickbay was because she wanted to sit with Miles and Garak while they waited. When she arrived at the Sickbay, she saw that Garak and Miles were sitting at a desk normally used for doctor-patient conversations and Garak was reading Ricky a book. Miles was listening while half-watching the surgical bay.

“How are things going?” Keiko asked softly, approaching. “It’s been a while…”

Miles sighed, “Doctor Crusher’s doing what she can to flush the drugs from Julian’s system now that she’s repaired the injuries,” he explained because Garak didn’t wish to discuss it. “Counselor Troi brought Garak a book to read to Ricky and she’s also working on getting them quarters on board the ship so they can stay as close to Julian as possible. He’s gonna be here for a while….”

Keiko nodded, “As I was leaving the Bridge, the Castellan told Captain Picard that Doctor Grayson-Dramok would be beaming on board to help take care of Julian,” she explained in a quiet voice.

Garak, who had been trembling with anxiety, suddenly stilled and looked considerably more relaxed at hearing his friend would be coming to help his husband. Miles sighed anxiously, but didn’t get a chance to speak because it was then that Captain Picard arrived with Doctor Grayson-Dramok, who was carrying a medkit, and a stern looking guard that Miles recognized as Malko Marratt.

“Officer Marratt, just wait here while I convene with Doctor Crusher,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok spoke in an official voice, nodding at the Cardassian. “The Castellan insisted I travel with a bodyguard and given the delicate nature of the situation, I agreed. Now, where is Doctor Crusher?”

Miles pointed to the surgical bay and Dr. Grayson-Dramok quickly went in without offering a word to anyone else. Garak looked at Malko, a surprised expression on his face.

“I didn’t think Galenna would let a _junior officer_ guard Lady Dramok,” Elim commented softly.

Malko sighed, “Galenna’s not had a day off since Doctor Bashir-Garak was kidnapped and she was forced to take one by the Castellan himself,” he replied before smirking. “I believe that she and Doctor Dastra are spending some quiet time _together_ now that he’s out of the hospital.”

“So he _finally_ admitted his feelings for her, did he?” Elim replied in a sly, amused tone.

Malko nodded, “I’ve also been tasked with questioning the crew of the Lionheart when they beam over,” he explained nervously. “Captain Picard, that was a request the Castellan made.”

As Captain Picard nodded, Dr. Grayson-Dramok wandered back into the main area, “Elim, I need to talk with you in private,” she spoke in a quiet voice. “Can you come with me to the surgical bay?”

Nodding, Elim handed Ricky over to Miles and swallowed hard as he rose and followed his friend into the surgical bay. Dr Crusher and Alyssa Ogawa were working tirelessly on Julian, who was clad in patient pajamas, as he lay unconscious under a surgical frame and blanket. He was pale and visibly injured and Elim didn’t focus on looking at him for long; it _hurt_ him to see his beloved _so broken_.

“The Castellan has authorized me to tell you that he’s spoken with the top brass at Starfleet and your husband will still need to face a court-martial for going against orders, but it will be simple and involve no prison time,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok replied. “It will, however, require going to Earth.”

Elim scoffed, “Mary, my dear, Julian’s in _no shape_ to be going to Earth,” he replied indignantly.

“He’s _not_ going to be able to recover from such _serious_ injuries on Cardassia because it doesn't have the medical resources he needs right now,” Dr. Grayson-Dramok replied in a firm voice. “I _promise_ you, Elim, Cardassia will help you both with all of this. I just need you to trust me as Julian's doctor and as the friend you know."

Swallowing hard, Elim glanced at Julian briefly before nodding, “I’m _listening_ ,” he said softly, his expression sad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is finished, but there will be a fourth instalment called 'Endurance.'
> 
> In 'Endurance', the new Bashir-Garak family addresses what has happened to Julian and how their longstanding commitment to each other has affected everyone around them. The family must also contend with the unrest that has erupted between Starfleet and Cardassia because of the obvious moral corruption within Starfleet.


End file.
